[aspenhall]

Ok, seriously I am in shock and terrified here. My dd just turned 8 yrs old and in 2nd grade, and around that time she started getting weird about being with boys....started getting flirty and giggly and stuff...needing to put glitter on before seeing her friend.....

Then I realized she's been grumpy/uber-emotional in a PMS way and if I didn't know better I'd swear she was hormonal...

About a month ago we noticed her "niblets" were kinda puffy and odd looking...I figured she was just finally gaining weight and filling out. (not sure how graphic I can be here)

Then she asked me 2 weeks ago when she would start puberty and start growing up like a grown up. I was floored that she'd even heard that word or understood the concept. I told her to expect stuff changing around age 12. I explained the first basic thing of the little sore marbles in your chest and to let me know when that happened or if anything on her body ever changed.

So this past 2 weeks anytime anyone bumps her she covers her chest and expresses discomfort. Then I start to wonder, so this week I ask her if she thinks she's felt marbles, she says she thinks so, but mainly it's just really sore. So I check her, and sure enough there's something there that hasn't ever been there before.

CAN THIS SERIOUSLY BE HAPPENING? Is it normal or even healthy?

If so......CAN IT BE STOPPED?!!??!!

Should I be taking her to a doctor because it's unhealthy and needs to be repressed? .....I'm just at a loss here, and I can't fathom that before entering double digit years I could have a behaviorally challenged, hormonal, mini-adult-type kid on my hands who is now HIGHLY interested in boys, but lacks the brain processes to make those serious kinds of choices.

[crick]

I would take her to the pediatrician if only to confirm the onset of puberty, but to make sure she's okay too.

Unfortunately, yes...girls are starting puberty much earlier these days, although 8 is still on the young side for that. Happens though. It might be though that she's just starting her breast development which can start out slow. Meaning, she might not be in full onset and take her time. But that's why I'd see the doc...see what they think.

And yes, be prepared for her to come home asking questions or talking about things she's heard at school that you and I didn't talk about til junior high.

The flirty thing comes and goes with my dd, who is now 11. Kindy-2nd grade she was in the "ewwww! boys!" stage. 3rd grade she told me she was going to kiss her boyfriend. I went "Huh?" Luckily "boyfriend" meant they ate at the same table at lunch time. Meaning, it was still innocent stuff. 4th grade was back to "ewww" and now in 5th grade she is interested in boys but not overly so.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this so early!

[Rainbow mom]

I just got a brochure from DD(8) pediatrician which claims the onset from 8-13 now. Your not alone in this, Doc told me it is about time to talk menstration with DD.

[athikers]

Yeah, I don't think 12 is anywhere near average anymore. If your daughter has breast development, she's typically got less than a year until she gets her period. Great, huh?

[millie58]

Don't have girls but OMG!!!

[triciansil]

Your daughter is right on the border of normal development. Anytime it happens to a child "usually" under the age of 8, it is referred to as precocious puberty.

[Kat-L]

I took M-K to the doctor when she was 8 because she had pubic hair and the beginning of breasts. The doctor ordered an x-ray of her hand to see where she was (developmentally) and estimated that she was still about 2.5 years from a period. They decided to "wait and see". She is now 10.5 and still hasn't had a period-although she definately has mood swings and seems hormonal. The doctor estimated her first period at 11.

They CAN stop you from developing too soon-and for M-K's doctor, 8 was too soon. They aim for 11 and up. So, if she is definately developing too quickly, your doctor can stop it's progression.

[aspenhall]

I guess a visit to the doc is in order.....

She has had boys pursuing her romantically for a year or more, but she wasn't interested.....now she is and that scares me!

Plus she loves acting grown-up and stuff, so I worry she'll act grown-up before understanding the ramifications....

I always figured you got breast soreness and stuff and then periods happened within 1-2 years. I can't imagine a PMS-ing 9 year old...or a "turned-on by boys" 11 year old...

I mean at this rate, the "maturation program", in 3 long years, will be a moot point.....

I did email her bmom to ask what her puberty schedule was like. But I don't know if she'll answer me or respond. It's hit and miss. I don't want to talk about periods and babies now....then she doesn't start until she's 12, because she'd blab to her friends at school about it now, and that would be bad.

