[Original Mike]

OK, if the events of this past week have been a bit surreal involving my new guys, it just got weirder!!

This weekend, I have doing respite for B to see how we get along. He's 15 and not happy in his current foster home. As I've said before, I know these folks and they are good people, but they don't have any patience for teenagers. B is your typical cocky jock type.

Well, this weekend has gone pretty well. he copped an attitude with fm when I went to pick him up, including saying (loud enough for me to hear) "This weekend is just gonna suck!" When he came into the living room, I told him "Listen, B, I don't do attitudes. You can either leave it here or have a terrible weekend. I have handcuffs in my car and I'm not afraid to use them." The look on his face was one of shock and horror.

he was quiet for about the first half of the drive home, then he said quietly "Hey, I'm kinda sorry about, ya know, back there." I told him we could just hit the reset button. I put my hand out and said "Hi, B, I'm Mike. nice to meet you." He shook my hand.

I was a little worried about how he and R would get along, as b is the cocky jock and R is 100% passive. Oddly enough, they have gotten on great. My house has two systems of heating vents. One is from the old boiler system that was removed in the 1970's. The ducts are still there and I use them to eavesdrop on the boys when I have to. Last night, B and R were in the basement playing video games. I sat on the couch in the living room directly above and listened in. It was very enlightening. B was asking lots of questions about me and how I run my house. he was also VERY considerate of R.

When we came home last night after the movies, R went to play on the computer for a while and I went out onto the deck. B came out after a few minutes and sat down with me. We started talking about just normal stuff: movies, sports, stuff I do. Over time, however, the conversation began to change. B told me how he hates being in foster care. he shared some of his frustrations with his current fps. I told him he would have some of that in every home he's in.

he also told me about his mom and how she "just ditched him". (His worker has already given me his whole backstory, but b doesn't know this.) Well, in short, we ended up talking on the deck for four hours. I found b to be more than just a cocky jock. I got a few glimpses of a scared little boy (kinda funny, since he's 6 ft and 200 pounds at 15!) who is very afraid of growing up alone. He told me some of the stuff he does is just to tick off his fm. We talked about what he wanted in a home.

The final "Twilight Zone" moment came this morning. I was in the living room reading when B got up before R. B came in and said "good Morning". Then, he started looking at some of the pictures on my mantle. he got to the one of my friend Nick and I. He asked me "That guys was a cop, wasn't he?" I told him he was. He said "He got shot a couple of years ago, right?" I nodded. The next sentence hit me like lightning. "You know, he was the cop who took me into foster care." WHAT??????

B shared a story (much of which I already heard from his worker). His mom's boyfriend was abusive, and that night had whipped him badly with an extension cord. B ran away to an all-night diner. He was 13. Since it was after midnight, the owner quietly called the cops. Well, it now turns out that Nick was the cop who showed up. B told me how he sat and talked with him for a while. Nick then called CPS in. B told me that he would never forget how nice Nick was to him. I just sat there and stared. From the file, B came into care just about two weeks before Nick died.

Can anyone tell me what the fudge is going on????? Even I'm starting to get weirded out.

[lucyjoy]

That is interesting. Not betting you'd like my take on it so I'll keep that to myself.

If it were me, I'd go with the first two kids and let this one learn to adjust in his current placement. He has a home, the other two don't.

[Original Mike]

From a creep factor, what are the odds of two potential placements with odd coincidences involving the same deceased friend? That's what I'm finding strange.

I know that B didn't make up the story of meeting Nick because of one odd detail that only a person who had met him and conversed with him would have known.

And, yes, i know you're take on it. And you know that you and I generally have diametrically opposed views on that subject. Thank God that friends dont have to agree on everything.

[saj]

Ya know, it gives me shivers down my spine about the connection to Nick. I always say that our children find us, we don't find them. With that said, I hear what Lucyjoy is NOT saying, loud and clear. Any chance that you could mentor him? Anyway much good vibes going out to you as you move forward with your two (3?) new boys.

Sincerely,
Saj

[Binny]

God is revealing himself to ya big time. Pray and He will give you the wisdom you need. Praying for clear discernment for you and a chance for you to continue impacting as many teens as God has for ya to witness to.

[po]

I think that you can handle all three. One thing is certain you will never be lonely. Getting them all at the same time they would learn to fit in together and there would be less pecking order. They all need you.

[momraine]

I will tell you what I think, since you probably already know. I think God is working on you, He has had a plan for you all along. He is showing you. You may think I am nuts, well OK you have met me so now you know I am nuts, but anyway, that's what I think. I am still praying for you, for now, I have enough faith for the both of us, and I know I am not the only one praying for you.

[lovemy6]

I've got goosebumps on my goosebumps. That is TOO twighlightzoneish!

We got two sibling groups placed a day apart. We did respite for the older kids for Fri-Sunday, then called on Monday and told the sw we'd take them. That same night, we got a call from another county about our younger kids. We told her about the older kids and we were approved to take all four kids. The younger kids moved in Dec 20th and the older ones on the 21st. What a Christmas!

Ok, now a question: How does Nick fit into the other two boys' story?

[kretzklan]

I'm touched by all the things you are learning about the universe! I hope that a decision on all these things come easily and work out well!

[Lylac]

I truely believe that people are sent into our lives, no matter how brief, for a purpose. It's just too weird, for it NOT to have been anything else.

Just like the time with Bremons uncle...fate!

It could also be Nicks way of saying Hey! I'm still here, and watching.

[aMarylandfamily]

Decisions are never easy ... and of course my take on it is you can take all 3 - you have big house, big heart and all it takes to help + more!

Think this is Nick's intervention as another poster mentioned to say "I'm watching ... and you are not done - you have just begun (again)!"

What's meant to be will be - just keep the light on ... there could be more ... (ouch - that dart hurt!!!)

Keep us posted!

[crick]

Well, my take on it is you just take all 3 and have 4 kids. 4 is easy...c'mon!

In seriousness, maybe your place in his life is exactly what you are doing and Nick is there making sure you do it.

Whatever you decide I know you'll come to the decision with careful thought and consideration. If you feel the thought is getting in the way of the leap of faith and you need a push, I'm happy to do that.

[Original Mike]

The fact that you used the phrase "Leap of Faith". That phrase comes from my favorite philospher, Soren Kierkegaard, and I quote it frequently.

It's just a lot to think about right now. Too often, I do over-analyze things and act (as Jean says) "like a one-man debate team".

Maybe tonight I'll just clear my head and chill in front of the TV with some good old Benny Hill episodes!

[lucyjoy]

The first to kids NEED a family. The third kid just doesn't like the family he has. Once the first two get settled, you can think about the other one, though I wouldn't.

(Getting out duct tape to tape hands from talking anymore)

[Lorraine123]

Do his current foster parents want a new home for him? If not, then he has a home and it isn't yours. If they are asking for him to be moved, then go for it. Otherwise, in my opinion, you are breaking up an existing family. If I sent my child to respite for the weekend and she told the respite provider that she liked it there better than here, I feel that it is the respite provider's responsiblity to help build the family up, not tear it down. I would be devastated if the respite provider considered taking her form my home. Children should not be able to pick who they live with based on who is fun.

Now, if they are looking to rehome him, thats different.