[bostonbeagle]

Hi I was wondering about my foster son,he like to backtalk my husband? I have no idea why? Nothing in profile or history about any issues with dad! He never had a dad all his life! i was wondering if he is slowly attaching in his own way,but doesn't know how to handle it! He likes to push us away just a little bit! Other than that my honeymoon period is going very well lol lol!

Beleive with my last placement,I have been through the worse,this is icing on top of the cake!
But I would like him to listen to my husband a bit more than what he does? Any ideas? I know I can't expect the sun,moon,and the stars in 14 days! Well his encorpresis has decreased,a accident every other day now,and he is toileting himself more now,and going to bed when I asked!
Well good nite!
Beagle

[momagain5]

hey boston..how are you?how old is fosterchild?i would tell fosterson,one of the rules in your home is to be respectful.talking back is not allowed.this is nanabren,come to chat sometime.is this a foster-adopt placement?does he go to therapy?

[mrsred]

boston, you say he has never had a dad... that is part of the problem right there. He has no idea how to act toward or communicate with a man! We had the same thing when our now adopted daughter moved in. She was 9 1/2. She had a very hard time establishing a relationship with dh. It was like, she could accept me as Mom... but who the heck was this guy and why did he think he could tell her what to do? Once she even told him to "Mind your own business".
Hang in there... it does get better. She has been here a year and a half now and her relationship with Dad had improved dramatically. It helped a lot when he did things with her (and the boys) where he was just having fun, and not being a father. Like building sandcastles, going to a really silly movie... flying kites... cannonballing off the end of the dock... you get the idea.

[AmyAnne]

My son gave my husband a good go-round about respecting him and even simply not acting like a crazy person when I left the two of them alone. It went on almost a year.

What helped us was seeing a family therapist, and just all of us getting used to each other.

[Lorraine123]

He may be using this to triangulate the two of you. My daughter did that. I would not allow any attempt at this. Do not allow any disrespect. Leave him with your husband and force him to accept it. We told our daughter that whatever she did to one of us, she was doing it to both of us. Be sure he sees you backing up your husband 100%. Otherwise this behavior will worsen because he will see that he can separate you two.

[waited2long]

Combine all of the advice above...

Arrange more fun time with Dad
Have Dad do more parenting tasks
Support whatever Dad says

If that doesn't help, seek family therapy.