[zebramom]

To keep us laughing, what are some things you have said as a parent that you never thought you'd say? I'm not talking about feeling like you have become your mother/father because you said the same thing they did. I'm talking about the things that only foster/adoptive parents say.

EX: You may not verbally threaten to kill people, you may not make hand gestures like you're going to kill someone, you may not write that you want to hurt someone, etc. and listing all the "loopholes" that a child might use to get away with something.

If you're going to pee in your room, could you pee in a bucket instead?

[Lorraine123]

Said to my husband - "I'm not sure who peed on the family room carpet. Was it our dog or our daughter??"

[Barksum]

Do you need help getting the 5 carseats in the car, honey?

Who wiped the poop on the walls of the bathroom?

My favorite conversation was between my two foster children, two sibs. I overheard them in the bathroom getting ready for bed. The younger one was whining incessantly and the older one said, 'Will you cut it out? Maybe THEY can't hit you, but I can!' (And yes, we did address this, but had to wait until I could do it with a straight face. These kids did not have a dysfunctional relationship and this was 'normal' sibling conversation vs. abusive.)

[AmyAnne]

"Did you remember to put underpants on this morning?" My son for some reason refused to put them on (prolly a control thing)

[ajjhmf]

Said by me tonight..

"NO, you can't have anymore pop until you eat your ice cream!"

There are just so many things wrong with that statement. LOL

[Original Mike]

"If you're going to 'wrestle the python', would you please put away the hand lotion afterwards."

Also

"Which of you was looking at "Two Dollar Lesbians.com" and crashed the computer?

Teenagers, life's comic relief.

[Tudu]

"Would you please get off your Dad's new employee, he is not a toy."

Anytime we go anywhere I give the kids a run down of the behaviors I expect them to control. "Do not hug anyone except Mom or Dad. Do not touch anyone's privates. Do not touch your own privates. Do not sit on anyone and remember to maintain personal space. Do not hump anyone or anything. DO not hit your siblings or yourself. If you must throw a fit be sure to not break anything that is not yours."

[zebramom]

No, you may not shoot the BB gun while you're angry.

[momraine]

Don't throw your brother he is not a toy. Let your brother out of of the drawer/purse/backpack/suitcase, etc.

When you have the combinations of teens and a tiny, tiny kid without legs and with only one arm things happen like this. He can fit in the smallest places and the boys love to try out new ones.

[zebramom]

Honey, will you please bring me an extension cord so I can be on chat while out by the fire pit?

[aspenhall]

"keep chewing"

I say that a hundred million times a day...she puts food in her mouth and then sucks on it for hours...

[greenrobin]

To the baby with the cleft palate: do you need to clear your hole now or wait awhile?

[ajjhmf]

"Did you wash your hands?"

If I only had a nickle for everytime I've said that one...

[zebramom]

When phone call comes from school...

"What did he do now?"

[arkansas parent]

I have a few

"I don't care if pee didn't come out you still need to wash your hands"
I said this to T after he came out of the bathroom.

"Are you that hungry"
Said to T after he was eating boogers.

"Big bites"
T likes to nibble or lick his food.

"you better get in there and play your nintendo Wii".
I told A this today after she bought a $50 dollar game and was playing games to the internet for FREE.

"If it comes out of your butt it is poop"
T was very confused when he was a little constipated and his poop was round.

"You think a crab bit your what?"
T somehow pinched a very sensitve place while he was playing on the swing. He had seen something on TV about crabs.( the kind in the ocean!)