[Tudu]

I am livid. I have not invited 2 of sisters and mother to my blog b/c they are so negative towards our parenting. In March, I finally decided to stop begging for them to accept us and moved on. I have not called them or emailed them since. They found my blog and have sent me nasty emails being extremely hateful. My dearest sister, Kiki, insisted I take the high road and respond politely so they can't continue to be nasty to me. I did just that. I was so impressed with myself for apologizing for any misunderstanding and told her how happy I am for her latest addition. She never responded. What she did do is passed my blog around to other family members. I can see them all reading every page and spending hours on it. It is creeping me out. I am trying to be a good sport about this but I feel violated. I have so many regular readers that going private would mean taking only about 1/10 of the people that read it. I know it is out there for the world to read but somehow I feel stalked by my family. I have tried to be welcoming to them on there and invited them to comment but nothing.

[crick]

That stinks! I love to blog and do like to have some kind of control over that aspect of it eventhough it is public on the net.

My suggestion...blog about it. lol. Seriously...If they are going to read it and you don't want to make it private, then the power comes from you dictating what they read.

If you want more privacy though, you might consider setting it up where everyone has to sign in to read and have like an ip check. Maybe they'd be less inclined to read it if they know they are being tracked?

[Tudu]

I did tell them they were being tracked openly on my blog. LOL A new reader thought I was talking to her b/c she had read the entire 2 1/2 yrs practically overnight. Poor woman.

[aMarylandfamily]

Hold the high ground and write an entry about them, their misunderstanding of some of the parenting techniques it takes to handle the day to day responsibilities of special needs/older children adoption noting your acceptance of them and their decisions - speak positively about them (don't let them control you) and your hope that one day they can be part of your world - ignoring the parts they have disagreement with and hoping they'll join you on the high ground (probably wordy but hope you get the jist of my thoughts).

Don't go private - then they have won - that way they won't be involved with someone who is a good parent who does what it takes to make the difference in your chidlrens worlds!

[TxMom65]

Nobody understands until they have lived it. I lived it with only one child, I can't imagine a large sibling group.

[Tudu]

TX, you hit on one of the issues I had with my family. Most people cater a bit towards a new mother of an infant. They are not sleeping, showering, or eating with one new child. I had added 6, by choice, but I still wasn't eating, sleeping, or showering and they expected me to tote the kids around to meet them or spend time with them. I remember one night in chat I was begging for ideas to get the grocery shopping done b/c my kids were a complete freak show in public. I had absolutely NO support from my family, they all lived within 30 minutes of us. Not one offer of assistance to shop, let me take a nap, food, or even company. One of my sisters has 3 kids and she is never expected to go anywhere or bring an item b/c she has so many kids to handle and her's are very well behaved. She is the only person in my family that will participate with us and understands how crazy THEY are.

Thanks for listening, I just can't really go off on my blog like I would have in the past.

[aspenhall]

What about making the blog comments be approved by you first?

[missw005]

I finally decided to stop begging for them to accept us and moved on.

Oh, Tudu, I am so sorry.
Lord knows I can relate, as I have cut off my family due to their inability to understand the boys' issues and accept and love them despite them. It is very frustrating, and heartbreaking - to you, my friend. I am there in my life, and it is not fun.

I'm with the others - blog about your struggles with family members who CHOOSE not to understand, learn, accept or love your children unconditionally. How inane and frustrating it is. (and perhaps some links to professional websites so they could learn more? hint, hint, family members!!!!)

Are they making comments on your blog? That would be the icing on the cake for me. Heck, what am I saying? My mother regularly writes columns about me and my children, my parenting, etc. - and it's a very small town, so most people KNOW it's about us. It is frustrating, and sometimes embarrassing - but I remind myself that she's putting family issues out in public, not me. So she is embarrassing herself. (not that it hasn't stopped friends and community members commenting to me about it!)
Can you block them from making comments? I know them reading your blog feels stalkerish, but at least you could keep them out. Can't you block their email address?
As for them reading......as much as it bothers you, I agree, making it private lets them win. You have nothing to hide, nothing to be afraid of, nothing to be embarrassed about (except your family! ) - so if they don't like it, too dang bad. And maybe, eventually, it'll get through to them about the reality of your world. Will they really "get it"? No, probably not............but a peek into the window of your world may be doing more good than you realize.

Again, to you, girl! I'm sorry you're going through all this crap with your family. You deserve better, and so do your kids. (maybe that's why this happened, so you would remove them from your lives to make it better for you and your children?)

Everything happens for a reason, like it or not, and eventually everything becomes clear why it happened.

We all love ya! And support you always, no matter what you choose.

Sandy

[waited2long]

Sheesh, Tudu! I just want to add my hugs!

[crick]

If it helps at all, I can leave some nice comments for them to read. LOL!

And I mean nice as in "Crick's Nice"

[mrsred]

tudu, I sat here and read a whole bunch from your blog. first off, I just have to say, you are an amazing woman, and your children are beautiful. Your love is so apparent. Even while you are describing events that would send the average person running for the hills, the love you hold for your children shines through.
I thought the entry you made directly to your family was perfect. You were kind, and open. there is nothing more for you to do. They will either get it or they won't. If they don't, it is their loss, as they are missing out on a relationship with one incredible woman.
God bless you and keep you.

[Tudu]

Thank you, mrsred. I am feeling so much better about them, I am moving farther and farther away from their drama, emotionally. I hope they choose to try someday but I am not going to continue to beat myself up over their choices.