[hydroxybutane]

I'm sorry it has taken so long to post this update, but it's been wild around here.

R finished testifying..today! S and B testified on Tuesday. B started crying as soon as the prosecutor came to get her and she wouldn't let go of me. Fortunately the judge said it would be okay if I sat in the room with her, but I couldn't say anything....She testified via video feed and she was allowed to use dolls to demonstrate. It was very very hard and she was very upset. She is still very upset. Her dollies are getting quite the workout...she yells bad touch at them.. and acts things out with them

S was very quiet (surprisingly); she answered all the questions, but in a very monotone and low voice...She was very very blank..and she was very quiet until tonight. She started raging because her fork got knocked onto the floor by her sister..and the floodgates opened....she attacked her sister and had to be dragged off...She calmed down, but we cannot let her be around her sisters...if she even hears them right now, she goes towards them with fight in her face...Tonight she will have to be in her room with the alarm on

R is doing more or less okay..She testified for two days..in two hour stints..She wore my wedding ring and my hubby's servers cross...We had a lot of friends and family in the court room gallery and they spread out around the court room, so if she looked in the gallery, she would see someone she knows. R said that made it a lot easier..she could always see a friendly face.

My father cried when she testified about what had happened...R asked him later why he was crying (sort of men don't cry..which is funny, cause he crys at sad movies LOL..) and he told her..I cried because my granddaughter was hurt, and you cry when someone in your family is hurt and hurting. That made her cry

R has decided she wants to write a kid's book about going to court..and testifying...and it's going to be called "Today I had a voice". She said she is going to dedicate to all the kids too little to have a voice (like M), who can't talk, who are too scared...

Tommorrow, I have to testify... and then we have therapy...

Thank you all for your prayers...it meant so much to the girls, especially R....and it meant so much to me..

The trial is still ongoing, but is expected to conclude on Tuesday or Wednesday...then the jury is out..

[athikers]

Wow... you have three strong little girls. Especially your oldest who is able to go through this and already by looking outside herself to how she can help other children in her situation. You should be one proud mama!

[aspenhall]

I think you need to give some one on one time to S and give her alternative behaviors for when she's feeling that way....

[Luvbeingmommy]

Hugs and prayers. So sorry your girls are going/have gone through this. They are blessed to have you there for them. God bless you all.

[zebramom]

I can only begin to imagine what you are feeling right now. The girls are amazingly strong. I'm glad you have therapy in the works. They will certainly need it.

It is so good you live where you do because around here it would be a closed court room and you wouldn't have been able to have friendly faces in the courtroom.

That is so wonderful that R wants to write a book. If she can make something good come from this, that's awesome.

Hug the girls and tell them that all these mamas are proud of them!

[TxMom65]

I love the idea of a book like that. I can't imagine them going through all of that and THEN having to testify.

[hydroxybutane]

Yup..S is getting lots of one-on-one..She's home with me during the day because I'm homeschooling her..We're spending time talking about being angry..and how it makes us feel...and how we can do other things (mini trampoline jumping and bouncing and rolling on the physio ball so far have been the best non-destructive solution) Another one we're trying is nails in a board..My dad got her a little hammer and some nails and a board...And if she's feeling upset..she can go hammer nails into a board..So we'll see....It's so important to her right now to be close to me, without the others around.

[lovemy6]

I can't even imagine how scary it was for the girls. I get scared to death just GOING to court, even when I'm not tetifying. They are true heros!!!!!!!!!!

[aspenhall]

I like the idea of hammering nails, could she focus even further and actually build something......like a birdhouse, or new crayon/art supply box....something that give her a sense of worth and accomplishment. Could you let her bake cookies and take them to a hospital, old folks home, or women's shelter?

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by hydroxybutane

R has decided she wants to write a kid's book about going to court..and testifying...and it's going to be called "Today I had a voice". She said she is going to dedicate to all the kids too little to have a voice (like M), who can't talk, who are too scared...

God bless her. God bless all of you.

[mrsred]

hydroxy, I just thought of something a friend of mine has done, that may be very helpful for your girls right now. Take an old empty coffee can and wrap it in construction paper, labbeling it The God Can. Put the plastic lid on it, then cut a slit on the top so that notes can be slipped in through the slot. Any troubles, worries or fears that they feel are just to big and scary and they can't handle them... God CAN!!! They can write them down and put them into the God Can.
Once every week or two you can have a little ceremony where you pull the notes out and burn them. Don't read them aloud, they are private and personal, between the author and God.
Many, many prayers are still coming your way.

[MomwithFive]

<<She wore my wedding ring and my hubby's servers cross...We had a lot of friends and family in the court room gallery and they spread out around the court room, so if she looked in the gallery, she would see someone she knows. R said that made it a lot easier..she could always see a friendly face.>>

Oh, that is so good that this was there for her. I am so sorry your family is having to go through this. (((((HUGS)))))
Your family is in my prayers.

[momraine]

I will continue to pray for you guys, and she needs to write that book. Think about how many kids it could help! I would buy several copies to give to courts around here for kids to have. This journey is not over for you guys even when court is over so I will keep praying for you guys.

[chickymum]

Wow it must be such a relief for court to be over for the girls. I am very often thinking about you all and praying too. The girls are so lucky to have you, keep up the good work-I am sure that you will.

[hydroxybutane]

Closing arguements were today. Jury instructions and deliberations start tommorrow...

If guilty, the girls will be asked for victim impact statements, which can be read to the court to influence sentancing. R really really wants to do this...Hubby and I can also present one of behalf of the younger children.