[ajjhmf]

Just when I think we have a handle on things...sigh.

J's stealing again. It started with his sister's candy from church and his brother's snacks, but yesterday it progressed to stealing tokens from the guy in the next cage at the batting cages. Andy had to make him turn out his pockets in front of everyone. Prior to that, he was vehemently denying that he even knew anything about said tokens.

He's also having to be picked up from school now since he cant handle the kind of freedom that walking home allows.

This morning he snuck downstairs to watch TV after he was grounded from all media after yesterday's adventure in theft.

He's also back to making as much noise as possible when other people are sleeping. His new pick-up schedule is already screwing with every ones naps. I don't need him shortening the ones they get.

He's also so out of control at church that he can't go to the kids program right now and has to remain glued by my side. It makes it hard to talk to my friends, but if I try and plant him in a chair he just gets up and runs around.

He's back to lying constantly and not listening to our conversations.

I know that some of these things are pretty typical, but this is a constant pain in the rear.

Sorry, I just needed to vent. The holidays are upon us. Bring on the rum!

[Lorraine123]

As I was reading your post, Jenny, I kept thinking - Merry Christmas!!!!! This time of year just seems to bring out these wonderful qualities in our kids.

[aspenhall]

Could doubling the screen time loss help avoid the sneaky morning tv?

Like he was grounded for two days, now he is grounded for an additional two days AND the original 2 days starts over



The stealing thing mostly stopped, when at every transition moment I patted down my child, before leaving, before arriving, at each change of location within a 10 foot radius...etc....

She started putting things into her underwear when I started checking pockets. It worked, but I kept checking and re-checking for weeks until she knew without a doubt there was no possible way she'd get away with it.

And it wasn't always stealing, it was sneaking toys to school, etc....I found that if she was being successful at one dishonesty, then the others would escalate. So then I tried to get back to the original lie or deception and once that was discussed, it kinda helped hit a reset button.

Wasn't he just successful at misleading you guys about what was happening at school? Now he's got to test for anymore weaknesses I think...

[momraine]

When ours are grounded from screen time, one thing we do is to unplug the TV and the satalite before bed. At least it makes it harder for them to turn it on. We have also been known to store the wii and the cable for the satalite in our room at night.

[ajjhmf]

I'm doing those things.

I can't unplug everything because he has siblings who aren't in trouble and H is allowed to get up and watch TV in the morning when she doesn't have school. Like today.


Checking his pockets isn't stopping him from stealing. I do that too.

I've been at this for over 5 years now. This isn'yt new to me.

I'm just frustrated and tired of it coming and going. I just wanted to vent. NM

[kretzklan]

Ah, stealing...I wish I had some answers on that one as it's a never ending cycle at our house. I hope that you get some relief soon - OR some really good booze for all your holiday gifts!

[SuzBerg]

Jenny - I'm sorry things are rough right now ! I don't have any rum to send BUT, Crick left a bottle of wine when y'all were here a few years back. I can send you that (or better yet hope on a and come drink it here ).

I wish I had some great advice or words of wisdom but I don't. I am a good listener so Vent anytime you need to!!!! Hugs - Suz

[momraine]

I heard a solution that involves duct tape, but I have not been able to try it since it's not legal in my state! LOL.
Every time I think we are done with the stealing something else happens. I was helping M in the bathroom at my mils right after the funeral and noticed his pockets were heavy. They were full of quarters. I have been hiding my purse so I was concerned. Turns out he took them from his big brother who keeps his change in a bowl on his desk in his room where M is not allowed. He now has to do restitution for big brother. At least he usually confines his stealing to home.

[Mkuhlmann06]

Would hiding the remote in a location where all members know but he doesn't help deter the tv stealing time? Of course right now, it's only DH and I in addition to our AS and that's what we do. When DH goes to bed he puts the remote in a location that I know, so if I want to watch tv in the morning I know where to find it.

As for stealing, no real advice. AS only stole for the first 6 months and hasn't been at it since. The last time he did it was something out of a girl's backpack at school. School notified me. I called our local police station, and spoke with a jouvenile detective. He was willing to have me bring my AS down to the police station and he would interview him as he would a crime suspect, process him, etc. So I went to school, picked up AS, and without saying a word, drove him to the police station. (Now, I had threatened to do it, so it wasn't a complete surprise to him). The detective met with AS, questioned him, spoke with him, processed him, then determined this first time offense would be community service. If he didn't get caught stealing the rest of the school year this incident would be "purged" from his "record". Keep in mind this was all real to AS, but there isn't a formal file/record.

I can't say for sure this is what put a stop to AS, but he will admit he's never forgotten it. AS has admitted to stealing money from his own biomom at the age of 5. All 14 foster homes before us have caught him stealing/lying, so he has definitely been doing it for a long time.

I sure hope he starts making better decisions soon! We've done the pockets, pat downs, room inspections, etc. and it's exhausting... I can't imagine doing it for the past 5 years. So keep venting... Im sure you need it!

[ajjhmf]

J's stopped before....but he just seems to start back up. I know why he does it and what to do about it, but it's just that it's never ending.

Tonight, Andy benched him during his baseball game for stealing the tokens at the batting cages yesterday. This is in addition to his other consequences. Don't know if it helped, but we tried it anyway.

It's just real tiring.

[crick]

Seems to me you should be focusing on YOU. You know why, how, what etc. for him and that it's a cycle of his. I'd be buying rum by the Truckload!

Argh...maybe a spa day for Mom!?

Vent and do something nice for YOU.

[Butterflies2]

My sympathies, from a fellow mother of a little theif. The last theft was candy from her grandfather. We discovered it just in time to have her put it back just minutes before grandpa went to get it to give it to her!

Isn't it nice when people at school are asking questions about wether or not you feed your child sufficiently when they get caught stealing snacks at school?

[chickymum]

Good times, Good times. It just sucks when you think that the stealing, lying sneakiness is starting to slow down and then BOOM another big bout of it hits. I so understand!