[arkansas parent]

T's teacher wants to speak to my husband and I about T's behavior. She was watching him during nap time and she said she doesn't think he CAN stay still. We have some problems with him during nap time,but if I tell him in a firm voice to get still he will(most of the time). When I explained it to her she acted like I was crazy. I have already had a talk with her about how she needs "deal" with T. He needs very firm direct instrutions. I have also told her not to nagotiate (sp?) with him. I told her to be sure she can see him during nap time or he would play. I walked in last week and caught him in the other kids cubbies. She had him in a nook so there was not way she could watch him from her desk. Now that he is moved and she can see him she thinks he has ADHD. She was letting him look at books,but I told her he needs to lay down just like the rest of the kids. Should he be allowed to look at books?
He is a very active little boy. It has been cold and raining for days and he has not went outside. He is calmer than my daugher was at that age. I keep telling her everyday she has to be FIRM or he will never liston to her.
I'm I just in denial or is she just not dealing with him the right way. I know people think I am to strict with him, but I feel like I have to be.

[ajjhmf]

At age 4, our preschool teacher spoke with us about ADHD. We spoke with our p-doc and she said with all of J's issues at the time there was really know way to tell. J has SID, anxiety, at the time he was very hypervigilent and unknown pre-natal exposires. She is a developmental p-doc, tops in her field and I trusted her instinct to not medicate or persue it at that time. Besides, she said, it's preschool...he's allowed to be fidgity.

Over the years, as we got to know J better, he settled down and we were finally able to dx the ADHD. In the summer before 1st grade, when he was 7. Our current doc (Our lovely Dr. F moved to Hawaii on us ) said that it's very hard to dx true ADHD until kids are older anyway. All kids mature at different rates and it's not something to be entered into lightly.

ADHD doesn't just show up in one area of life, it crosses them all. If he is okay at home with you, then it does sound like it may be an issue with the school. So, my advice is to go with your gut. If you think it's the teacher, then observe the class and see what happens.

BTW - My son needs a firm had too. I had a hard time with the school understanding that. Now they do though and he's in a great class.

[SAHmom]

Our son's preschool teacher was wanting him tested for ADHD. I said no, give it a year, as I felt he was too young to be accurately diagnosed with anything. Instead we put a behavior chart in place that I had printed off a website. If he had gotten so many sticker, him and I did something special. It worked...sometimes. Now that he is in Kindergarten and still having trouble at home & school, he has started on a low dose of medicine. Having yet another teacher make the same observation, I decided that he was needing 'extra' help.

[mrsred]

When we got our newest daughter there was an appt already set to see the leading child neuro-psychologist in our area for an evaluation for adhd. Since the appt was already scheduled I went ahead and took her. This was about a week before her fourth birthday. he said, and I agree that it is next to impossible to diagnose adhd before the age of six in any child, and then if you had the problems a foster child has due to early neglect/abuse/abandonement/moving around, it is really impossible.
As he explained it, at the age of three all children display the symptoms of adhd. As kids mature, they will slowly lose the impulsivity, gain focus and attention span. Some will get there quicker, some slower. By the time they are around 6 or mid first grade, most kids will have gotten beyond that. It is those 10% left that are still unable to pay attention or control their impulses that may actually have adhd.
In my opinion preschool is where kids learn how to sit still, that is one of the most important aspects. And as far as naps go, not all kids need naps. My oldest stopped napping when he was 2 1/2.

[redfred]

Our son L is 4.5 years old and is being treated for ADHD. The difference is that we have had him since birth, and we all have known that there were some pretty big issues going on with him all along. Our pediatrician has treated all of our kids, including L, for many years and he is one of the top doc’s in our state. I would never follow the request of a pre-school teacher for treatment. They usually only have a certification, maybe an associates degree, and no medical training. (In fact our preschool has declared that L is “FINE” as they are 100% anti medication for children period. They do not think that urinating on himself, hiding feces, rages that last for hours and hours on end, severe depression, overwhelming anxiety and mood swings that no one can keep up with are out of the norm…)
Yes, it IS possible to diagnose a 4 year old with ADHD, under the right circumstances with a qualified psychiatrist. No, it is not common to do so. My advice is to trust your gut (parents know their kids better than anyone), ask a lot of people for input, and rely on MEDICAL professionals – not teachers.
Good luck!

