[kay]

You guys are probably as sick of reading this as I am of writing it! Last night C didn't come home until sometime after 12:30 (when I went to bed.) Got up this morning about 6, to find P sleeping on C's floor. This is a kid who C says is 17; C says his dad has thrown him out, and he is sleeping "with friends". I have told them both, flat out, that he is not to sleep here. And last time I caught him, I warned him that the cops would come next time. So this morning I called the cops, and sometime in the last 5 minutes before they got here, he bailed out the window. C of course claimed he'd been asleep and had no idea P was even there. What? He climbed in your window after you were asleep? Give me a break!!! Anyway, they are going to run this kid's name; they thought they might recognize it, and he's probably 18, not 17. On Monday I will call DCFS (as my counselor suggested) and the probation officer - and demand an appointment with the officer, SOON! It's not doing C any good at all to keep getting away with this "stuff" (you know that's not the word I want to use!)

[lucyjoy]

Since he's been assigned a curfew by the court, can't you call the police if he is not at home by then? The police should pick him up if he's out passed the court ordered curfew.

Sorry this continues to be an issue.

[Lorraine123]

But he did get away with it - he was out past curfew and nothing happened. You will see it happen again soon I would think because he saw no consequence. Don't know if you can "get" him for breaking curfew if he isn't caught at the time.

[ajjhmf]

I've gotta agree with Lucy and Lorraine here. As hard as it is, I would advise calling the cops the moment he breaks the court ordered curfew. I'd also leave a message with his probation officer everytime he violates it as well. That way, even if the police don't do anything, the courts will be forced to.

[MamaS]

How is C able to come in after curfew? I would put a deadbolt on doors and alarm or lock the windows. At curfew time I would set the alarm and lock the deadbolts. Then I would call the police and leave a message that he is out after curfew and if they pick him up NOT to bring him home, but to take him to holding. I would also leave a message on his CW's email or voicemail regarding what you did. My daughter slept in the car for a few nights before she realized that I meant midnight and not sometime before one A.M.

[Original Mike]

I thought C was given his curfew by the judge. If that's the case, you need to lock the house tight at the specified time and then call the police to inform them that he's in violation of a court order. That's pretty cut-and-dried.

By having no consequences for his actions, C is learning nothing from this except that he can beat the system. I can tell you that our local juvie judge is no-nonsense. He has frequently locked kids up for curfew violations and even chronic truancy. Sounds like something is just not clicking in your juvie court system.

[aspenhall]

I agree with everyone, lock the house and call the cops....

[aMarylandfamily]

We are never "tired" of hearing from you nor what you write - we are here for you! Know we care and understand!!!!!

[momraine]

ditto on the not getting tired of it! I am sorry things are so tough right now. I know that sometimes the advice you get here may be right, but it's sure hard to follow through when you love a kid so much and you get so worn out from the fight. Keep posting, we are here.

[lovemy6]

I wish I had a group like this for support when I was going through this. They are all right, you need to hold C accountable by calling the cops and letting them deal with C's choices. It's better for C to learn the consequences NOW as a juvenile than later as an adult. Hopefully he'll be like my kid and learn his lesson so that he can turn his life around and be a responsible, mature adult and not a criminal. Otherwise....

I know tough love is hard. Seeing my kid in handcuffs taken away, seeing him brought into court in an orange jumpsuit shackled, seeing the judge hold him responsible for his actions were all the hardest things I've ever gone through in my life. And if you ask my son now what changed HIS mind around, he'll tell you it's all the above.

(((((((((hugs))))))))))))) from one who has btdt and hopes never to have to again!

[aMarylandfamily]

When we went through a similar situation years ago with our first placement we did it alone - family and friends just could not understand how we were allowing our ds (age 12) at the time to be processed through the courts after attempting to blow our home up and commit suicide for accounting for his criminal action as well as be placed in residential treatment and then when we encountered the need for a disruption of a placement which was just as serious, not legally though, this board was in motion and the support and caring helped me (and still does) more than words could ever begin to express and I can only hope that all the members here know how much support will be here if ever needed and how much appreciation for the support offered from simple things to more major ones really does mean.

Thanks again everyone and again - Kay - we are here for you today, tomorrow and all the time thereafter!

[Kerbchek]

I'll be interested to hear what comes of the meeting Monday...

I'm not tired of hearing about it... keep posting, but I'm quite sure you could think of better things to do...