[lucyjoy]

Okay, it's become apparently clear that my 18 year old son cannot live on his own without supports and that the DMH has no money, and that anyone looking at my sons paperwork thinks he needs adult residential.

So, if my son wants independence of any kind, I have to make a plan for him, financed by me, and have it ready whenever children's services decide to kick him out of their side of things.

So, I'm looking for property near me as I will ned to do a great deal of teaching for the first 5 years. Looking for creative funding options as well. Ideas are welcome.

I'm also trying to think of all the things my son will need for this to work. He'll need his medicaid continued which has been applied for. He is signing releases for people to give me information so i can help set up his mental health care and look for transportation options(we have no public transportation). I will apply for his SSI when his subsidy is gone(right now, I've started saving subsidy money to use for housing etc until he gets SSI)

Trying to think of things he could do to keep occupied, socially appropriate so he can have friends, and maybe to earn income at some point.

I've considered finding a room mate for T as well but not sure how doable that is. Besides being somewhat hard to live with, he's easy to take advantage of as well.

What else?

Anyone else have kids who aren't going to be completely independent? Our Gov. cut all of the funding for MMRD and sliced a good chunk off mental health.

The plan is for me to handle most things at first and gradually teach him to handle things himself. He can learn but has bad short term memory so has to do things long enough to get to his long term memory.

I actually have a 20 year old that is not successful at holding a job either. Too bad these two hate each other cause if they could share expenses life would be easier(especailly for me).

Suggestions and ideas welcome.(for creative funding and the independent living project)

[kay]

For creative funding, what about applying for a grant? I don't know a lot about this, but I understand they are available. I have a friend who writes grant applications, if you like I can check with her and see how horrible the process might be (and the likelihood of success!) Let me know.

[waited2long]

Instead of looking at property, could you look into putting a trailor in your yard? It would be much cheaper and much closer.

Other than that, I have no ideas. I truly think our healthcare system is beyond lousey.

Good luck

[Tudu]

I think getting him a roommate would be helpful if YOU chose the older responsible roommate. I know there are grants available and I will ask our AT about them this week b/c he has asked me if I wanted to know about them. I have heard of other folks having their adult children close to them on their property but that would be scary if they are aggressive in any way. Are you close to a state line, maybe the services are better in the next state?

[lucyjoy]

All grant information is welcome. Putting him on my property isn't a good plan and because I live in a flood plane, could actually cost more then buying cheap property.

[aspenhall]

Putting a "camping trailer" on your property wouldn't matter would it?

[ProspectiveSingleMom]

Have you contacted any agencies in your area that provide community-based assistance? Some own properties that they rent specifically to individuals with cognitive delays or mental illness. I believe they are cheaper than "regular" apartments/homes, and having a roommate would be a possibility. They do have eligibility requirements, but your son would not have to be recieving services from the agency in order to rent from them.

[EZ2Luv]

What about applying for Section 8 housng? I know there is somewhat of a wait for it n some places but at least to get him on the waiting list. Also I don't know how much time you have to set all this up, but where I live there are people with mental illnesses living idependantly but there are like 3 or 4 of them living in a house. Would that be a group home? I know that these young adult go out on all kinds of social events and they go to a day program every day too. They all seem so happy and responble. I am not certain that this is the type of situation you are trying to avoid when you say residental.
Another thing too is if he does end up with a Section 8 certificate, he can always rent from you.
I am not sure what type of services your area has available, but here they have apartment building specifically for people who fall in this catagory. They are low income and go by how much your income is. I think it is like 30% of the monthly income and that includes all utilties. I am trying to brainstorm here, but I live in MA and I know there are so many programs set up for these situation.

EZ

[waited2long]

How about a houseboat? Just joking. Yeah, I can see how being in a flood zone would make setting up a trailer difficult. I'd hat to have the constant worry of whether or not the trailer were going to float away.

I hope you find a Grant that works out.

[lucyjoy]

I've talked to all the community based programs that use this type of housing. There is no money and quite frankly, t's paperwork scares them. If there were money, he could be considered for those programs.

I need to investigate the section 8 housing and see if he could qualify for that and get him on that list. I did get some info on that from legal aid.

I'm not oppossed to a group home housing situation but the cost again is not doable.

As for the trailer-the flood zone requires new buildings/trailors to be built above flood level requiring expensive land surveys and lots of extras.

[xxsurroundedbyxy]

We have what is called Abilities Unlimited and people like T are taught skills and do some "work" to earn a paycheck. Many of them have aides. I have not been in need so I am not sure how it works.

I do know that we have Section 8 here and some newer aprts built are sect 8 apts. My grandmother lived in one and the rent was based upon her income and her income was medicare/SSI. She had just enough left over each month to cover her groceries, phone, utilities, and a few rxs that were over her medicaid limit per month. My mom helped with any extras like new sheets, pillows, clothing, etc.

Does he qualify for food stamps?

Kim

[RavenSong]

Lucy, I may have asked this once before, but I don't remember the answer. Do you have any Board and Care homes in your area? These are private residential homes that board mentally ill clients. Usually the SSI check covers the cost of room and board. It might be worth checking into...

[lucyjoy]

No, I have not been able to locate anything like that. I've really researched and had other agencies research and thanks to Gov idiot here in Mo who hacked all the programs to death, there is no money. T's best shot is for us to find a cheap enough place to buy that he can live in and us teaching him what he needs to know. I've been at this for 9 months now and have 4 agencies helping but there just isn't anything thank's to the stupid Gov.

Just going to have to find a creative way to fund this project.

[ajjhmf]

I think you are on the right track for getting T independent given what your Gov. is doing. Hopefully things will turn around after he's voted out, but you obviously can't wait that long.

Are there any factories in the area where T could get a job? Something with shifts and rote work. That might give him an option for employment.

Knowing what I know about T, I'm hard pressed to think of solutions for you. Is there anything he likes to do that you could turn into an occupation for him? Something he could make and then you could sell on eBay for him. just a thought.

Sorry you are going through this.

Jenny

[lucyjoy]

Talked to my son's group home today. Seems the darling child quit his workshop job and has been booted back to house 3 because, as his worker put it, he can be lazy there.

I was not so nice as this is NOT in his best interest. I told her he has to be ready to be on his own sooner rather then later. I suggested she remove his "fun" until he figures that out. Nope, she can't do that. If he meets levels, he gets privledges.

Great. My feeling is the group home is now doing more harm then good and I should just go get him. DH has a cooler head then me and says we're not ready and need to wait. Talked to realator about seeing the properties I found but now he says owner wants to clean them before showing them. I don't have time for game playing and have little tolerance for it anyway.

So, since I have not come up with any creative fundraising ideas, guess I go the borrowing route and see if I can convince a bank I can afford another house. That leaves the cheaper work project house out of consideration but there are two that might qualify for loans. ugh-I didn't want to go this route.

Someone save a spare room for me to live in in my old age cause I will be dirt poor and homeless myself by then.