[Brittany11]

I am a sophomore at a small college in Pennsylvania. I am currently doing a research project on child resiliency after abuse/maltreatment.
In my project, I have to conduct an interview with a foster parent who has had a child who has overcome abuse or maltreament and then went on to be successful.
I thought that this forum may be the best way to contact a foster parent who is willing to share their experiences. If you are interested reply to this post, or e-mail me at barleeslide@yahoo.com.

Thanks,
Brittany

[aspenhall]

What types of questions would you want answered? Do you take into account the severity of abuse/neglect?

[Bamamom07]

Please read "Trouble don't last always" by Shane Salter. Amazing book from a foster child who literally pulls you into the heartbreak that was his and is now so many others. A very successful man by all accounts now, yet he bears the scars from the ordeals in his life, and he writes very candidly in his book about them all. I cried and cried when I read his book.... it was his incredible pain, and also unbelievably similar to my FS's brother's life... and I cried for him as well. I cannot describe the amazement, joy, and sadness when an hour after finishing the book, our sw called and asked me if we would take brother (and 2 sisters) as their reunification with mom had just failed. Now I am so blessed...... and so humbled...... at being given these precious children we will soon adopt. Please read this book..... and ADVOCATE, ADVOCATE, ADVOCATE!!!!!

[Brittany11]

Thanks for your replies. My research thesis states "What impact do the factors of having a supportive relationship with a non-offending relative, individual characteristics that promote success in one's life and the social environment play in resiliency after abuse/maltreatment of children?"
I have done research on the topic and read about surverys that have been distributed to men/women who have been abused/maltreated. In this results, it does appear that there is a correlation between the severity of the abuse/maltratment and the impact it has on thier lives.
Thank you for your input, I greatly appreciate it.

Brittany

[Kerbchek]

I think the severity of the abuse would definately be a factor. I also think the duration of the abuse would be important. Along with duration, I think how early in life the abuse started would also a major impact. Was the child abused from birth until age 10 when someone finally turned them in or were they abused once at age 10...

No matter how loving and caring the non-offending caretaker is after the abuse has stopped, will make as much of a difference with resiliency as the severity and duration of the abuse... just my thoughts anyway...

Good luck with your research. It sounds interesting. I found in college once I could study things I found facinating, I did much better... I would have enjoyed this project.

[Brittany11]

I'm finding the more I research the topic the more I am drawn into it. I have found many interesting studies that support exactly what you have said. I'm thinking of revising my thesis to incorporate the severity of the abuse along with all of the other factors I mentioned. Thanks for your input.
Brittany

[Barksum]

How are you defining 'going on to be successful'? Just curious as the term successful can mean different things to different people.

Does success mean that the person:

• is not dead?
  
• has a college education?
  
• is self-supporting?
  
• has long-term personal relationships that are not destructive to either party?
  
• earns more than 80K per year?
  
• graduated from high school?
  
• is a productive member of the local community?
  
• has avoided incarceration?
  
  ___________?

In talking with various people about just this topic it amazes me that there are so many stereotypes regarding children raised in foster care, and that the way that success is determined is often different than the standard used for a person who was not placed into foster care. A child may be abused but never placed in foster care...so finding a level ground from which to determine who does better given what circumstances can be difficult. In other words, how do you find a level playing field from which to begin so that you can draw generalizations?

Dh was a foster child who aged out. I would classify him as successful. There is no open discussion of his childhood, though. The foster parents with whom he lived the longest are now deceased, so unavailable for comment.

I don't know about the foster children we had in our home. We no longer have contact with them.

[aspenhall]

I myself was moderately abused physically, and massively abused emotionally for my whole childhood, had relationships with non-abusive relatives and never entered foster care (though CPS was called twice)

I consider myself successful, but not without scars and issues. Having relationships with non-abusive relatives, just made my situation feel more hopeless, since none of them seemed to be able to rescue me, even CPS left me in that situation.

My daughter suffered nearly zero abuse, but mounds of neglect in nearly every facet of the first 4 years of her life, and she too may always bear those scars, but after 4 years of intensive parenting, she has been able to overcome her old tools and coping mechanisms for the most part. She'll always need to be aware of the instinctive reaction to some situations though. And conciously choose the healthy path to deal and cope, rather than what comes naturally to her or is easiest.