[Star_Gazer]

Any ideas on teaching kids proper social skills, books to read or anything?

My son desperately needs help with social skills. Other kids just don’t want to be around him.

For example, our church had an outing at a park this past weekend and E saw a boy he knew from Boy Scouts. When E said ‘hi’ to him the boy didn’t even say anything back…well he mumbled something but it wasn’t nice. The boy got a disgusted look on his face and turned the other way. I don’t like to see my son treated this way.

Also, the school called again today and it seems that E was howling at inappropriate times. They were having quiet writing time and the teacher was talking with another student about her story.
The student’s story had the word ‘howling’ in it and so E began howling and was asked repeatedly to stop. When he finally stopped, he began tapping on his desk and then had to be asked to stop tapping repeatedly. He told the teacher that other kids were also making noises. So he got in trouble for being disruptive and being disrespectful. (The administrator was told there were no other kids making noises)
Anyway, now the administrator is going to refer E for in-school counseling to work on his behavior and social skills.

[PabloandCarlosMama]

You might check to see if there's a community education type of program. My kids' school district offered a manners/social skills class that met once a week for a month. It dealt with everything from table manners, shaking hands to greetings, etc. My younger son took it, and had fun while learning some good, practical skills in dealing with people and situations.

[aspenhall]

My dd is working with the school counselor on her social skills as well....

[momraine]

Our school has nothing like that, but we got him a book about aspergers, called "aspergers huh" and it talked about social stuff in it some. It wasn't a lot, but it was enough to get him to understand that there were these rules and things that he didn't get but needed to learn. So then we would practice things. I remember for Karate we had to practice "look like you are listening" My son could repeat every word the instructor had just said, but would often have his back to the instructor and be waviing his hands around and such. So we had to teach him how to look like you are listening. There were others we had to go over to. It bacame a family thing of acting out situations and practicing how to respond and such. Now in high school he really doesn't need much help. Occasionally he will ask for help with a situation. (like his recent first meeting with his girl friends's father, whom he is spending spring break with)
Anyway, that's what worked with him. He doesn't have any attachment issues though, just aspergers. Now if anyone has any way to get my RADish not to always be so LOUD. He has no soft voice, ever and it makes us crazy sometimes.

[aspenhall]

pretend you can't hear him....except in order to hear him he must be quieter....not louder

[Tudu]

Our kids have been in groups in school for social skills and how to be a good friend. They didn't learn much and my oldest was convinced she was there to show others how to be a good friend.

Our AT offers a group and/or send out an aide to work in the home on these issues. We are on the list and waiting.

[Kansas Girl]

Originally Posted by aspenhall

pretend you can't hear him....except in order to hear him he must be quieter....not louder

Not to get off topic, but we also did this with R - it works! Plus, as he learned better self-regulation (being able to calm himself down) the loudness went away.

On the social skills, R was able to participate in a group at school (5th grade) which helped immensly, with the attendees selected by the school social worker. Say what you want about high NY taxes, the public school he attended there was excellent. What about the Boys & Girls Club Boys & Girls Clubs of America - do you have something like that around you? Maybe they would have something. The following descriptions are from our area's BGC web page, as part of their "5 Core Program Areas":

"Health and Life Skills Programs in this area develop young people’s capacity to engage in positive behaviors that nurture their own well-being, set personal goals and live successfully as self-sufficient adults.

Character and Leadership Development
Programs in this Core Program Area empower youth to support and influence their Club and community, sustain meaningful relationships with others, develop a positive self-image and good character, participate in the democratic process, and respect their own and others’ cultural identities."


Fran