[lucyjoy]

Had my son home on pass to meet with the DMH worker.
When I took him back, I told the woman in the office that the case manager was NOT returning my phone calls or the children's services workers phone calls. She gets on the phone, calls the CEO and tells him I have complaints. Okay, this is the ONLY time I've brought up an issue with them.

So, CEO gets the case manage, the office manager, the case managers supervisor and me into his office. He is a very intimidating man in the first place and immediately says, "Do you recall when you first came here and I told you to call me if you had concerns? You didn't do that." NO, I don't recall. I recall you screaming at me that I had 24 hours to get my son to you or his bed was gone and that it was somehow my fault the the stupid children's services worker never told me you had an open spot even though I'd called her 50 times?

Anyway, they are mad because I am planning to transition T to an apartment and that I do not have guardianship or intend to pursue it. T agreed to sign papers to indicate their ability to deal with me on matters. They said they had no release forms and no one had ever asked for any. Guess they don't follow hippa laws there.

They even think that my having guardianship will cause money to fall out of the sky to pay for placement somewhere.

Hello-I've talked to everyone I can find and there is NO funding. And the group home keeps telling me the agency I am already working with can place my son-buddy-they disagree.

I couldn't move the mountain so I went over it. I am mortgaging my paid off home and giving up my security, my sanity, and my time so T has a place to go. But that's not good enough because it's not a group home. They think it's terribly alarming that T will be giving himself his meds. Hello-he does that when he's home We ARE putting things in place to make it easier and help him remember and OH, I'll be by once a day at least to check on things.

Granted, if I don't have guardianship, he's not required to accept help from me. He's welcome to go it on his own entirely-in fact, I'm hoping at some point, he'll be ready to.

But it's apparent that I am in this ALONE cause there is NO team effort where the group home is concerned and no money where adult services is concerned so there's T's determination that he can do this, and there's me.

I now have to be concerned as to the group home's plan or ability to go around me and have a guardian appointed for T. That would be sad for him and likely land him in a homeless shelter or worse, a state hospital.

I did get the report I needed and T's been assigned a new diagnosis to go with his 18th birthday-anti-social personality disorder. It also indicates probable scizephrenia. Would have been nice to have 3 months ago when I asked for it so I could fill out his forms for medicaid and dmh services-but, i didn't call the CEO so my fault.

[EZ2Luv]

OH how freaking frustrating!! Thank God T has you or heaven knows where he would end up~lost in a scewed up system perhaps. I have been praying for you and T since your last thread about seting up his living situation. T is so very fortunate to have you. I know some bios who don't advocate for their kids much less mortage their homes. I will continue to keep you in my prayers. Something has to come together and work out.

EZ

[kay]

Still continuing to pray for you! I can feel your frustration, and I know you're going above and beyond to advocate for your son. Sure wish some of the folks "in charge" would start stepping up to the plate to help you, rather than putting up obstacles (and yelling at you???? PLEASE!!) Sounds like the Group Home needs a Group Visit!

[Lorraine123]

I'm confused - what do they want you to do? Give them guardianship? And then what?

[lucyjoy]

They want me to take guardianship and somehow find funding to keep him in the group home.

I get this "other families blah blah blah-other families didn't get Gov Idiot's slash-the state fiscal year started July 1. Let's see, he gave the agencies ZERO dollars for MMRD and the mental health dollars were allocated for autism so...

The want T permanatly in group home or residential care.
They don't think he can function on anything less. I think they're wrong.

I love the way they don't want to help but are first in line to let me know I'm doing it all wrong.

[ProspectiveSingleMom]

Any good group home would have the goal of helping their residents become as independent as possible. I've worked for two group home agencies and with clients of many other group home agencies, and I've NEVER heard of a home that tried to keep a resident whose family/guardian/sw wanted to try a less restrictive environment. If anything, my experience has been that the opposite is true -- residents are encouraged to move to less restrictive whether they are ready for it or not.

It sounds like this CEO is just in it for the money and doesn't want to risk having an empty bed for any stretch of time. Maybe the new laws limiting funding have him worried that he won't get that bed filled very quickly. I don't see how the group home would have any authority over a guardianship decision. Some of my former clients were their own guardians and were still able to recieve services.

[lucyjoy]

the group home does not feel my son can be independent enough to live outside a group home or residentail center and anyone who has looked at his paperwork agrees. However, the dmh worker talked to him and feels the apartment with supports is doable and worth trying. However, her agency also tossed my sons paperwork in the beginning.

This group home is mainly mmrd kids with severe psych issues-which fits my son. The therapist feels he functions at the level of a 10 year old. In some areas-that's correct, but not in all areas. And, he will have support in place for assistance. It beats a homeless shelter or a state hospital.

They also have reason to be concerned if the general population is safe if he's on his own. This, unfortuately, is also a valid concern-but, if son stays on meds, the risk goes way down.

Even if I wanted my son in one of these places, there isn't anyone willing to pay and dmh's backup option was a homeless shelter.

T told the dmh worker that living on his own was the most important thing to him-to be free. I think he's stable enough to try this.

[waited2long]

Oi vay! I'm so sorry Lucy. And that guy sounds like a real jerk!

I hope T learns well and quickly. With such a supportive mom, he has a good shot.

[bumblebeeskies]

Lucy,
Sorry you're going through this. It's too bad that Missouri is such a bad state for these problems. Here in Ohio, we have everything a mental health patient could ever need!

[crick]

Yikes...

Me thinks the CEO is on a power trip and needs a few BBMS. That's code for Big Bad Mama Sticks....

"you never called" = "I know I didn't manage your son's case properly, but it's your fault"

Don't let them bully you and keep reminding yourself that you have done EVERYTHING possible for your son. You are a good mom...don't let them convince you otherwise.

[mrsred]

/\ that is me praying for both you and T, asking God to watch over him, keep him functioning at an acceptable level.

How can a homelss shelter be preferable to an apartment all set up with someone that loves him checking in on him daily? I am confused.