[shavon]

Hello all,
My fds have been at respite since may 30th, my family is on vacation my son graduated from marine boot camp on june 6th he is only going to be home for 10 days before he is sipped back to camp pendelton in California.
here is my delima, (this is going to sound like I am cold and uncaring) I havent missed the girls at all, I dont even want to go get them from the respite provider, my son is only going to be home for a while ( he has been gone for 3 months) I just want to enjoy my time he has here, the girls have ALOT of issues, rad, ptsd, did, adhd, just to name a few and they require alot of attention and time. one rages for hours on end, the other just follows and asks lots of questions, we cant go any where for any length of time without at least one huge fit. aarrggghhh... what do I do?

please dont "flame" me I am just being honest, I feel bad enough with my self for not even missing them.

any advice, words of wisdome would be appreciated..

Shavon

[Lorraine123]

I totally understand. I have felt the same way. I don't know of anyone who would be excited about seeing another person who basically abuses you all day. We are human. The purpose of respite is to give you a break. Use it, take that break. Hugs to you.

[Robbin]

NO, you don't have to miss the girls and I don't blame you for not wanting to pick them up for now. I am validating your feelings . You give these girls everything you have 24/7 and you deserve a break. They are in good hands. Maybe, (just maybe) they miss you, and may realize what a wonderful mom you are. For them, absence may make the heart grow fonder. You absolutely have to have time to re-charge your batteries to help you get through the summer. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY! Whenever my husband and I get away (and that is rare!!!) we always talk about not wanting to go back, to stay an extra day, to make an excuse why we can't come back when expected. My best friend (adoptive mom to 6, birth mom to 1 all under the age of 13) and I always joke about going out shopping and never coming back. You know you will get back to your responsibilities, but you are ENTITLED to this time off. So stop feeling guilty and enjoy yourself.

[chickymum]

Will the girls be back when your son is home or after he leaves again?

[shavon]

I am supposed to pick them up on Wednesday, my son wont leave back out till the 17th I would love to have more time off while he is home but I dont know if I am allowed to go over my respite days does any one know how that works. I am sure I would be more happy to go get them after my son leaves back out but I just want to spend the few days i do have with him without the demands of the girls.
thanks to everyone for the support.
Shavon

[chickymum]

I think it is important for you to try to find a way to spend time with your son. It is just for a short time. Is there someone who could take the girls for you for that 6 days? It is just so important to maintain the relationship with the other members of your family otherwise you can start to become resentful of the girls and that is not fair to them. I hope you can get the extra break that you need.