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Originally Posted By barki

I don't recall the board having addressed adoption of a child with a terminal illness. Any input on this issue? (Have we talked about his before?? LOL)

DH and I have looked at a couple of children who have life threatening or terminal illnesses, and we had a twofold reason for not pursuing more information: 1) we live in a rural area and, generally speaking, children with these types of med. issues need the type of medical care that we would have to travel 4-6 hours one way to get; and 2) we were not sure of the impact on our children already in the home. (Not to mention ourselves...I don't know if I could handle that. I know that God gives us the grace to cope with what He calls us to do, but thankfully right now I'm not in that position.)

[Archive]

Originally Posted By another maryland family

Our training instructors were very cautious when this subject was covered noting that it is not for the faint of heart or for those with other children in the home as the impact can be severe ... for children life is about living and it takes alot for an adult to handle such a situation let alone a child!

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Pam

I know for a fact that some people specifically want to adopt HIV positive babies. 33% of them will go on to have AIDS and the rest will sero-convert and be free of HIV. We checked into this, then decided it was just too hard...we didn't want to lose a child...well, only God knows when you will, but we didn't want to know for sure that it could happen.

[Archive]

[Archive]

Originally Posted By Jerry

I can tell you from first hand experience that there is nothing as devastating as loosing a child. Quite frankly it changed our lives. There is deep lingering grief you have to deal with on a daily basis. It never gets better you just learn to live with it; Like exisiting with a huge piece having been ripped from your body leaving only the pain from the savagery.

I've worked with many parent's that have lost children and it's really no different if it's sudden or a lingering illness. With an illness the family will usually begin the grieveing process before the child passes away. Always there is deep sorrow.

My wife's step sister fostered and adopted medically fragile children (3 all together) and they have all passed away. She is a very wonderful person with a deep faith, but you can see the pain and loss in her face. I've also met a foster parent here that was asked to take a child home "to die." The child is still living 12 years later.

Someone must care for the sick and dying. We too had thought about HIV children, but for our family it wasn't a good match. We have also talked about taking a child with a dire prognosis. We are not sure we could. That topic has been under discussion for some time. I would make a suggestion to anyone considering this route. Go volunteer with hospice for a time. Their approach and pholosophy may bring you to feel you can foster or adopt a child with these needs.

[eranchhome]

I dug this thread out of archives because I haven't seen any discussion on foster or adoption of terminally ill children in my brief time as a member of this message board. Do all of these children end up in institutional care? Is there anyone out there caring for these children in there homes? Does anyone know of any web sites that are informative on this topic? I appreciate any replies.

[Peggy]

I have not chosen to care for a terminally ill child, but in my pursuit of my own family, and other boards I did run across other families who care for terminally ill children. I think it is handled in the course of the regular fostercare system. Usually the mom is stay-at-home.

[leastofthese]

no, these children do not all end up in institutional situations. Unfortunately, some do, because there are not many families who are able to willingly put their very hearts on the line...

What state are you in? You might ask your social worker or your R&C worker about any trainings re: medically fragile children. In our state the lady who does those trainings has adopted more than one child who she knew in advance would die. She is an unbelievable lady. I would love to be like her when I grow up!

Are you interested in this topic because you are considering this for yourself or just fyi? Either way, it's a great subject.

We are medically fragile foster parents in KY and we were asked about a year ago to bring a boy home who was expected to live only a few hours up to a few days. I would have done it in a heartbeat, but I have 2 small birth children who I didn't want to ask to deal with watching someone die. KWIM?

Most of our children have had other issues that are not imminently life threatening, but are ongoing medical issues. We have one little boy right now that we are hoping to adopt if all goes well.

God Bless.

[eranchhome]

I am not currently licensed for foster care or persuing adoption, but have always wanted to be somehow involved. I'm just not sure what God's plan for my family is. I know that this is not the right time. This year we have been reeling from perpetual crisis. We actually applied to be foster parents a few years ago, but then became pregnant and put the process on hold. We have 2 healthy bio kids.

I am an RN, but stay at home with my children at this time. A medical placement seems like a natural choice to me. So... I guess I am researching the options while waiting for guidance from the BIG GUY. I could use your prayers. Robin

[leastofthese]

Your situation sounds perfect to do medically fragile care! It doesn't have to be children who are terminal, just maybe chronic stuff. I have cared for children who are diabetic, have shaken baby syndrome, prematurity & effects from it, also there have been children who had mild to severe CP and there were several babies who were otherwise healthy, but were on an apnea monitor for various reasons.

Since you are mom to 2 little ones, you obviously wouldn't want to do the terminal ones, but if you are content to be a little more "tied down", there's no reason you couldn't foster medically fragile children. Your state, I'm sure, would be thrilled to have an RN providing care to these children! You have the qualifications and the heart...when the time is right for your family, it sounds like you'd be a natural!

God bless. I'll pray for God to give you some guidance. But, if He's given you the ability and the desire, maybe that IS the guidanace??? If you have any other questions, feel free to pm me.