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This is the longest I have ever seen the board quiet, in the short time I have been here.

Just wanted to jazz things up...here is a question I recently threw barki's way (hi there! enjoyed chatting with you last night!)

How do you approach an adopted child entering the family about a disabled child already in the home??

I would appreciate you comments!

Laurie

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Originally Posted By barki

LOL I've not ever really mentioned this...it just never seemed pertinent. I'm a diabetic and take several daily insulin injections. I don't consider this a disability but since it is something that our family has to deal with on a daily basis I have had to decide how to handle this if we were to adopt a child who was older. My particular concern was if this child were to come from a home where he had witnessed illegal drug use.

This hasn't come up, but if it were to become an issue I would enlist the child's caseworker (if there were a relationship of trust between the cw and the child) and particularly the foster parents. This would entail me explaining to them what is involved with my disease and care and being sure they were aware of facts and not just rumor. LOL

I've had to hold conversations with children who've been around me on NUMEROUS occasions when I was testing my blood or doing an injection. The conversation usually goes something like this:

Child: WHAT'S THAT?!

Me: This is my medicine. I have a part inside my body that doesn't work any more. If I don't take this medicine I get really really sick. I test my blood to help me know how much medicine to take. My doctor has given me the medicine and the shots so that I can do this at home. I also have to watch what I eat and take very good care of myself so that I don't get sick.

Child: Does it hurt? (The injections. They never actually focus on anything else. LOL)

Me: Weelll, sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. Does it hurt when you get a shot?

Child: Yes!!

Me: Well it is kind of like that when I do my blood tests and shots.

Child: Oh. -- generally that ends the conversation and they run off and play. Some children want more info and we chat on about it, others are just fine with the minimal amount.

But I usually try to make some reference to how my shots are different from drugs, depending on the age and background of the child. I don't go into details with children under age 6 or so. With the older children I talk about how my doctor prescibes my insulin, and talk about what insulin is and what it does in our bodies. This helps to reassert that medicine is different from narcotic drug use, etc. I try to be very clear that it IS different and WHY.

I think that would be the key to explaining this type of thing to children in general: being matter of fact and just talking about it. Be factual, talk about misconceptions and also to be sure to keep the dialog going so that they can ask questions and know that you are willing to talk about it and it isn't a taboo subject.

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I have a cousin with cerebral palsy. She is also mentally disabled. I grew up knowing and loving my cousin as she is and so I didn't really think about it a great deal. I was almost an adult before I realized that some people are afraid of the physically and mentally disabled because they have never known anyone personally who was disabled. I think that the best way is to include pictures of all family members in a photo album for the child. I would not make an effort to specifically point out the disabilities but when questions arise, answer them truthfully and matter-of-factly. If you show your acceptance of the person with disabilities, you are modeling an appropriate behavior for the child. At some point you will probably have to help the child understand how to deal with the rudeness of strangers (because they will be rude sometimes) but I think the most important thing is for the child to understand that disabilities are not something to be ashamed of and that the disabled person is a valuable part of your family......I hope that helps.....Cheryl