But I also don't want her starting her period before I've perepared her and I've read that even with breast buds starting now, it can still take into the teens to get your period. but if it can happen in a few months from now then I need to warn her. It will be especially bad because she has a thing with blood. It terrifies her...bleeding equals dying....even a tiny dot or scratch will have her anxious.

[greenmama]

I really think girls should know about periods BEFORE age 9 or 10...if it's just made a part of life it won't be a big deal to her. I'd bet a lot of the girls in her class/friends already know all about it. I can't imagine waiting longer than that.

[Lylac]

Oh No! I mean Oh yes! It can be early onset of puberty. And in most cases completely normal. Hugs Aspen!! Your baby is growing up.

[aspenhall]

She's only in 2nd grade, I can't imagine that anyone in 2nd grade knows about all that...I always figured with her rampant curiosity about all things...she'd hear something and then come ask me...that's how she does everything else...By then I'd know it was being talked about already and I could start talking about it with her, without her being "that kid" who ruins everyone else's kid's innocence.

I assumed that by 4th grade the looking at boys would begin....(even tho I was interested by 2nd grade myself) and that would be a good time to discuss it....

Her Bmom was 11 when bmom's dad finally went to prison for molesting her, her entire life. I wonder if he got caught at that age because of puberty happening around that time....I don't have any of that info....I can only guess. But if she really is gonna start her period early it makes me wonder...did her bmom start early too? and could the abuse have been uncovered because of a pregnancy? And if so, did she place or did she abort? I do know she is HIGHLY fertile....(She gets pregnant often and easily. I don't think they're planned and I get the sense birth control just doesn't work as well for her.) The possibility horrifies me and makes me wish even more that we were closer. Is starting early an indication of high fertility....would starting late be an indication of my fertility troubles?

All of this brings up so much stuff. I wonder if her bmom be to traumatized remembering that time period to be able to give me answers or even discuss puberty. I hope I hear from her soon, because if you can't already tell...I'm going crazy worrying and wondering!
LOL

[chelspark1]

My daughter got her first period when she was nine years old. She was 12 when she came here so I'm really just going by what she says and what was written on one of her medical reports.
Of course, at 12 she looked much more mature than any of the girls in her class. She had a much more curvey woman life figure than the others.

[crick]

While I understand the feeling of not wanting to overload her with information, I do agree you might want to start talking to her about things. She's already heard some things at school so it's better that you give her the right information and also find out what she's been told. (Lots of scare/gross tactics seem to come out of the girl talk at school, so you'll want to assure her) You might not need to go into every detail, but start talking. You might check out the American Girl series of books they have on puberty. Lots of books out there actually and they can help you be more comfortable talking to her. Also, your doc might have some suggestions based on what he/she thinks her development "schedule" might be.

My dd was horrified and truly depressed upon finding out what menstruation was. Literally cried and was very upset. However, I was able to comfort her and talk to her etc. and over time it's been a good thing. Now she's more comfortable with the thought of it and not so afraid of getting her period. I was able to determine her biggest fear is she'll get it at school and be embarrassed, so I was able to assure her there are solutions and plans for this.

While I would tell her about privacy and not discussing this at school, I would not worry about it. Truly...they talk about everything at school these days and I find it needs to be more about the focus on my children, their knowledge and correcting things. I do tell my kids not to discuss xx or yy, but I don't NOT tell them things based on this. It's more important to me my kids are informed on things than about other kids getting informtaion.

[aspenhall]

I did tell her I'd warn her of what happens next...and from what I've read I see there's most likely hair growth before a period starts...so I did tell her to watch for armpit hair next...and once that happens, well discuss it and figure out what's next...etc...

[greenrobin]

By the time I was 9, I was wearing a bra--not because I wanted to, either! I developed early, as did my mom, but no one thought anything about stopping it.....I actually never thought about it being done before I read your post!

Like so much of everything else in life, it's a range of normal. Some girls are earlier than others. There are about a million theories about why--the most vocal theorists are the ones who say it's due to the growth hormones fed to our livestock in production farms. Whatever it is, it's still happening.

I've survived 2 early bloomers with my own dds. Just think of all the bonding you'll be doing. 3 of us, PMSing it at once was crazy bad. We ruled! The guys never stood a chance! Seriously, visit with your doctor and ease your mind. This too shall pass.