[shy_bear]

I totally feel overwhelmed lately. We just moved two months ago so I have no support or anybody to help me out. My husband works sometimes up to six days a week and he leaves before the kids are awake and gets home when our youngest is in bed. We decided to hold off adopting again, thank goodness!! A. has so many appts., he will now have to have the casting on his legs. We were told he will have to completely learn to stand and walk again. He is having tubes put in his ears. I can't really leave him with anyone even if I wanted to b/c he falls ALL the time!! As his speech therapist says he is very scarey!! Any suggestions???

[lucyjoy]

Sounds like you have your hands full. It's hard to get use to a new place. That doesn't sound like a very helpful comment from the speech therapist. Anywhere you can take your son outside or for a drive to see what's around where you live? Sorry, I don't have any good suggestions.

[aspenhall]

I'd hit the library and see if you could make a few friends there....start getting a base of support together..

[momraine]

Maybe you can contact churchs or synagogs and see if there is a mops group (don't know how old your child is) at least then you can meet up with some other moms. Also maybe see if there is an adoptive or foster support group you could join. Maybe you could make up some cards and give it to the speech therapist or PT or someone who see's other kids, they can't give you other mom's phone numbers because of hippa, but if you make cards or fliers inviting other special needs kids, moms to call you, maybe you can start your own support group. Once it gets going, you might meet someone who could handle babysitting for you, especially if they also have a difficult child that you can babysit.

[nikkianni]

Some areas have groups of seniors who volunteer to watch little ones while you grocery shop, do housework, decompress, etc.
We have a couple of these groups around here. Maybe something like that?
I know what it's like to have a spouse who works 12 hour days six days a week and to feel like you're a single parent without having signed on for the duty.
So sorry!

[mrsred]

If you havent found a church there, start looking. When we first moved here, I was feeling pretty much the same way. After the first month of going absolutely nuts, I found a church that we all liked. Within a few months we had more friends and support than I ever had before. There are even members of our new chuch that have also adopted special needs children! Now we have a group of women that meet at my home every Tuesday. It started as a Bible study, but is now just a chance for a bunch of us to get together and vent. Besides having friends to unload on, I know that if I ever need anything, I can count on anyone of them.

[waited2long]

You might try hiring a "Mommy's Helper"...

Having someone else around the house to do the cleaning, laundry, etcetera could help relieve some of your stress. It would also give you more time to spend with your son.

[TxMom65]

I also recommend the church. Just an hour or so of being with other people makes a difference.

My husband works odd hours and at times I feel like a single parent. It drains me of all my energy. I hope you can find some time to yourself, even if a few minutes per day.

[momraine]

The mommy's helper thing is a possibility, but to find one may be hard. I did that a lot as a teen, because I had a special needs brother and was not easily frightened of special needs kids, I got hired a lot. Some families I could tell were so frazzled I did not charge. One woman had severa FAS kids she had adopted. I remember one year I watched them a lot while she went to court trying to adopt one of them. I had to get some special training and a background check before I could watch her kids that were not adopted, but I was watching her adopted kids for months before I did that. If you can find a teen who volunteers in a children's ward at a hospital or a children's hospital or has a special needs sibling they might be willing to be a mothers helper for you. At first you can stay home and do things like laundry and then when you are comfortable you can run to the store. Also check colleges for students who are studying things like PT, OT, ST, early childhood, nursing, etc.

[jbee]

i also agree on the church. just look until you find one that you feel comfortable in, and that is good for your kids where they are not judged.
we have found some friends at church and become close. i think if its big enough there is someone there who you will have things in common with and that you can trust.
our agency isn't really much help, the other fp are alot older than us and most are related to each other, so we are out of the loop. we had to find our own support network.

[jessnboys]

You might try looking for ARC or another place that helps adults with disabilities. They usually have a group of parents with children who need extra care. We get together once a month officially, but have an extensive phone tree system We actually have a group of teens we specifically trained to babysit our children. It's hard to know who to trust, especially being in a new town! Hang in there.