[lifeinashoe]

My beautiful petite 3 year old daughter is acting like a monster! I adopted her from foster care, she came to me at 2 months of age. She has never been in daycare, and I've basically done attachment parenting with her. But she has gradually turned into someone I almost don't recognise. She hits and kicks me and calls me names, throws endless temper tantrums, and she has a pacifier in her mouth 24/7. I have given up trying to limit it as it caused unbelievable anger in her.
I am an experienced parent, I have had 50-60 foster children, I have 6 in my home right now. (3 adopted) My 7 year old is on Risperdal and Ritalin. But I have never seen anything like this. I devour Nancy Thomas info and use a lot of it as well as many other books, the latest being "The Connected Child."
Some things that I'm doing with her or have done in the past- good vitamin supplement, fish oil, and liquid calcium. High protien diet and greatly limit sweets and additives. Plenty of sleep, structure, time and attention. Lots of fresh air and excercise. wonderful medical care.
She was addicted to cocaine, methadone and marajuana at birth and had such severe withdrawal that she was on morphine for six weeks. I knew she would have issues but up until a couple months ago she seemed perfectly normal. Now it appears as if she has gone crazy. She has some good days and then its usually all day, she doesn't have a "spell" and then the rest of the day is okay. Its either a good day or a horrible terrible no-good day!
I don't where to start to get help for her. I refuse to give a three year old medication. Any one have Any ideas what might be going on?????? Please give me some hope....

[lucyjoy]

Sounds like the effects of drug exposure.

There are some parents who have had good luck doing very restrictive diets-gluten and casien free(and I know I spelled that wrong) and it might be worth looking into.
There is a yahoo biomedical group for that but I can't think of the web address for it(pm zebramom on this list, I think she might know)

For a 3 year old, I use holding more then I do Nancy Thomas, though she will resist you.

Neurofeedback is another option to consider.

I'm sure you are exhausted from all of this. I hope she settles down soon.

[angelkisses0102]

Does she have sensory integration issues? My son was attachment disordered and until he was about 3 that masked his sensory issues. When dysregulated..he is a mess...he is a sensory seeker and those behaviors can mimic some attachment related behaviors. The pacifier just jumps out to me as a sensory seeking oral issue...my son at age 4.5 still *needs* his pacifer to calm himself at times. SPD is a neuro based condition so your DD have good days and bad days would fall in line with a neuro based condition.

Also was she alcohol exposed in utero? My lil guy is from Russia so he very well may have been altho we have no proof but he has some neuro based issues besides the sensory stuff.

An OT familiar with sensory issues can quickly determine if she has anything going on in that aspect. We have been working with him for about a year and he is worlds better but not anywhere 'normal' yet....but we are all adapting.

Good luck...

[m2000]

Just saw this and wanted to give you the group address that discusses alternative treatment for kiddos...here is the link.
adoptbiomed : Biomed Interventions & Adopted Children
your dd sounds like mine at that age however mine was always like that from birth until we figured out some things (diet, supplements). She was also born drug addicted and had a lot of in utero assaults. Amazing what it can do to our kids bodies!

In addition to the alternative treatements, you really should look into sensory issues (as someone else mentioned). You can find an Occupational Therapist to do a sensory integration assessment and see if there is something that can be treated.

In the mean time, I wonder if she could be reacting to one of the supplements you are already giving her. Sometimes supplements need to be paired with other supplements in order for them to work properly - and some kids react to harmless supplements. For instance, my dd reacted to Omega 6 but not Omega 3's. Also, she really needed Magnesium, zinc and the B vitamins all taken together (and at the right dosages) for any one of them to work at all.

All of this (dosages, etc.) was based on testing for deficiencies. Its quite a puzzle but once figured out, its life changing for some. My dd is off all meds and doing extremely well - this after being dx with bipolar by age 4 and put on several meds that never worked. Like you, I was at my wits end but my dd was suffering and I had to find answers.

I really hope you find something that works - good news is that she is so young and if you can figure this out now, it will save so many headaches later. We didn't figure things out until my dd was almost 6.

M2000
oops, one more thing :-) if she has pyroluria, she will react poorly to the high protein diet and omega 3's...something to look into.
oh, and another thing...has she been evaluated for seizures?

[kimby2]

I have a 3y/o little boy who is having the same issues. We adopted him from birth, he had cocaine in his system at birth and possible alcohol use during preg. He has very good days and then other days I'm in tears by the time my dh gets home. He's been going to OT for sensory therapy, therapeutic listening therapy. Insurance decided not to cover it anymore so this week was the first week in over a month without therapy and I can definately tell a difference in him without it. I truly believe it was helping him....alot of lifting, heavy work, wieghted vest etc.......Good luck!
Kim