[zebramom]

Take your drugs- PLEASE!!!!!

[momraine]

I frequently have to say "it's not eating if you don't swallow" and "real bites please"
M likes to pretend to eat. The other day we had a covered dish at church and a comittee meeting right after and so for two hours M sat at a table (not my table, he insisted on sitting with a friend but I sat where I could see him) he pretended to eat and chew the entire two hours, people kept telling me what a good eater he was. I looked at his plate (which I had prepared for him) he had eaten exactly three tiny bites. He likes to touch things to his lip and then put them down. He will touch his lip with the same bite over and over and over before he actually puts any of it in his mouth and then he shoves it in his cheek and then pretends to chew and swallow with exagerated chewing and swallowing motions. He did fool most of the church, but not me! I see it every day.

[Barksum]

No chickens on the trampoline!

and

How would you feel if someone stole YOUR science project, threw it in the toilet and pee'd on it?!

[Lylac]

Stop licking the tv screen!!

and for B lately

Go ahead bang your head again, you didn't do it hard enough the last time.

we're still working on frustration issues , he's alot better, and if we don't baby him, he'll stop. He's not completely over the GA trip..I don't think.

[stevenstwin]

"DON'T call me to tell me who you are with and where you are going." (to a teen that will do that literally every 20 minutes even when I already know exactly where he is and he has my permission to be there).

"Don't forget I'm checking your tent for extension cords." (he likes to camp out in the back yard but will try to smuggle his gaming system out there and play it until daybreak).

and my personal favourite...
"You need to earn back your toilet seat".

[Lylac]

NOOOO poop isn't finger paint!!

[AmyAnne]

"No, I don't think I'm being unfair by not warning you that you would have to pay to replace the shampoo if you poured the entire bottle down the drain"

[ajjhmf]

Yes, using soap is a requirement when taking a shower. So is shampoo and don't look so shocked.

[Tudu]

I caught myself telling my youngest this morning for the 100th time. "You know if you bite off the tip of your big toes they bleed and I do not offer bandaids for self inflicted wounds." I am not refering to toe nals but the actual end of the toe, very strange.

[zebramom]

Two minutes ago---


DD comes to me with some dog poo that she was cleaning up (yes, it was from the dog) and she asked me..

"Do you want me to put the dog poo in the toilet upstairs or downstairs?" and I responded with...

"I want you to stick it up your nose."

[kay]

Ick! "Used condoms go in the trash, NOT on the cabinet in the living room, and NOT in the toilet!"

[Lorraine123]

to my 10 year old daughter last night -

"So, when you tongue kissed Michael, was Miles there too, or was that a separate time?"

[zebramom]

I hope someone is willing to press charges against my son. If not, I will call the police myself.

[Barksum]

Kay; just had to reply... There, that's it. LOL

[makarios79]

Everytime we walk out the door, my oldest kids (ages 1 & and almost 3) immediately go to screaming: It's hot, It's hot (because they want me to do something about it) ( We live in Florida, it's ALWAYS hot outside)

So the other day when they said it for the millionth time, I said what do you want me to do, call God and tell him to turn down the sun? (lol) They looked at me and said Um Hum, while nodding their heads yes.

Your brother's poop is none of your business

Please sit down and watch TV!!!! My kids DO NOT like watching TV and if I can get to watch it is only for like 5-10 min. Sometimes I need something to keep them occupied while I am trying to cook or clean

Stop calling the mailman daddy!
When my oldest son first came, he called every man he saw daddy. You can imagine, it was a little embarrasing at times to say the least.

Referring to my first foster son, who was full CC:
No, my son isn't mixed (or biracial), he is white! Then they'd look back at me like how'd that happen? (because I am a very dark AA woman)

Referring to my foster son and my 2 preadoptive sons to random people's question:
Yes, all of them are my kids. Yes they all have different fathers and as a matter of fact they have different mothers too.
No, the 2 little ones (who clearly look nothing alike) are not twins.
No, the 2 light skin ones (my preadoptive sons, one of which is over 3 ft tall and the other who is a little over 2 feet) aren't twins.

Referring to my preadoptive sons: Is your baby's daddy white? No, my baby's mama is.

No I am NOT a teen mother!