[Bippette]

As a reminder, J had AML Leukemia when he was a freshman. We was granted a wish in the Make-A-Wish program. What he wanted was a shopping spree (they were poor) and a dog. So they got him a dog from the pound. Six months later, he was in remission. The day after they found out, his birthmom told him she was leaving for the coast to live with a man she met on the internet, and he was going to have to find another place to stay.

When she left, she took his dog with her because he didn't know where he would be staying and couldn't really take care of him.

WHen J came to live with us, that was one of the first things he told us. And that he really, really wanted his dog back. So I worked through Gpa to get the dog back this Christmas.

When his birthmom walked in the door of our house, she rushed to great the dog and says "Oh, Bo, have you missed me??? Do you remember me??? Have you been a good dog?"

She was clearly so excited to see the dog. And she took as many pics of the dog as she did her son.

I know they would have both given an arm and a leg if she'd greeted THEM that way. That sums up alot. I had to bite my tongue.

But I've been telling J that sometimes you can't get what you want (and what you deserve) from parents and the other people in your lives. And you can either stew about it your whole life, or you can get it from others around you. And I think that's starting to sink in for him.

It made me sad for him though. The hurt must run so deeply.

[skirbo]

Ouch. That's what is so hard for me in this situation with M. I have her ferrets that came to me because the new foster mom wouldn't allow them. I allowed her to give a pregnant cat a home and some rats.

I love animals myself and for a long time in my life my pets were the only reason I got out of bed every day. I thought that they would help motivate her to do well. Didn't happen. (It's working some for B, not great, but some.)

Now I have these pets and no M. I still have all of M's stuff. The therapist wants me to keep what pets I want to have and find homes for the rest-she doesn't want M to have the option of having them back. Turns out she was upset the foster placement let her get the ferrets last Christmas in the first place.

So I don't know what to do, for the pets or for M.

Sarah

[linda512]

It is so hard for these kids. THe rejection hurts so bad and they would do anything to make their parents love them. My sister has a 17 year old foster daughter who wanted to get her mother a mother's day present that would make her mother love her and appreciate her. It was so sad talking to her and trying to get her to accept what you are trying to get J to accept. They can't change who their mothers are.