[jessnboys]

with M, I use a swaddle hold as well. He is swaddled in a blanket and then held his back to my front. Now at almost 9yo, he will bring me a blanket and ask to be "snug as a bug" when he is getting upset. He also asks to be rocked, although not as often as he is learning self-control.

At school, the teacher/aides are not allowed to hold and I'm not sure I would want them to. They call me when it's one of those days and I will "pop in" and stay for a while or deal w/ a situation. M knows that I talk to everyone so his behavior is better at school than at home.

[momraine]

I do remember keeping my chin up out of the way doing those holds. One teacher asked if I was praying. I wasn't, but I thought that would not have been a bad idea. LOL I do remember once doing that and the speech therapist came by to check to see if the kid I was holding would be coming to speech that day. I told her I didn't think he would be ready for a little while but if she had an opening later in the day he might be able to make it. I asked her if she would please not work on teaching him the ch sound just yet. She looked puzzled until she paid attention to what he was yelling. He was calling me a "bit" at the top of his lungs. LOL I was glad for his speech issues that day since a K class was having a party or something and lots of parents were walking by giving me horrified looks. With that little boy once he calmed down enough to stop head butting I would put my chin on his head and rock slightly side to side and talk soothingly to him. Usually he would finally say, "I OK now". I still think of him a lot. He ended up RU with his parents, but from what he told me and what his foster mom said, I don't know that it was a good thing. After his first weekend with her she brought him back with a hand print on his his cheek. We reported it and so as soon as she had him back she pulled him from school.

[hrisme]

The type of restraint you are describing is called the "basket hold" and is one of the more common forms of restraint with children. I would strongly suggest anyone who finds it necessary to physically restrain a child get appropriate training. Proper restraint is key, without it both the parent and the child can sustain major injuries, including death. From personal experience, never approach a raging child from the bottom up! I've gotten more than a few black eyes that way (you'd think I would learn).

[atouchofheaven]

momraine, that's so sad. i've seen my share of sad stories working in that field. you think i'd know better than become a foster parent after seeing the worst a foster child can bring. LOL. i just can't seem to get away from these kids! when people ask what it takes to be a foster parent, i always say a little crazy and a lot of love. i've always known i was crazy, what surprised me is that my husband went along with it! LOL.