[ajjhmf]

Okay, my dear forum friends, help me with this one.

J has decided that rules just don't apply. Oh, he won't break any that concern his safety or the safety of others, but anything else is free game. For example, today he...

...got in the neighbors sprinkler after I specifically told him not to.

...decided to play with a kid half his age who we have placed in the off-limits category. He knows this. He did this twice, both times shocked I told him to go find something else to do.

...used the center seat belt to 'fish' from the back seat of the van to the middle seat, nearly clocking H in the head. We aren't allowed to play with seat belts in the car, period.

...repeatedly slammed his sister's bedroom door when I told him not to. It doesn't close right now.

...showered this morning with the curtain OPEN. Yes, we had to make that a rule too since apparently common sense wasn't winning out.

I'm tired. So very tired of this. It's constant. We give consequences for everything and honestly, I'm tired of thinking them up.

He leaves tomorrow for his grandparents (for 3 days after them taking 10 days to get back to us and shortening their original offer of a week ) The break will do me some good and hopefully let me recharge enough to deal with him for the back to school madness that is starting.

Sorry, this is part plea for advice and a vent. It's just been a very, very long day.

[lucyjoy]

Must be rules out the window day!

Wish I had the answers. Only one I have for that is time in time so you can make all the decisions he's having trouble with.

If that doesn't work, eat chocolate and drink heavily.

[lovemy6]

LOL, I was gonna say time-in. I like the drinks and chocolate idea too

[Lorraine123]

Yep - mommy time is in order.

[AmyAnne]

On the slamming the door....

Our consequence is you must open and shut the door quietly however many times you are old. If it doesn't work on that door, make him do it on a different one!

I agree. Mommy time, followed by chocolate and alcohol once kiddo's asleep

[Kerbchek]

Originally Posted by ajjhmf

...showered this morning with the curtain OPEN. Yes, we had to make that a rule too since apparently common sense wasn't winning out.

We had to make this a rule at our house too... I didn't realize what was going on until it got to the point where now I'll need to replace some drywall... arg!

It does sound draining - I really have no advice, but I really hope you enjoy your three days off...
Woo Hoo!!!

[Bippette]

It sounds like maybe he's needing some attention. I have a child who needs alot of attention, and if she doesn't get it the good way, then she's gonna get it the bad way.

How about you or your husband trying taking him out for a movie or something fun he likes to do.

P.S. I know it goes against the grain to reward when they are messing up so much, but really this is the only thing that fixes it for my daughter.

[crick]

Do you give a consequence for each and every offense? Just wondering if it's part "little boy" and not all "let's push Mom's buttons".

Little boys are not known for common sense and certain things just really appeal to them regardless of the rules. Kids just do stuff, yanno?

Could you maybe decide on 3 "minor" things a day you will not consequence for and allow him to feel like he's getting away with a bit? This way you are in control of what he gets away with, kwim? Plus, then you'll have 3 less battles a day and 3 less consequences to think up.

[Kansas Girl]

mommy time sounds like a good idea.

Is he doing all this just to see if he can get you going? Is it a test? A lot of times with R when he would start this type of behavior we would just ignore it and remain very, very calm - still loving, but detached. When he figured out that he couldn't draw us into his chaos the behaviors stopped. Later on, he remarked how no matter what he would do, no matter how badly he would misbehave, he knew that we still loved him plus the calmness was really good for him, and that went a long way towards his healing.

wine and chocolate also sound like a good solution.

good luck
Fran

[aspenhall]

I think you need to play along with the ODD....Declare it "opposites day" and give him a dose of his own medicine....keep asking if he's done with the game...or tell him to shower with the curtain open, go in and open it up if he closes it...keep telling him to do all the things you know he'll do anyway...

When he's tired of the game, you can go back to "normal" rules apply day.

[SAHmom]

Hugs sent your way!!!