[shelly b]

I had started a thread earlier about my daughter leaving me pee in a cup on the bathtub. I stated that I may have to return the gift. I in no way ment that I would pee in a cup and leave it for her. First of all there is no way I would even consider that and secondly I wouldn't feel that, that is a way to handle this. I was meaning I would literally return her gift by giving it back to her to deal with. I'm sorry I didn't make myself clear. The therapist did say ( the next day at her apt.) that having her clean up the mess was a good idea. I realize that she does have such a history of abuse and I feel so bad for her. I love her dearly. She is such a gifted young lady. She had her piano and flute recital today and she did a fantastic job!! I just want for her to find peace and happiness. She has a long way to go. She will be 15 this month and she is oppositional and defiant and has ADHD and bi-polar. I just pray that she will someday realize what a blessing she is and know how much her father and I love and care for her. Actually she has a large extended family that love and care for her too with many that keep us in their prayers. Sorry about the mix-up. I appreciate all of you and your input. I don't know what I would do sometimes if I didn't know that there were others out there going through many of the same things I am and that are willing to listen and help out where they can. Thanks so very much.

[Tudu]

I remember the thread, it was some time ago, right? I didn't think you were going to pee in a cup and give it back to her. I have said things on this site and people have misunderstood or jumped down my throat b/c I wasn't clear, it makes me worry every time I post that I might offend someone by accident. Don't worry, we all forgive and forget pretty easy in this area or all our kids would be buried in the back yard by now. (I have no intention on killing and burying my children nor do I believe anyone here has that intention.) Just do that every time you write something and you will be fine. LOL

[aMarylandfamily]

... for updating your post - didn't really think the words written were meant and yet as one who has been through the hoops with CPS having children who turned us in right and left for abuse which was never ever the case being I am a touch sensitive in warning if I even get the hint ... and quite honestly my initial thought was - give her a cup of it and see what she thinks ... and for information - the members here are great - we understand each other and watch out for each other's backs most of the time including saying "hey - that aint right" vs. assuming and then being sorry we haven't spoken and most of us don't take it to heart but use it for knowledge and experience ... so keep posting and know this is a great place to be even if ever misunderstood or questioning you and/or others - it is not you - it is the situation and as said - keeping everyone reeled in at times when it is hard to stay strong.

[shelly b]

I do understand and I am thankful that all of you care. I can use all of the help I can get and I appreciate all of you. I can understand when we are tired or typing fast or just state things in a way that doesn't sound right it can be confusing, but I am grateful that you take the time to ask the questions or give a warning, because I don't want people to have the wrong idea of what I might say nor do I want to not understand what someone else might mean. I do sometimes worry about posting at times, but I have noticed that we can really feel free to be who we are. No one can understand me better than those who have adopted special needs children. No one can know what we go through everyday than those who walk in our shoes daily. I am just so thankful that I have found a group that I can post something and more than likely someone will know just the word I need to help me through. Every time I read a post where someone is going through a difficult time so many people will post just to say they are praying for them or to let them know they are sorry and I think wow look at the support we can get from everyone here!!!!!

[aMarylandfamily]

Even though our adoption "journey" has come to a close, our parenting journey continues with our last child, age 16 (our infant adoption and our most challenging one to parent I do believe in some areas!) goes on and the wisdom and caring here with those who do understand these challenges is ever so valuable and so appreciated!

Looking forward to more from your end soon!

[stevenstwin]

I "got" what you meant in the original post! Please don't feel that you need to be defending yourself to a bunch of total strangers :-) You sound very comparing and compassionate, and probably just what this young lady needs....but I don't envy you some of her behaviour!

[aspenhall]

I absolutely LOVE the fact that the thought of actually giving her back a cup of your pee was even considered as a possible interprutation of your original sentence...

I'll admit...that's what crossed my mind when you said return the gift....but I never imagined you would seriously consider it....just one of those out loud wishful thinking type statements.....

Funny what becomes POSSIBLE and PROBABLE lines of thinking...huh?

I was thinking also, you could interprut it in a crazy way by saying, you appreciate the "sample" and went ahead and had it analyzed at the lab and come up with some outrageous results....either that or actually go have it analyzed.....hmmmmmm......

[skirbo]

I took it to mean, 'I hope you kept the receipt because I can't stand it and want you to take it back.'

Funny how people can read the same sentence and come away with different ideas out what it means.

Sarah