[kay]

I just got a call from a bail bonds company wanting to know if I'd post bail for C's older sister. They couldn't tell me any details at all, so I called the jail and got the booking information - apparently it was for trespassing ? driving on private property? Doesn't make any sense to me, and the woman I talked to had a very heavy accent. I won't give her any money before I talk to her, and can't get down there during visiting hours today. More details as I get them, but for now, if you're pray-ers, please pray for A.

[bajj]

I'm adding all of you to my prayers.

[lucyjoy]

Do NOT bail her out. There is no way you can guarantee she will show up for court. I know this is a hard situation for you. Saying prayers.

[Kansas Girl]

adding my prayers.....

[Barksum]

((hugs)) Kay. Have been praying for all of you, and that you'd have wisdom as to how best to proceed.

Not that you asked, but I second Lucy's advice. Only put up bail money if you have that amount to lose and never get back, if it doesn't involve ANY collateral, if you are happy to have the responsibility for getting A to court, and only if you are willing to be on a string for A and/or the judicial system to yank whenever they need. We've been in a similar situation, so I truly empathize.

[Kerbchek]

Prayers and positive vibes sent your way... sheesh... good luck with this difficult situation...

[aMarylandfamily]

When I opened this forum and saw your post title - knowing that C has been giving you some challenges the past couple week - fearing you were going to say he was picked up for something ... not that his sister's situation is any less serious ...

Most of us are pray-ers here (or we wouldn't survive) and tonight you have lots of them heading your way from lots of us!

Update when you can ...

[AmyAnne]

HUGS Kay! Keep us posted. My prayers are with you.

[skirbo]

Not my business, but speaking as a paralegal (not someone who has personally been in this situation) I would *not* bail her out. She might learn a valuable lesson if she gets to sit there for a while. If you bail her out you will set a precedent and end up doing it over and over and over. Then C will expect you to do it for him. Take a firm stance about C's sister, and perhaps C will expect you will take a firm stance for him.

Sarah

[Withay]

Adding my prayers

[dadfor2]

is this her first offence? does she get in trouble alot?

Im not really sure why they would call you and not the parents of the child, but Ill go with that you are her closest relative since I dont know the situation.

first, I just find it odd that they are holding her for tresspassing. I never heard of such a thing. They are usally taken into jail, fingerprinted, blah blah blah and then fined and given a date.

unless of course she has a history of getting in trouble, and if that is the case then DO NOT bail her out.

IF she has never been in trouble before, then I would bail her out. I dont thinking sitting in jail actually helps people. There is no 'treatment' there. they get to meet new friends.

I also work in the justice department, and it's rare that i have heard "well, since my first arrest and I had to spend time in jail, I never did anything wrong again"....

If it is not offence with the law, then I wouldnt bail her at, because she already is in that system, and now its up to her. The only good thing about jail, is that they are usually safer then being out.

but like i said,I dont know your situation to even come up with ideas, but taken it as what you posted, then that is how I would handle it.

as for your son watching to see what you do with his sister, well, it could work both ways on how he percieves it. No guarentees that he will say "she didnt bail her out, so i wont do anything wrong"

he could say "she didnt bail her out, she doesnt care what happens to her and me" and add more onto the issues. Thats a 50/50 on how he will look at it.

But like what others say, if you dont think she will show up for court, be prepared to lose that money. If you cant afford it,then your decision should already be made.

[Lorraine123]

Kay,

You are certainly in my prayers. What a tough situation for you. You have been given a lot of good advice. Personally, I would not bail her out. Hugs to you Kay

Lorraine

[Original Mike]

DO NOT BAIL HER OUT!!!!!! you have no legal responsibility for her and I agree with the others that bailing her out only sets bad precedence for C.

Furthermore, once she is bailed, you lose your money if she doesn't show up or "forgets' to show up for court. Don't put yourself into that situation.

When C got arrested, i let him sit in jail for 30 days because I wouldn't bail him out. The idiot who DID bail him out still hasn't seen the bail money back because, here, they hold it until the criminal pays the restitution. if he/she doesn't pay, they use the bail money towards it.

I'm sure you'll get a TON of crap from C if you don't bail her out, but stick to your guns. Then he might think twice about pulling something stupid in the future.

Best of luck!

mike

[skirbo]

I should explain that, in my case, B has a misdemeanor criminal destruction of property record that she did DJJ a little DJJ time and a little probation time for.

I have made it clear to her from day one (the way my 'lawyer then judge' father did to each one of us)... I will still love you if you get arrested. I will visit you if you get arrested. I will bring you your toothbrush if you get arrested. However, I will not bail you out, I will not hire you a lawyer and I will not allow any of my friends to defend you for free because you are my child. If I catch you breaking the law, I will be the first one to turn you in. The law exists to protect us, to protect you, and is to be respected and obeyed in this home.

She hasn't been here long enough to really test that position, and hasn't got a license or a car. However, she knows I am a woman of my word because she once asked me what I would do if we ever found her fugitive mother, and I told her I would turn her in. When fugitive mom was in the hospital, I turned her in, and B knows it. She was actually happy about it I think.

So, that's the reasoning behind my position. It's not a position that would catch B by surprise, because we've discussed it regularly from day one.

Sarah

[dadfor2]

weather your bail her out or not bail her out, is your choice. But just realize jail does not teach any lessons. No matter what people might think, it teaches them nothing.

hey, jail worked for paris hilton...oh wait, no it didnt....lol.

just be clear on why you are not bailing her out. If it is just to teach her a lesson, then it WILL backfire, because it doesnt teach anything you would actually want her to learn. If its because you dont want any legal responsiblity to her and you cant afford to lose the money, then I wouldnt do it.

but i still dont get why you would get involved in this, since she is not your child. Does she have her own parents?