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#1
05-05-2008, 11:22 AM
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So, this is it.... volume 2
I'm stealing a thread title from Mrsred since the topic is the same.
Though Teeter was not placed with us for adoption, we were asked several months ago if we would be a permanency option and we said "yes". He has now been sick almost none stop since that time and it has been very, very exhausting and eye-opening for our family. We've had to look at "what if" THIS is life with Teeter and the 6 months before that were not typical for him. What if he always hates food and what if he never breathes again without O2. We've always said we would decide whether to keep him based on whether we would feel comfortable parenting him forever if his level of need never changed. We decided today we cannot. No, not that we cannot, that we are choosing not to, which to me makes it even harder to take. Though we know we made the "right" choice for our family, it feels like a horrible choice, it feels like we failed him and we're causing this poor boy to lose the only family he knows at this time. Simply put, this sucks. We are not requesting his removal and we are hopeful he can go straight from our house to his adoptive home or foster-adoptive home. Meanwhile, we will continue to do our best to help him overcome his feeding aversions and continue to improve his breathing. We love this boy so much... so its so hard knowing that our love is not enough for us to make this work.  
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#2
05-05-2008, 12:07 PM
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Just PM'd you.
Teeter will be in my prayers!
__________________
Mommy to: "Zooster Girl" adopted at 1 1/2  Foster Mommy to: "G-man" placed at 6 months "Zany Girl" placed at 4 months
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#3
05-05-2008, 12:11 PM
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(((( Hugs )))) I'm so sorry.
__________________
Oceans "You are never given a wish without being given the power to make it true. You may have to work for it, however." Illusions - The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah by Richard Bach My Blog: http://roadtoreunion.wordpress.com//
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#4
05-05-2008, 12:38 PM
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Hugs
This post will fill within a few hours and do hope all the hugs and prayers and caring helps - it is so hard to have the courage that only a good Mom & Dad can have when they make this kind of decision ... out of the courage good things for this little one will come ... if we had crystal balls we could answer the why but since we don't we rely on faith and friends and family ... we are all here for you and all your family! Take care, hold tight and come here to cry - we understand!
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#5
05-05-2008, 12:45 PM
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Big Ole Hugs ath!! Only you and your family know what is right for ya'll. I know you love him, you've loved him through some really difficult times. Just keep in mind that you have/and still are giving him a great start and some stability in his little life...when he needed it the most.
__________________
Lylac  in  Momma to:  L 6yrs old  B 5yrs old A 2 yrs old J 3 yrs old..waiting on ICPC approvalYou can't change the direction of the wind..but you can move the sails Promoting Shaken Baby Syndrome and Special Needs Adoption Awareness http://www.myspace.com/msblaazer
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#6
05-05-2008, 01:43 PM
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Lots of prayers and hugs to you and your family.
__________________
 Pablo & Carlos' MamaTHE JOURNEY 11/29/05 Applied with agency/began paperchase 12/29/05 Home Study Completed 1/09-1/13/06-First visit trip to meet Pablo,age 10, and Carlos, age 6  Accepted referral.12/22/06-2/05/07-Fostered in Guatemala 1/11/07 Out of PGN after two kickouts 2/05/07 Embassy Appointment 2/07/07 HOME!!!!!!!!! 
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#7
05-05-2008, 02:27 PM
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HUGS to you.
__________________
Happily married for 9 years. Adoptive mom of 11 Year Old Austin  Finalized 12-08-05  http://amyanneclogs.blogspot.com/
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#8
05-05-2008, 06:31 PM
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We know some of the pain you are going through. (((hugs)))
__________________
The quickest way to get a child's attention is for the parent to sit down and look comfortable. I expected that there would be times like this - but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent. Pressure can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basket case. I used to have a handle on life, but it fell off.
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#9
05-06-2008, 11:35 AM
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Coming to such a conclusion is so very hard and heart-breaking. My prayers are with you and your family.
Sam
__________________
LambeauSam Proud mother of three boys.
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#10
05-06-2008, 04:55 PM
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oh, Ath, you know that I know what you are going through. My heart aches for you. You are in my prayers, as well as little teeter. The family that God has chosen for Teeter is out there somewhere, and He will bless you for all the love and care you have given to Teeter while his forever family was being made ready.
__________________
J, bio son: born Feb '96 T, adopted daughter: born July '96, adoption finalized Dec '06 E adopted son: born Sept '99, adopted November '05 C, foster daughter, with us for 10 months in our home, with us forever in our hearts born Sept '03, placed with us August '07, moved late June '08 [I"]Jeremiah 29:11for I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.[/color][/i]
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#11
05-06-2008, 06:01 PM
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adding my hugs and prayers, ath.
 Fran
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#12
05-06-2008, 07:14 PM
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You must do what's right for your family and for a time, you helped this child and his family by caring for him until his forever family is found. There's is nothing to be ashamed about in that. He was loved.
Kim
__________________
Wife to: DH-J for 5 yearsMom to: DS-H 14yrs DS-S 2yrsCurrent Placements: None- my little one going through terrible twos is also about to have a tonsilectomy. Ugh. If you have stories of success please pass them to me. If you have a horror story, please, I don't think I could handle it right now. LOL Former foster son came this past weekend for his birthday celebration and one last hoorah before school starts. I was happy to see him doing better. Former placements: four boys!! and FINALLY respite for one baby girl Aunt to: 11 Nephews......when does the male madness end! Mom for McCain 
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#13
05-06-2008, 08:48 PM
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Thanks everyone for your kind words and support. There have been lots of tears shed in our house in the past two days, it is very much like when we found out M & D were going to relatives. So, I know it will get better after a few more days and I will get on with the business of mothering him for as long as I have him while only crying my eyes out in the shower
We have another appointment with his ped on Friday, I am again going to push for a GI referral as we continue to believe that something bigger is going on with him. Hopefully, we can get some answers. My heart is breaking for this little man and for us.
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#14
05-07-2008, 05:56 AM
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Ath. I know this decision has been a long time coming, and I'm happy and sad for you that you've arrived. You've given Teeter everything you have, and that will be evident to his forever family. I hope you can get more of his medical stuff figured out soon, for all your sakes. my friend, you've made the best decision for your family and for Teeter. I'm sorry your heart is breaking, I've been there, and know that after a while, you'll come to peace with everything and your heart will know you've done the right thing. Hope the ped appt goes well Friday! Sandy
__________________
Proud foster mama of many;
Proud transracial adoptive mama of:
J, age 9, and Q, age 6-1/2
Still hoping for more kids.....
 Nellie (the cat), adopted stray
"Friends are the family you choose."
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