[shavon]

The girls that I have were removed after a drug raid at grandmas house (they were living there). I knew they were removed due to a drug bust but didnt know it was grandmas house until today. last week the parents showed up with grandma argghhh, this brought up a lot of memories for the girls ( I new something was awry but didnt know what) now I know it was because they saw their grand ma again. Has anyone of you had parents that ask if other family members can come to visits and was it permitted? I just dont agree, the visits should be between the parents and child only but maybe I am just over reacting.
the girls were sexually abused and the parents knew about it and the stupid people were bringing the abuser to the visits with them and making the girls hug him good bye after the visits. sorry I hope I am not sharing too much I am just really overwhelmed at how much the case worker lets go..
any feed back would be appreciated.
Shavon

[aspenhall]

NO WAY...

Grandparents have ZERO RIGHTS....especially when it's the ABUSER they have with them

Also I'd go to the CW's supervisor over this one!

[chickymum]

Thats pretty bad. Poor kids, are they doing ok?

[athikers]

Teeter's grandparents have been permitted visits once a week all along. SEPERATELY from the parents no-less. His biofamily is all inseperably intertwined.

He is having visits with one set to rule them in or out as a permanency option... but that only became an issue this month... until then he was just having visits with them because "they wanted to see their grandbaby".

[shavon]

I am glad I am not the only one feeling this way, the parents just irk me sometimes. even at visits the caseworker allowes the mom to call her brother and others and let the girls talk to them. I think there has been so much damage done to these kids that the parents need to work on parenting skills and and interactions with the children.

Even one time at visits the original case worker couldnt be there so she sent a very young/pretty social worker to supervise, the dad was hitting on her the whole visit and totally ignoring the kids, and believe me when I say he was going to get no where with the cw, the best way to sum them up is that they could be the poster people for crack heads. they are both younger than I am and I am 30something, and they both have missing rotted teeth that I am sure is from use of drugs..

Thank you all so much for letting me vent. it is all just so sad...
Shavon

[hydroxybutane]

Hi Shavon,

No...if grandpa is an abuser (especially sexual abuser) he should DEFINITELY not be allowed to visit..That is serious! No way, no how...your poor fd's must have felt victimized all over again.

Go higher, and make noise

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by hydroxybutane

Hi Shavon,

No...if grandpa is an abuser (especially sexual abuser) he should DEFINITELY not be allowed to visit..That is serious! No way, no how...your poor fd's must have felt victimized all over again.

Go higher, and make noise

I agree with hydroxybutane. The abuser shouldn't be there.

But with my foster kids, grandparents are allowed to visit. In fact, any family can visit with the permission of the bio parents. I've had aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, etc..all show up for weekly visits. As long as these folks weren't abusers, it was fine. It helps the kids stay connected to their extended family. Since grandma was raising them, they are probably close to her so I can understand them wanting to allow her visitation. Also, I don't see any reason why they can't talk to aunts, uncles on the phone. It's their family (good or bad-it's still family). They have a right to maintain those relationships.

As for the missing/rotten teeth, maybe they don't have dental insurance. I think that was a pretty mean-spirited comment. I understand your frustration when bio-parents fail to protect and care for their children. However, these are your foster child's parents you are talking about. You don't have to like them but please remember that the kids love them. And they have every right to love them. So please don't say anything negative about the parents or extended family in front of the kids. It would just be heartbreaking for them.