[Indy]

I know that V has bonded to me to some degree. I also know that he has lost hope for his future, at least one that is free of legal entanglements. His brother ages out of the system next month. His brother is hell bent on drugs, alcohol, and gang things. V will be losing his last bio family member in just over 2 weeks.

So....I noted V's closeness to J4. J4 adores V. V will play with him, help him with his homework, fixes him mac & cheese, draws with him, plays hide and seek, etc. I have started asking V to help take care of J4. I have pointed out how much J4 cares about V and follows him around. Tonight, I didn't even have to ask V to set the water for J4's shower. He did it for him, without my asking. I noticed they were sharing a blanket, watching TV. It was very neat to see.

Maybe V has a hard time bonding to adults, so I thought maybe I could help him bond to a little one. Maybe, having him responsible for someone else...can help him have hope. I know there is hope in J4, as it dances in his eyes. J4 still runs to his "daddy" when a scary part of a tv program is on....or if he just wants to sit in my lap. I think it is good for V to see that if J4 can bond to him and I...that maybe it is ok for V to bond to me. There isn't much that is keeping V from going over the edge to the "dark" side, except maybe a little 7 year old boy.

OK. Maybe I am grabbing at straws here, but I need something here!

[Kerbchek]

I am inspired and continually in awe of your never-ending love and dedication to your boys... I believe you do a fantastic job of orchestrating things to help your boys so much... whether they accept your generous offerings, assistance, advice, and love is up to them... but I absolutely enjoy reading your thoughts... you've been motivating me for years - I think your sneakiness is very cool.

[Lylac]

That is BRILLIANT!! It will make V feel needed, and hopefully make him want to do right..since his baby brother is watching him.. I SO hope this does it for him.

And maybe J4 see's the little kid in V..that V never got to be. Another thing is that V probably doesn't feel intimidated by him. Kinda like..he knows J4 loves him..just because...no pressure there.

I could be way off base..hope not tho.

[AmyAnne]

Perfect, Indy! My brother was 15 when I was born and he and I had a wonderful bond when I was a kid. I think this is good for V and J4 both!

[waited2long]

I think it's a terrific plan for both boys.

[lucyjoy]

Keep grabbing those straws until the right one fits.

[Original Mike]

That plan in absolutely brilliant!! I hope it works.

Mike

[Indy]

Thanks for the support!

Right now...V and J4 are drawing at the table and playing with clay. As soon as J4 hit the door, V was waiting for him. He helped with his homework and played Star Wars Force with him.

I hope this works!

[Indy]

I was straightening up with the cleaning lady this morning. On the table were some sketches. I was looking at them. In the upper right hand corner the following was written:

"To J4 from V", in V's handwriting.

I hung one up in J4's room and kept the other one for myself.

[waited2long]

Awwwww, that is so sweet!! It does seem like your plan is super!!

[ajjhmf]

Ah, that's great Indy.

[momraine]

I can tell you that it was great for P to have a little brother. He is choronologically only nine months to the day younger (dh tells people nine months and fifteen minutes, he thinks he is funny) but he is much younger in maturity and two years in school.
Before because of the age difference between her and my big boys she was always the little one and they were the big ones. Now, she is more often a big one. There is so much she can do that he can't. It helped her to be more reponsible. Now it did not help her bonding because he is always pushing her away and steals from her, so they are not bonded to each other at all. He has started bonding to the older boys though and they have a good relationship. S who was never close to P, is getting close to M. (he also suddenly realized P worships him and is trying to spend more time with her)

[Indy]

Today, I went to Wally World and bought a drawing set. You know the one with colored pencils, crayons, markers, water colors. I bought drawing paper too. The rule is that V has to get it down, as we don't want to lose any of the pieces.

J4 just went off to the shower. V just got the drawing set down. It looks like some J4 and V drawing time.

Where is the "smilie" that has tears of happiness? Not the hissy fit one!

[waited2long]

Gee and you bought it with Christmas this close? My parents never would have done that!

What a terrific Dad, seriously, that was a really good idea.

[Kerbchek]

That's awesome...