[Bippette]

Of my three troubled children, my daughter has actually had a very good year. She's 9.5 now, has grown up alot, and no longer pushes my buttons like she once did. She can control herself, so she learns from natural consequences. She left me a little love note on my bathroom sink the other day.

My 10.5 year old sons is still struggling with mental health issues. First they told me he's Bipolar, and now they say not Bipolar but severe ADD and ODD. We continue to experiment with his meds and try to get him where he can control his explosive temper. He sees a counselor once a week, a case manager 1-2 a week and a pysch once ever 1 to 3 months. We are at the point now where he's having about one serious melt down a week. Still almost always with women authority figures...never a man. He's always sorry after a melt down and wants to make amends. The tantrums are almost always triggered when someone tries to get him to do something he doesn't want to do (ie chores and homework).

We've had lots of ups and downs with our former Foster Son the last six months. I got him going to junior college on a full ride, he had a job, had his own small apartment. He was on probation for marijuana possession. I thought things were going really well, and then he hooked up with a woman.

He was caught on with marijuana again, and this time its a felony charge plus a violation of probation. The woman has a little girl.

He was arrested the Monday before Thanksgiving. I had $1500 of his money for college that I had been handing out to him in small amounts. His bail was set at $1100. I wouldn't use his money to get him out. His girlfriend scraped up $300 and took a bunch of her possessions for collateral and got him out.

I told him that I would support him emotionally, but wasn't going to dig him out of this mess and was not going to give him any of my money.

He broke the lease on his apartment and moved in with the girlfriend, her 2 year old and two other adults. He lost his job when he was arrested and she never had one.

Where we are at now is that he is voluntarily going to inpatient rehab. I'm taking him there on Monday. It will be 30-45 days. It's a Christian place, which I think he really needs. And it's dual diagnosis, so they'll evaluate him for mental health issues as well as addiction. They have post-poned all of his court dates until he gets back from rehab.

He owes alot of people alot of money. Not sure how he's going to dig out of that when he gets back. He's pretty desperate now. If this hasn't been painful enough to get him to change his ways, I don't think anything will. I told him that if he gets in trouble with the law one more time then I am done helping him in any way.

I hope he can pull it together. The parent in me has a hard time giving up on that glimmer of hope, even though I know its barely there.

He's been spending quite of bit of time with us lately and brings the gf and little girl with him. He does laundry at our house, uses our computer. We feed them when they come over.

He DOES seem to understand the magintude of trouble that he's in this time. I just don't know if it will be enough.

[kretzklan]

Such great news about your DD!!! Hopefully 2009 will see even greater things. You are doing everything you can for 10 yo DS...with your help, he will hopefully find a regimin that works for him and for your family. I'm sorry about your oldest DS - I think you did the right thing by making him take responsibility for what he did...hopefully rehab will be a turning point for him.

[greenrobin]

Our bipolar son, now nearly 21, had a rough patch with alcohol. He was arrested twice for public intoxication, had his car impounded both times, paid beaux coup dollars in fines and impound fees, but he's been on the straight and narrow.......well, the less crooked and somewhat not as wide path for several months.

In the midst of all of his major shenanigans, I had a friend tell me she thought sons were just stupid and they all had to go through that phase where their brains disconnected.

Granted, N is my biokid and I've raised him. But, I think my friend is pretty wise. The second time did the trick for our boy. Here's hoping it works for yours. Hopefully the courts will be just and fair to him.

Hopefully he'll appreciate it and you.