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Originally Posted By Pam

This came up on "chat" on Friday and I thought it would be fun to hear some responses. Do you favor boys or girls for adoption or don't you care? Why? Weekends are always bummers for me...can't call on any kids, etc. So I thought I'd ask a question and read any answers. For us, it's definitely boys, alhtough we've read that 9 out of 10 couples or singles want to adopt girls! And I read that MORE THAN ONCE! We prefer boys. I guess I'm a boy person, kind of a Tom boy myself. I find boys, even harder ones, are more mellow than the harder girls. When they fight (and mine do!) they tend to get over it more quickly than my daughters do. They just seem to, in general, have easier temperments, even when their temperments aren't that good. Both of my girls are VERY moody and neither came here as much older children (one came home from the hospital and the other came at five months). When I look for another kid I never even look at girls, just look at boys. I know boys wait around longer anyways....and we like to adopt kids that wait a long time. There are a few sib groups of two that are boy/girl that we HAVE seriously thought about though. Another issue here is that my hub is not really comfortable with teenage girls and their habits, but he seems to really connect with teenage boys. ANd all kids will be teenagers some day Ok...what's your take? This is all in fun, btw. I hope nobody takes it seriously as a slam against little girls. I love 'em too

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Originally Posted By louise

for the same reasons. And boys seem to really like their mom, even difficult boys!! Don't get me wrong, I love my daughters tons, the boys, however, are easier somehow for me. And boys wait so much longer for families, that hits a soft spot with me. My daughters want a little sister since they are one down in numbers, don't know if we'll even the numbers in the future. We don't look for children, they seem to find their way to us so we'll wait and see what happens.

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Originally Posted By Kena

...who raised six of both gender, boys are much easier. That said, John and I are only looking at girls this go round. Neither of us can really articulate why, but we both felt a strong pull toward girls and decided to limit our search by gender, as there are so many more boys in the system we felt sure we'd get matched with a boy if we inquired on both. We definitely haven't ruled out a boy and/or sibling group of both genders in the future.

I always thought I preferred girl children, but our next-door neighbor kind of changed all that. He is the product of an unhappy home (to put it mildly -- I don't want to share his personal problems here) and spends a great deal of time with us. I love him, and can't imagine loving him more if I gave birth to him myself. John feels the same way, and I know this little boy helped John to feel more certain that he could love an adopted child without reservation. Because of him, I can now see myself adopting boys (I used to think I would do a China adoption when I was younger to ensure a girl). However, John and I were very concerned about him feeling as if his place in our family is threatened by our adoption. He does feel that way, but we are helping him work through it and are including him in the process as much as we think is appropriate. So an added benefit of our deciding on a girl seems to be that he feels more secure in his place -- he has expressed more concerns about another boy "replacing" him (as if that could ever happen). What we didn't figure on was that our 6 y/o niece (who I have a special connection with) would feel more threatened by our plans to adopt a girl!! However, we are helping her deal with this, and she has a stable sense of self, two caring parents, and a stable family so she should be able to cope.

Anyway, sorry this was so long!!!

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Originally Posted By barki

I have one of each. My dd is 8 and ds is 3. Girls are easier in some ways, boys easier in others. I'm not sure why, but I think boys are easier in general. We are kind of looking for boys more than girls.

Since our dd is fast approaching puberty (eeek!) I think we'd either go for a very little girl or boys. Also there are SO MANY BOYS on all the listings that we just think it is less of a hassle to find boys that will fit into our family.

Another thing is that our daughter seems to like being Daddy's Girl. We don't want to disrupt that too much right now, and since we are considering adopting out of birth order we thought we could keep her individual spot in the family by having her be the only girl. She may want a sister as she gets older, but right now she really doesn't. Not that she makes the decisions in our family, but we do consider her in our decisions, as well as our ds.

LOL That's where we are right now...who knows what that will turn out to be in reality at some later point!

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Originally Posted By Mike

The main reason that I only looked at boys during my search was that I am a single man and I know I could NOT raise a girl. Having no experience with "girl stuff", I knew girls were never an option here.

There were other reasons for wanting a boy, too. I think, deep down, every man wants a son. Not necessarily just to "carry on the name", but to help him re-connect with his own childhood. Then, once I learned how long boys wait for adoption, it was a no-brainer.

