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during the homily tonight. I was so tempted to just get up and walk out.

Father starts the homily with "So I just found out my friend that I have known for years was adopted. HE HAS BEEN AN ORPHAN HIS WHOLE LIFE." **What? Really? If he was adopted he is not an orphan!!**
It gets worse-much worse. He follows that with "He never knew his real parents-the biological ones." and "Even though he was adopted and his real parents left him, he was never alone. Orphans are not alone because Jesus was always there. HE would never leave you. Some of you may have been adopted, but know that you are not alone even if you are an orphan. Jesus has always been with you."

OK, I wanted to scream---My children are not orphans they were adopted. We are REAL and we are parents. Our children are not alone and have always been wanted. We wanted each of them long before they were born and their first parents made an adoption plan--they didn't just leave them. They are not alone--they have a family and being adopted does not equal orphan. The word orphan is cause alone to send J and S into a tailspin. J doesn't even want to hear the word orphanage.

It wasn't like he was doing it unknowingly either. We were in the 2nd row in plain sight. On the other side of the church in the 2nd row, was another family that was built by adoption. They have 11 children of all different ethnicities.

During the homily S came over and said "Mom, I feel sick and sat right next to me and cuddled in tight. I just kept patting them and hugging them and inwardly was praying that Father would just stop talking. Some people need to realize that some subjects should not be introduced in a speaking forum until they have been educated on the subject.

[RavenSong]

Wow, it sounds like you really need to enlighten and educate your priest about adoption. He doesn't have a clue, does he?!!!

Sorry your kiddos had to hear such a horrid homily. If I were you, I would make an appointment with Father, and then tell him how his words hurt those of his parishoners who have built their families thru adoption.

[skirbo]

Geez, I think I *would* have walked out. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Sarah

[MomwithFive]

I agree. I don't think I would have been able to sit through that service. I probably would have left. He definitely should be told how that impacted you and your family.

[Oceans]

Eeee! Sorry your kiddo had to hear that. I would give your priest a call. Like you said, he probably doesn't realize how hurtful some of his words were.

[luvmylittlegirls]

Wow, that wasn't just an oops. He knew better and still deliberately *emphasized* his incorrect, offensive opinion. I think a confrontation in love is in order. He's a priest, but he's not God. I hope you press the issue. Nothing short of a public retraction and apology would satisfy me. He hurt the hearts of children and didn't care. I'm getting angry just thinking about his homily. FWIW, I hope your kids understand that God loves them, God is the author of your family and He thought the priest's homily stunk.

[devildogwife]

Originally Posted by luvmylittlegirls

Wow, that wasn't just an oops. He knew better and still deliberately *emphasized* his incorrect, offensive opinion. I think a confrontation in love is in order. He's a priest, but he's not God. I hope you press the issue. Nothing short of a public retraction and apology would satisfy me. He hurt the hearts of children and didn't care. I'm getting angry just thinking about his homily. FWIW, I hope your kids understand that God loves them, God is the author of your family and He thought the priest's homily stunk.

I couldn't agree more. Your priest was so out of line. I hope you do educate him on this. Let us know how things turn out.

[JPDakota]

If you would PM me his name/address, I will be more than happy to write him a letter.

[chickymum]

From Eph 1 "In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will"
Does this mean that God and Christ are not real too since they also adopted all of us. Even God talks about adoption as the greatest thing that can happen to someone. If it is so great Spiritually it can't be a bad thing humanly speaking.

[loveajax]

Ummmmmm.....does the priest not realize that Jesus was "adopted"....I have heard/read things about Joseph being Jesus' adoptive father. I guess he wasn't real.

Oh, I'd be soooo mad. I don't know how involved you are in your parish, but I think I would drop him a note/email/talk to him.

[qs mom]

On the one hand, I think I would walk out. But on the other hand, doing so would have prompted some crazy questions from my son.

My son know that he is adopted. He knows that he lived someplace else before we became a family. He knows that he grew in R's belly, not mine. And he truly understands this.

But words like orphan, orphanage, birth parents, bio parents, 'real' parents, are words he doesn't know. He doesn't have the capacity to understand those words right now.

Our conversation would be pretty circular.

[tybeemarie]

I do hope you have spoken to your priest about the effect of his language on your family and the message it sends to the parish as a whole. I would print out some information about positive adoption language to share with him.

I also would gently challenge him on how his homily jives with the Catholic Church's position on the sanctity of human life. His friend's birth parents chose life over death--is this not to be commended? Do we really want to call people who choose life and make adoption plans for their children the People Who Leave Their Children? And do we want to tell people who create their families through adoption that they do not count, they are not real, they, too, have essentially abandoned the child because they did not give birth to the child?

Let us know how it goes.