Question: School and appointments

***momraine*** · #1 10-14-2007, 01:53 PM

How do you guys handle all the missed school for appointments? Our son's psychologist is 2 hours away as will be the attachment therapist and so are some of the medical doctors we are seeing for him. With four hours of driving time, it's almost impossible to not take a whole school day for these appointments. I am worried that if this keeps up we will end up missing a lot of school, and I worry about him falling behind, plus trouble from the school.
How do you guys handle this issue?

Kansas Girl · #2 10-14-2007, 03:45 PM

We drive an hour and a half to our AT so a lot of times we leave at lunch time or right after. We prep the school beforehand - at the beginning of the school year - starting with the principal and assistants. We haven't had any problem with the time even being counted as out of school. On appt. day R generally gets his assignments ahead of time (his responsibility), plus his teachers have been great about giving him an extra day to finish the assignment (not unlimited) if needed. At the start of the school year I also send the "What is Attachment" article off the attach.org website to all his teachers with the explanation that the info is for their understanding, not for sympathy for R....that sympathy is the last thing he needs, and that he must be held to task like any other student. Maybe we've been lucky, but I have found that his teachers appreciate the extra info and are willing to learn about RAD.

Fran

waited2long · #3 10-14-2007, 04:57 PM

Talk to the school about getting those days assignments. Then he can do them during the ride, in the Doc's waiting rooms and later at home.

That should keep him caught up and there's no reason why the school would not co-operate.

qs mom · #4 10-14-2007, 06:18 PM

Are these appointments for M? At 7, could he assignments in the car? I know that my 7 year probably could not.

Howeverr, could you make arrangements for a tutor during a week when there is an appointment? The district should be able to comply. I know that when my son was suspended, a tutor HAD to be appointed for the 3 days.

Be sure to provide as much into as early as possible and in person if possible.

ajjhmf · #5 10-14-2007, 06:21 PM

Mom,

You may be able to have his IEP modified to accomodate these appointments. Get his assignments ahead of time and so on. I would start with his teacher, see what she says and go from there.

Jenny

***momraine*** · #6 10-14-2007, 06:28 PM

The problem I have is I have to make the appointments in the monring, because while my sister or dh can get the other kids to school, they cannot pick them up so I need to try to get back in time to pick up the other five kids. He can't do it during the ride, because he has only one hand, and no lap, he has tried and it just doesn't work. He also has trouble reading and I can't help him from the drivers seat when he is in back. He tends to drop things and we drive a big wheelchair van and so I can't reach him. If he drops something he can't get it. He keeps dropping things, just trying to get it out of the backpack and folder is almost impossible when sitting strapped into the wheelchair with only one hand and no table of any kind. We try to do some in the waiting room but often can't get it done. When we end up with appointments every week it's a pain. I don't know when we would meet with a tutor, since we are usually only gone for one day, and we are gone the whole day so we can't meet the tutor that day and the other days he goes to school. It's a pain to have to make up the work, they have thirty minutes at least of homework everyday, so to add the days work to that is fun, especially when there are six kids at home. We have discussed pulling the other kids out of thier extra curricular things, (M has been pulled out of everything) but we decided that they would resent M, they love thier things they do. But that means I have even less time in the evenings. With six kids, even though we have three adults in the evenings, it just keeps us busy.

***momraine*** · #7 10-14-2007, 06:34 PM

I like that idea of putting it in the IEP, we are having an ard soon. Right now everyting is kind of up in the air right now and nothing is regular yet. I do think I will put it in the IEP. His home room teacher this year is a good friend of mine and she is awesome, she told the the aid that while the child needed attention he did not need pity, but need firmness. I love her.
So I know she will be on my side.

qs mom · #8 10-14-2007, 07:03 PM

My thought on a tutor, was afterschool, before dinnertime. Which looks good, by what you put in your previous post. But, I'm only guessing. You could drop him at the tutor and pick up the rest of the kids! How relaxing!

I agree, work trying to get assignments ahead of time. I'm having my own trouble at school this year.

***momraine*** · #9 10-15-2007, 05:27 AM

I will try to get the assignments, the problem with the tutor is that we live ten miles from town. By the time I get home it's four and some days the little girls have to be at dance at 4:30, also since it's not every week, it would be hard to schedule those times, and if the tutor was not at school she would have to live in a wheelchair accesable house, this chair is big and it won't do well in most homes. Also I would be afraid that would be just one more person for him to con. I guess I will just send in the appointment dates as soon as I know them. So much of what they do in class though is hard to duplicate for me. Like they always play bingo with sounds, and the spelling tests and some of the other games the teacher uses, they are just not the same when done at home. The language arts teacher is big on using games to teach, the kids love them and it works, but it can't be done at home the same way. I will just keep chugging along and see what happens.

ajjhmf · #10 10-15-2007, 05:58 AM

Mom, here is another way to look at this...

School is important. Very important. But so is your son's mental/emotional health. He can always catch up in school, but th elonger you wait to treat the RAD the harder it gets. Also, once he's healthy, he can really learn rather than spend his energies manipulating.

Don't worry so much about what he's missing in the classroom, but focus on what he's going to gain in therapy.

***momraine*** · #11 10-15-2007, 08:28 AM

True, but he is already behind because of the langauge issue. He is very angry about being older than everyone in his class, so I don't want to make that worse. Everytime I think he is doing better he goes backwards and now my daughter is acting out. she has been home for almost 8 years and has always been very attached, but now she is really showing some of the same behaviors as M. I don't think she is having attachment issues so much as the fact that last year at this time she was the youngest of three, the only girl in the family and the only one with differences. Now she is the third of six kids in the house, one of three girls, there is someone with more differences than her, who goes to her doctor and her camps and such. Now he is taking my attention as well. I have started rocking her in the mornings too, after I do him. I just need to figure out how to get more hours in the day. Spend time with each kid, get enough sleep and do all the driving I have to do every day. LOL. I quit most of my classes and gave up all my volunteer work already.

Lorraine123 · #12 10-15-2007, 08:36 AM

I was in a similar situation at one point. My

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