[stevenstwin]

He misses us and wants to come home. He was struggling not to cry. He says he wants his family back. I don't feel that is an option at this point, but did indicate my willingness to re-connect. I honestly DON'T think my husband is going to want to do so, but Austin seems to acknowledge that, as well. He says the three of us should sit down and have a long talk. Trouble is, I don't think he's really willing to take ownership for the hurtful things he has done, and wants to just pick up where we left off, which will be tough. also, no willingness to fix the current lifestyle problems (drinking, blowing off school, and hanging out with questionable friends). His attempt to address that one was to say that he would go ELSEWHERE to party if he lived here. SO, basically I told him that I'll give him as much support and help as he's willing to take to make living on his own work, and maybe we can spend the summer working on re-building things. I also bought him breakfast and gave him $20 so he can buy some milk and cereal and do his laundry
He MIGHT have been hinting for money - I'm not sure - but I was very frank about the fact that I'm rather broke myself at the moment. He also asked if he can come to my 9 year old's birthday party next Saturday.

[lovemy6]

Sounds like he didn't realize what he had till it was gone. I bet it took a lot for him to say what he said.

Has he set goals for himself? Maybe that can be a place to start. How can he support himself independent of you.

Good luck rebuilding your relationship. Parenting young adults is so hard!

[waited2long]

Well, it's a step in the right direction.

I wish you the best in your efforts to help him come back to the family (in his heart, not physically), yet be a responsible adult as well.

[SAHmom]

For what it's worth, I think you are doing the right thing by going slow and rebuilding the relationship. I also think you said just the 'right' words!

[aspenhall]

AWESOME JOB!!!

Being on his own, doesn't have to mean, NOT being part of your family...explain that you'll function much like training wheels on a bike, he still has to pedal and balance, but you can make it a bit easier.....but if he doesn't adjust his balance when the training wheels indicate, he'll still fall and crash.