[Lorraine123]

Do you recognize your child's birthmother in any way on Mother's Day?

[AmyAnne]

I usually light a candle for her at church that day.

[aspenhall]

We usually send a card or a big ,long, newsy, email. 2 years ago we sent a big ol' video of about an hour worth of home movies of my dd, that ended with my daughter singing a mother's day song she learned in church. That was too much for S to handle and she pulled back in a major way. We've only gotten 3-4 emails since then. She said it was really hard to watch, but at the same time it was really good. Then she had a new baby (girl) and we really haven't heard from her since.

My dd never was in foster care, she was in a one week respite and CPS was monitoring the situation (S was overwhelmed). We have an Open adoption too (which is different) but I fully believe S has RAD...and that means little to no contact for her to feel comfortable. All I can do is let her know from time to time, that the door is still open.

Any craft or activity that is done at church, my dd has learned to ask for *2* , one for me and one for S. The first 2 years we had her she had a melt down and I finally figured out she felt disloyal to S by focusing on me....so I told her to ask for an extra one for her bmom...and I explained to her teachers what was going on. Since then, we've had fabulous Mother's Day's which is really odd for me. I've hated mother's day even as a kid, worse as a married childless woman, and then as later as a despised person (to my daughter) until she adjusted and got to know me. But for 2 years now, they've been wonderful. DD is especially thoughtful in her gift she picks out, and she starts thinking about what to get me for weeks ahead of time.

[maricela]

We have no contact with either birthmom but we pray for her that day.

[Lylac]

Nope! Not at all..nor on any other day of the year. My kids don't understand anything about adoption or birth moms.

And for 2 of my 3..I have NO respect at all.

[athikers]

We, too, are in an open situation with Pixie and Teeter's parents, though Pixie is not-yet-adopted and Teeter is now a straight foster placement. I try to make something for the parents for all holidays and mother's day will be no different. Probably just a card and a picture. I have to grit my teeth a little... but I try to remember they love their kids very much, just in a very different way than I love them.

[Barksum]

When I first read your post, I thought that I wouldn't recognize any of my children's birth parents. I've only seen one picture of one of them, and haven't met any of them. (Well, except for the one who is a relative, and even then I'm not sure I'd recognize her.)

Then I read on and figured out that wasn't what you were talking about! LOL

As to sending any kind of note/card/gift, no. If I were organized I'd send them to my kids' foster moms, though. We just don't have any kind of contact or relationship with any of the bio parents.

[Mkuhlmann06]

Although we have a closed adoption and no agreement, since my son was 11 when placed with us and finalized...and he spent 8 yrs in foster care visiting mom... I allow him to send cards/pictures whenever he wants through the county. For him, it is in his best interest that he be able to do this. He decided to pick out a mom day card for her, wanted me to include a copy of his class picture (no identification of school/location), and he decorated a wooden frame with a picture of him in his baseball uniform (again, we removed any identifying letters). He's been with us almost 10 months and he just received his first letter from his mom (I had posted about this letter about a week or two ago). We did give it to him, so he is now working on a letter to her -- not sure it will make it in time to be mailed with the other things. I still have to mail the package -- it goes throught he county and will arrive to mom a little late, but it is definitely the thought.