[Original Mike]

Well, it's been over a month now since the boys left and it is so strange around the house. Just being the pets and I, its almost eerily quiet. Even the phone doesn't ring more than once a day.

I AM SOOOO Bored!!! With gas skyrocketing, I have cut back on my usage. With the current property tax delays here, some of my government clients aren't going to be able to pay my bills until the tax money comes in this fall, so I've had to do a little cost-cutting. (Of course, it will be nice when those checks arrive at once!)

I never understood how people could be thrown for a loop when they became empty nesters, but now I do. I feel like I'm just vegetating. I'm reading some good books right now, I'm cleaning the house from top to bottom, and I've discovered the online game "World of Warcraft", which I'm rapidly becoming addicted to at night.

On the upside, C called me on Monday. i haven't heard from him since February. He asked "Where were you this weekend? I kept trying to call to wish you a Happy Father's Day, but the phone just rang (I don't have an answering machine). I even came over on Sunday morning, but there was no sign of anybody." I told him that Camilla and I had gone to Indy for the weekend, but I did appreciate him checking up on me. We're going to go out to dinner Saturday night.

Tonight, some friends of mine are taking me to see one of my favorite comediennes, Lisa Lampanelli. We've got great seats and it should be a great time.

[momraine]

I am sorry it's been a tough time for you. I am glad you have friends and I do count it as good sign that C called you. Maybe you can do some respite care or something. Meanwhile enjoy some time to do just what you want. Come here and vent anytime!

[nikkianni]

I haven't read a book in a year. I so miss it.
Try this: Empty out the fridge and cupboards of everything you like, leaving fridge door open of course, leave an empty roll on the TP holder, turn on every light and TV in the house, leave the front door open, fill the washer and dryer, but don't empty them, and it'll seem like they're back again.
And you'll remember why it was kinda nice when they left.
We're on the opposite end of the spectrum, but when my parents took DD for the weekend and DH was off on a trip, I spent all day Saturday watching Indiana Jones, Star Wars (the good ones), Star Trek....all the movies I love but DH hates and DD is too young to care about.
Have you tried doing something like that? Sort of a celebration of all the stuff you put off before.

[kay]

Mike, it's good to hear from you, but I'm sorry you're feeling low. Take yourself over to the Big Lake and walk on the beach! (Ok, so that's what I'd want to do . . .)
Hope you find your smile soon - and I'm so happpy you heard from C! And that he still claims you as his Dad. You did a whole lot of things right! Thinking of you.

[zebramom]

Mike, you know I can fill your house up real quick.

You could jump in the car with us on the way to Boston and come hang out with a bunch of whacked out parents.

You could come hang out at my house and the 4 kids I'll have when I get back from Boston (well 3 kids and 1 technical adult).

Sorry you're feeling low. Been there and it just plain sucks.

You could always get a second job to support you SNPTF friends.

[aMarylandfamily]

... to let you know you are thought of more than not - we just don't post "where's Mike" messages so you feel like you have to post ...

While I keep saying I can't wait for the 'empty nest' know it will be an adjustment too - no one to follow after or bug or make noise as you say ... maybe a new puppy (wild and crazy) could spazz things up for abit ...

Keep posting - we are here for you!

[lucyjoy]

Zebramom is taking more kids?

Mike-we can all call you up on the phone(mike is now frantically working to change his phone number to an unlisted one.)

My soon to be 18 year old MR son needs a place to live-want a roommate?

Seriously, though, it is hard to know what to do when you've spent a long time parenting and extra hard when your kids leave the way ours do. I am glad C called you an hope he will continue to do so. I've been thinking alot about where my life turns now. Is there anything you have a true passion for that you pushed to the side?
The other thing I've been trying to do is to live in the present. Seems odd, but I've been so busy parenting and fighting the system and dealing with my aging parents that I rarely exist as just me. If it were just about you, what would you do today that would make you smile? Doesn't have to be expensive or cost money.

Anyway, sorry that you're feeling down and hope the feeling passes soon.

[Original Mike]

I have gone up to the Big Lake and it was wonderful. One of the nicest sunsets I've seen in a while.

A dog is out of the question. I'm not home enough and the cat would probably kill anything trying to move in on HER house. She's great company at night as she loves nothing better than to sit with you/lay on you while watching TV.

I have been working on some of my hobbies that I had neglected. I'm organizing my collections, playing some online games, and other such endeavors.

Thanks for the suggestions.

Mike

[aspenhall]

WAIT JUST A MINUTE HERE!

I'm lost, last I heard you were WELL on your way to becoming "Indy II" ....how on earth do you have an empty nest?

[lucyjoy]

How about trying something new-take a dance class, or join a gym or find things in your local paper that are happening in churches or community places and attend to see what they are. You meet lots of people and learn lots of interesting things. Take a college course-I found attending class with 18 year olds quite an experience.

How about a bowling leagure or Texas Holdem group or dominos party or something?

Throw a party for no reason.

Kburch is throwing mole fest in Oct in Az

(see, now Mike is busy making a Lucy dart bored and has something to do)

I know for me, getting myself to feel like doing anything that requires effort is sometimes hard. The less I do, the less I want to do.

[zebramom]

Not to highjack Mike's thread, but Z is installing a revolving door on the front of the house for the 6 respite kids that will be cycling through this summer.

[momraine]

Z- I sure wish you lived closer to me! When M was getting really bad a few weeks ago I was supposed to work VBS, and was running a station so I could not easily back out, but I was concerned about bringing M. (dh and older kids were out of town, but they came back early and M did stay home the last day) I really wanted to leave him with someone that week, but could not find anyone I could trust not to make it a vacation for him. I remember telling dh that all the people I knew who could handle him lived too far away!

[Lylac]

Sorry your feeling kinda lost The best way to find yourself is to make it ALL about Mike. Do what Mike loves to do (psst you can leave Betty outta this one ) Online games are EVIL! They leave you with no concept of time and make you extremely sleepy!

I'm glad that C was on the hunt for you on Father's Day And I'm glad that you two are communicating on some level

OHHHHHHHHH I just got a BRILLIANT idea. You can buy a winery, and all of the SNPTF can work for you

Hugs Mike!