[Christians-Mommy]

So we are most likely taking my AD's baby brother. I am wondering what attachment things I can do with him. He will be around 8 months. I know he gets overstimulated easily. When he is upset he is not calmed easily and has to be layed down in a quiet room dark by himself. He was Meth exposed and suspected alcohol exposure.

What things can we do to help him attach? What books would you recomend? A friend recomended Attaching in Adoption any thoughts?

[kretzklan]

That is a good book...I think there are a few geared toward attaching with infants - I never read them as my child was older - but they have gotten rave reviews. You may want to PM angelkisses on this site - she has a lot of experience with AD in babies. I know that wearing them close to you in one of those front carriers is great - with them facing you. I would say for attachment, you may want to lay with him in the quiet room as that would be a great bonding time! Good luck!

[Kelly Rae]

Don't touch My heart by L.G. Mansfield and Jonathan Weast
Building the Bonds of attachment by Daniel A. Hughes
When Love is Not Enough by Nancy Thomas
Attaching in Adoption by Deborah Gary
Adopting the Older Child by Claudia Jewatt Jarrett
A Child's Journey Through Placement by Vera Fahberg


Not necessarily attachment but give a good glimpse as to what odd behaviors parents might see and why:
Adopting the Hurt Child and Parenting the Hurt Child by Keck, Regina M. Kupecky and L.G. Mansfiled

Toddler adoption: The Weaver' Craft by Mary Hopkins-Best
Another place at the Table by Kathy Harrisonband
One small Boat by Kathy Harrisonband

Sensory issues: The Out-of-Sync Child by Carol Stock Kranowitz and Lucy Jane Miller, Out of Sync Child Has Fun by Carol Stock Kranowitz

[Barksum]

Attaching in Adoption by D. Gray is the one I'd pick for the younger crowd, as well as the Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft.

Things such as skin to skin contact (swim suits fit this bill nicely), rocking, baby wearing, etc. All those things that nurturing parents tend to do with their infants. Pick a primary caregiver and have only that person feed the baby.

Explore Early Intervention in your area as they may be able to screen for issues such as dysfunction of sensory integration or other issues/delays that can help you as you work on attachment. At this young age you can do ALL kinds of stuff with the little guy relating to sensory integration. Bath foam, pudding or baby food finger paint (in the high chair), gentle swinging, etc. etc. The Out of Sync Child Has Fun lists ALL kinds of SI stuff that you will probably notice you already do with babies. There is another SI book out there, can't remember the name, that is good for suggesting activities.

Lots of meaningful eye contact, slowly building up to it if the child is resistant initially. Baby steps! So while feeding, even if he has to sit upright instead of having him recline (in case of feeding or reflux issues) you can still work on eye contact. Don't have the baby hold the bottle when drinking, you hold the bottle. Patty cake, reading nursery rhymes (inflection, tempo, etc., while looking at Baby's eyes) all kinds of stuff. Feeding Cheerios one at a time to him. (or whatever level of food he's eating, one bite at a time.) Singing. Even if you can't carry a tune in a bucket! LOL

[Christians-Mommy]

Thanks so much for the ideas. I have a great sling for baby wearing. I will get some of those books. I will let ya know how it goes.

We might be starting visitations with him in May....