[zebramom]

Just got a call from the new case manager for T. The woman who was the case manager is now becoming the therapist for all the boys in the house since they changed to more of a "group home" status. Not expecting her to get anywhere with T. We have another therapist who is going to be dealing with just him.

Anyway, DS got suspended again. I asked what for this time, expecting it to be something sexual since he's been acting out sexually at school, and she said it was for stealing and for being verbally aggressive to a teacher. Yippee Dang Skippy. The stealing is getting worse, and he still owes $500 in fines for his stealing of a cell phone and 3 tickets he got in the last foster home.

Now the team meeting that we were going to be having on Monday morning, is going to be held at school where we will be dealing with the IEP as well. I'm considering recommending that he be transferred to the alternative school since he can't seem to function in a regular school. And really, what's the difference? He doesn't care about his grades, so let's make his time there the least destructive and distracting to the other kids. The flip side is that this is a large city school, about 2000 kids in the high school, so the kids in the alternative school may not be kids that he needs to be around. But again, does it really matter?

I don't have the slightest clue what to say or recommend at this meeting. He just continues to escalate everything. This is after we had the discussion on the phone the other night where he said he was sick of foster homes and RTCs and wanted to come home. I told him he knew what he needed to do if he wanted to come home. Quite obviously he doesn't really care, not that I held any false illusions that he did.

Pass me the migraine meds, the chocolate and the booze.

[Bippette]

I'm so sorry Zebra. I wish that I had some magic answers for you.

I can tell you that worrying and fretting won't do anyone any good. But I also know from experience that that is easier said than done.

When you feel yourself tensing and knotting up...try and remind yourself that all the worrying in the world won't really help. All you can do is love him.

[lucyjoy]

Well, the kids in the alternative school won't be any worse then the kids he'll be doing jail time with if he doesn't decide to do something different with his life.

A group home setting is a step closer to RTC. It's sad that these are the choices he's making.

If it were me, I'd call him on this last thing. Just short questions-"Is this going to help you get back home? If not, you might want to change your choices." Nothing else, no arguement, no sarcasm, just straight fact. He won't respond appropriately, but sometimes, these things get into their brains and they find them later.

He's on such a crash course to jail. I'm not even his mom and I want to come shake some sense into him.(disclaimerlease do NOT shake your children)

Dump as much of the meeting on HIM as you can. "What your doing is not going to work here. What do you think YOU need to be successful?" If I remember right, T is a parrotter and doesn't like to make decisions. I think it's time he be required in writing to make some decisions and plans for himself.

[kay]

So sorry, Z - this from someone in a similar boat (or sinking ship!) On the positive side, the alternative school might actually be good for T - it has been for my C. Yes, he is in with all the slackers and "bad influences" (though I think C is usually the ringleader, so I can't blame the other kids). But the classes are much smaller, the teachers are dedicated and enthusiastic and determined to reach these difficult kids - I am so much more impressed by their program than I was the regular high school.

Now the down side to balance the positive is that he actually has to be at school to get these benefits, and he'd still rather be truant. He is escalating, too, and that's hard to watch.

I'm treating myself to dinner and a movie - and booze! with a friend tonight. Come join us . . .

[zebramom]

Not so much a parrott as what he THINKS everyone wants to hear, but yes he doesn't "do" decisions.

You can come and talk to him. He likes you and thinks you're brilliant. Heck, let him come live with you, he said your house is perfect.

Lucy, I have a great idea. You attend the meeting for me. You'd have a great time.

[AmyAnne]

* Hands over the Dove Dark Chocolate, the Pink Truck Wine, the expensive bubble bath, and a very large hug*

[kay]

Amy - Pink Truck Wine? - never heard of that, it sounds downright painful!

[lucyjoy]

Of course I'm brilliant-never mind his assessment is solely based on the fact that I have the correct name.

Parrot kids are the ones that only say what they think you want instead of what they mean.

I'll pick him up-he can split wood out back! Doubt the SWer's and school personell would appreciate what I think is best for your son.

And of course it would be fun for me cause lets face it, He's not MY kid.

You come down and figure out MY T's next move.

Oh forgot-just take the magic 8 ball to the meeting. Check all suggestions out with that "expert" source

[zebramom]

How could I have forgotten about the 8 ball??? It's sitting right here on my desk. I will take it along. At the very least, it will make everyone wonder.

[AmyAnne]

Originally Posted by kay

Amy - Pink Truck Wine? - never heard of that, it sounds downright painful!

Heh... it's a really good blush wine with a weird name.

[ajjhmf]

Z, I think the magic 8 ball is a great idea.

And the chocolate.

And the wine.

Wine.

I like the thought of wine.

[Lylac]

Sorry Z {{{HUGZ}}}

Never heard of Pink Truck wine.. Although I've drank some that makes everything look pink

[SuzBerg]

Z- I'm sorry I don't have any advice or experience - just wanted to send cyberhugs. (oh and I could send you the bottle of merlot Jenny and Crick left when they were here last year. It's still on my top pantry shelf )