As I prepare for Jimmy's next visit this week, I think about how wonderful boys are. Sure, they can be real slobs and can find even the most revolting thing in the backyard cool. Sure, they turn into teenaged boys as soon as you come to love them as litle boys. Irregardless, I wouldn't trade my son for anything in the world : )

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Well, having only had sisters growing up and then going on to have two biological daughters of my own, when we decided to adopt I wanted another girl. It was just familiar territory to me to have another one. My husband has three biological children of his own that are grown now (two girls and a boy), and he thought that I would probably really enjoy a boy, but was in agreement to getting a girl.

It was after we got Baby Alia in 2000 that I decided I wanted to have a boy too. I knew we would likely only adopt one more time, and it was my last chance for that experience. Thus, we got Demario.

I'd agree that there's good and bad about both. Right now, my older girls are in a really fun "little girl age" of 7 and 9. They enjoy the same books as I did when I was their age, and they like pretty, prissy girl stuff just like I did. Demario is "all boy" and into sports, which I can speak somewhat intelligently about though it's not generally my favorite subject. However, the girls are hyper-sensitive and emotional, and he is not. In a lot of ways he IS easier to raise at this point because he just goes and has fun without worrying about some of the silly stuff the girls worry about - like why someone gave them a dirty look or whether someone will like them or not. Demario doesn't care about that stuff.
I look forward to Demario becoming a young man. But the idea of my daughters becoming teens and having some scraggly boy with piercings or tattoos hanging all over them makes me cringe.

If I were to adopt again, it would probably be another boy. Basically to even out the boy/girl ratio in the house and because I don't think the girls' room would hold another bed but I could get bunk beds in Demario's room without a problem. But we're not, not, not going to adopt again, even if I HAVE thought about where we'd fit another bed!!

So I guess - in a million words or less - I'd say we don't really have a preference.

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We have been interested in girls from the beginning as DH has three boys from a previous marriage and we both LOVE the way he is with his grandaughters. He loves ALL kids but there is something about seeing him with the little girls. No matter where we go, they are drawn to him...it is too cute! I have always wanted a little girl, so it just worked out that way for us. We don't currently have the space to have two separate children's bedrooms, so that helped us narrow the decision down too as they will be sharing a bedroom. We did tell our worker though that if a situation were presented to us for little boys, we were open to it too....as we want to adopt two siblings. I feel that the right children will come to us at the right time...it has already been decided...so it is just a matter of us finding each other.

However, after reading all the postings on this board over the past months, I'm thinking I see an addiction coming on...hmmmmm...may have to move or renovate!!!

~Stacey~

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Even though I'm not the "girly" type myself - actually, I've always been a "tomboy" - I'm just more comfortable with girls. We had a really rough go with our bio son - now 20 and doing OK (in the Navy). I guess it just scared me to the point that I don't even want to try it again. But - I do have one more boy - he (and his twin sister) are 11 months old TODAY!! Poor little guy, has 5 sisters and more on the way!! I'm not saying I wouldn't ever take another boy - but given the choice, I guess it would always be girls. DH is also more comfortable with girls.

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I have a sister and 2 brothers and I had a big part in raising them so I'm not really leaning toward either gender. Whichever I'm matched with first is fine with me....Cheryl

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Originally Posted By T.

I grew up in a family of girls and no brothers. I don't even recall ever babysitting a little boy when I was growing up. So boys will be new territory for me.

Also, girls are very drawn to my husband. It doesn't seem to matter the age! In fact, he's the only male member of our community "fashion club" which he dreamed up to encourage positive self-image for some of our friends' pre-teen daughters. (It started because two sisters came to stay with us for the weekend and picked at each other's appearances a lot.) It includes embossed memberhship certificates and discussions of "cool & fashionable" being beautiful on the inside and treating others nicely (not just the 'fashion' that they see in the teen magazines), and to celebrate the uniqueness that God has given each of us. Membership is inclusive; however, none of the boys have wanted to join. LOL

So, we're up for either; but anticipate an easier initial adjustment with girls.

T.

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We moved from SC to TN a little over a year ago and for many reasons, we still haven't gotten around to buying a new house so with our 2 bdrm townhouse, it would be easier to have another girl who could share a room with Madison for a few months (if necessary)than to have to do a mad scramble and buy a bigger home before the placement. Also if we were to adopt a boy, we would definitely need to go younger. Although Matt is an awesome dad who spends lots of quality time with Madison, he also has a job that requires that he works alot of nights and weekends which we both feel would not be the best thing for an older boy who might need a little more fathering than mothering.