[chelle_bub]

We just got a placement of a 8 yr old boy. He had been on ADHD meds but had ran out 2 weeks before coming into care. I talked to the CW about this because only being in our home for a week now he seems very in tuned with things. He is very well behaved. He does his homework with little or no help and does it correctly and neatly. I have just spoken to his teacher yesterday and she said she would like to see him continue without the meds for awhile also because he seems to be doing ok in class. Our FS was also on sleeping meds and is sleeping so good at night time now. I am all for not giving him the meds and I am waiting until his dr. visit to see if the dr. agrees.

[Kat-L]

Originally Posted by arkansas parent

T's teacher wants to speak to my husband and I about T's behavior.
She thinks he has ADHD. .

My sister heard that when her son, K, started kindergarten. She took him to be evaluated and the doctor said every teacher says that when the child doesn't sit still and behave. He said most preschool, kindergarten, and first grade boys have a LOT of energy and don't have time to release it during school hours-so they get figetty and distracted. This doctor refused to medicate a child under 8 (*except in extreme cases) because it was too soon to tell if it was ADHD or just normal kid energy.

[lucyjoy]

If she is basing her assumptions on naptime, I'd assume hypervigilence rather then add or adhd. I would let him look at books if he could do so quietly. I wouldn't expect a child with a traumatic background to be able to be still in a quiet area of other people. I think that's asking too much. His survival instinct may tell him that's unsafe. Insistance that he comply may make matters worse. Home, he is starting to understand you're keeping him safe so when you say something in a tone that indicates you mean it, he knows it's a safe thing for him. School would not have the same feeling of safety and insistance would create more behaviors while your son pushed and pushed to feel in control and safe. That's my unprofessional opinion.

[angelkisses0102]

My DS is 4 and had attachment issues, plus he has sensory and trauma issues as well as being developmentally delayed. If someone did not understand his history...they would assume he is ADHD (heck somedays I think he is ADHD ) We are very lucky to have a psychologist through the school district that *gets* him and his issues. He is in a special needs pre-K through our school district and they too understand what is going on. The private pre-K he was in suggested having him screened for through the school district for this particular program because the director happens to have her masters in the area of special needs (and she has an adult autistic son.) But they never diagnosed him...

DS cannot nap at school...so he looks at books. It is just not possible for him to relax enough yet and honestly he doesn't need a nap anymore.

Good luck.

[Again!]

I had a very old and wise principal tell me to take my two younger boys, then 3 and 4 off sugar (or else!). It worked wonders, though it is more difficult than you can imagine to enforce while they are in school. My younger is now 8 and getting straight As in second grade, and we recently tried to put him back on a 'regular' diet (ice cream etc). During the summer it was OK, but once school started and he was sitting more even I got tired of telling him to stop doing things, sit down, etc. Back off the sugar, back to the easy low maintence child he really is!

Of course the 9 year old is now in an inpatient facility, so my success rate isn't that good!

I would eliminate candy, juice and all other high sugar foods and see what happens in a few days.

[arkansas parent]

I talked with T's teacher. She agree he is VERY smart and knows how to work people. I told her she needs to be sure when she tells him to do something she doesn't say.

I need you to lay down.
Will you please stop.
Try to be still.
I want you to listen.
If you want go put that away.

All T hears is the underline words. I told her she needs to be saying

Lay down
Stop it
Be still
Put that away.

I think if she does this he will listen better. He needs very direct instruction. It CAN NOT seem like he has a choice.

We are now going to completly cut out chocolate on school days. He doesn't get much chocolate at home, but he gets chocolate milk twice a day at school. I told the teacher today not to let him have it anymore. I am hoping by cutting out all caffine he will be a little calmer. I am also going to keep him home a couple days a week and stay with him more when he does go to school.

