[zebramom]

T has requested a home pass. One of the rules about the passes there is that boys have to request them in writing, not just verbally. This is the first time he has made the request. We have been to the facility 3 times since he was admitted about 2 months ago, but it has always been on grounds, and I keep the visits 2 hours or less.

I made it clear to the therapist/social worker that I did not think a full weekend at home was a good idea. T has not been home since February when we discovered the sexual issues and the visit ended badly. I also told the therapist that to go from not leaving the grounds at all to a full weekend at home was a recipe for disaster. He conceded. I said that we would take him off grounds for a few hours in the area so we could return him quickly if need be. Again, he conceded. I also informed him that it would be on Saturday since he is so miserable to me on Mother's Day and I'm not going to let him ruin the day for me, nor am I going to do his first pass on a day where he is likely to "fail."

I have very mixed feelings about this pass. T has been doing well, but I am not getting my hopes up at all. He does well in extreme structure such as this facility, but he has been getting "DP" which is basically a time out, on a pretty regular basis. The facility's rules are quite strict and things like arguing with staff, having your pants hanging low, or calling another boy anything other than his first name can all earn you DP. Even having to return from school to his house (about 100 yards away) to retrieve forgotten material can earn DP.

So, with all that being said, we're trying to figure out what to do with him. The weather is going to be marginal, possibly rain and in the mid 50s, and we don't like doing things like shopping, because his sense of entitlement takes over and he expects us to buy him things, which ends up in an argument. We are going into a more "major" city since there is nothing to do close to the facility.

Thoughts, suggestions, concerns?

[waited2long]

Perhaps a movie, with the tickets purchased in advance so there can be no arguments about which movie?

Good luck, I hope it goes better than you expect.

[aspenhall]

a movie, maybe skating at a skate park or a roller rink....

[AmyAnne]

Bowling? Eat before you go at McDonald's?

[athikers]

I like bowling or some other indoor activity you can do together... chuck E cheeses or something.

[bumblebeeskies]

Skating, Zoo, Museum, pottery place where you make something

[mrsred]

Gee Zebra, I am really trying to come up with some great idea, but am not having much success. The problem with a movie, is there is really no interaction between you and him, so then what is the point? Museum? Wow, talk about the opportunity to embarrass you - a setting where people are expected to move through relatively quitely without touching things? Recipe for disaster. Unless it was something that is hands on. Like here, in the Seattle area is the Pacific Science center, where there are a lot of fun, hands on type of exhibits.
Bowling... maybe... but around here all the bowling alleys have areas with video games... video games lead to melt downs with E, but just saying know would lead to a constant argument.
A pottery place where you make something - my 12 yr ds would like that because he is an artist, but my 8 yr old would hate it, because he hates anything like that.
So it would depend on whether this would be something he would like or not.
A sporting event can be fun with boys.. but they usually last longer than a couple hours.
OH!! Do you have a zoo? Even in the rain a zoo can be fun, just bring umbrellas. At least the zoo isn['t as crowded when it is not great weather, pluys, most zoos have a lot of indoor exhibits too.
Yep, if zoo is a possibility that would be my vote. Or an aquarium.

[athikers]

Did you survive?