I just don't believe it is ADHD. He sat at the vets office yesterday for 45min and never got up or talked much, he just petted the cat that was there. He is very patient. He will sit and try to figure out a puzzle for 30 min before giving up/crying. If I tell him to stop talking to his socks,pants, blanket, hands he will. Maybe I'm wrong but I didn't think kids with ADHD could do the things I described.( I Know very little about ADHD )

[jkke]

First - I would be completely offended if a pre-school teacher suggested my child is ADHD. That is not there place to say - legally! They can discuss certain behavior but in no uncertain terms can they suggest a DX.

Anyway, at that age children are very immature - especially boys - you mentioned your daughter wasn't like that at his age - Girls mature quicker and think and act more inwardly than boys do. Boys act outwardly.

In addition to eliminating sugar try some holistic approaches like seeing if he is mineral deficient. Magnesium deficiencies can have ADHD like symptoms. Also look into Omega 3 - some call it nature's ritilin.

My son, 7, came to us last year dx with ADHD and was on Tenex. I am beginning to believe he isn't and will have him truly evaluated next summer. For I just don't think a child can be dx with ADHD while in foster care and with his history. Anyway, when we first got him a year ago the psy. wanted to add concerta - we refused- this was based on 2 15 minute conversations and observations. I did my research and found there are many things that mimic ADHD - food allergies, mineral deficiencies, hyperviligence, etc....BTW: Told the dr. that on next visit and he wasn't really aware of this approach - he blamed all the medical journals b/c they say to medicate only. Don't you just love our medical system???

We discovered no food allergies but I keep sugar, dyes (yellow and red) and processed food to a minimum. (BTW: have any of you noticed how much sodium is in a lunchables - over 1600 mg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I will never buy that again) Think real food with no chemicals - organic. I added Omega 3, Amino Acid, Magnesium, daily multi-vitamin and occasionally B-12, along with behavior modification.

I found this information on ADHDnews.com - great forums on there with real people who have delt with this longer than me.

Good luck!

[arkansas parent]

jkke
I think you miss read what I wrote. T is calmer than my daugher was at that age.
T is taking multi-vitamins because he was a little anemic (sp). Yesterday I started adding organic flax oil (1/2 tsp)to his juice. He hates fish so this is the best way for me to help him get omega-3. We are going to cut back on suger as well. I told the teacher that I do not believe it is ADHD, he just needs her to be more direct and consistent (sp) with her punishments.
I have seen how the other kids are in her class act.He seems to be doing what everyone else does because they get away with it. He knows I will not give in to his fake tears.
He has had a very difficult life for a kid his age. I love him with all my heart, but I will not let him get away with things he shouldn't do.

[jkke]

Oh, sorry - Keep up the good work. Persistence and patience pays off in the end.
I give my kids these children Omega3 gel pills that taste like lemon or cherry - they love them!
Give the flax seed oil at least 3 - 4 weeks before seeing improvement.
Yes, at this age - they are learning social skills and teachers need to be aware that all children learn differently. And with kids who are adopted - we just need to spend extra time re-teaching things that should have been taught or undoing the bad. Not sure when you adopted him but I understand that it isn't my fault that my son behaves differently than most. I am just grateful that he and his sister are in our family now and have the means to reach their full potential!
Good luck with everything!

[bethy724]

I would not accept ANY diagnosis from anybody without medical training. I would encourage open communication with any caregiver but they are NOT trained or qualified to give a diagnosis. If the teacher is not setting firm limits (he's allowed to look at books during naptime?!) I would not respect her judgement. All children need boundries & limitations from the adults supervising them. I don't sleep "still" I toss & turn & don't think I have ADD. I personally think ADD it is way too over diagnosed-without a neurologist I would not accept any other method of diagnosis. A 10 minute talk with an MD is not even good enough for me-it's way too diagnosed & the first treatment should be behavior modification - not a pill. I'd be firm with the teacher of what is expected of him & of HER.