[Barksum]

Ok, youngest Ds has to kick the bottle. Dentist said it is deforming his front teeth. (well, I'm thinking of all the buck-teethed people all over the world who didn't have a bottle past the age of 9 months, but whatever) Anyway, we're in day 3 of h-e-double hockey sticks.

This is our meth addicted son, who had some medical issues the first year that have mostly/somewhat resolved. He still has digestive problems that haven't quite resolved. He also has some underlying problem that we haven't been able to figure out. He can not tolerate any juices, so drinks only milk, water, and an herbal tea that rests well in his tummy.

Ok, so since we've cut off the bottle he has been screaming (he screams alot anyway, but now it is non-stop. literally.) and hitting, and pushing, and yelling, and not sleeping. Frankly I'm ready to run away. The tantrumming revs up all the other kids' issues and we're in a nut house.

He woke up screaming. He didn't sleep much the last two nights and I've been up and down with him, with screaming bouts in between. Very little nap time now, too, so I think he's not getting enough sleep which aggrivates the reflux/digestive issues and the tantrumming.

The baby (a year younger than youngest Ds) still needs HER bottle as she tends to not gain weight well. She's 18 months old so drinks out of cups, sippies and has 3 bottles per day. I can't get rid of alll the bottles in the house. Youngest Ds gets to watch Dd drink bottles, but can't have one.

So we have all the fall-out with the other kids, etc. and I'm going nuts. I'm wondering why wouldn't thousands of dollars worth of orthodontia later on be worth it now?? I feel really badly for Ds as he will be sobbing after yelling and hitting, and telling me he's 'sorry, Mommy, sorry!' but he can't get control of himself.

So...how important is NOT having buck teeth again?

[aMarylandfamily]

... lugged that bottle around til he was almost 4 - we finally said "one per day with water in it only" ... and he would carry it without drinking it until bedtime often ... and then just started setting it next to his bed and then started filling it and a character cup he had and used the cup more and more until the bottled water got stale even ... if you went "cold turkey", you may need to backtrack and do it a touch more gradual so its a natural letting go of it.

[Lylac]

Would he just tote around a nippless bottle? While actually only drinking from a sippy? Or have you tried the nuby cups with the softer spout. I dunno, just tossing out some things.

[athikers]

Our youngest came to us taking a bottle at bedtime and when he woke up - he was almost 2. We transitioned him to the soft tipped nuby sippy cups (sort of nipple like) after about a month, while keeping the same routine of one "bottle" in the morning and one at night. After about a month of soft tipped cups, we ditched the morning feeding and just a couple weeks after that we would give him the evening "bottle" only in a hard sippy cup. He didn't like it and stopped complaining shortly after that. But, the gradual approach worked well for us.

[Barksum]

I do still do bottles for nap and bed. I don't have the guts for TOTAL cold turkey...! He will drink from a sippy at meals. The nubbies didn't work so hot when we introduced them a bit ago. He doesn't need bottles for physical nourishment, but it is still very much an emotional thing. I think he may have some dysmaturity in some areas. Our older son had his bottle for YEARS. I Think we finally were able to wean to sippy cups when he was almost 4. He still wants sippies at bed.

I had a long talk with my sister and she said pretty much the same thing. 'Honey, if his teeth are so maleable now they probably aren't going to harden into place over night. Give it a few months but be in charge of the bottle at only given times during the day.' I guess I don't have to be and make it happen RIGHT NOW.

Thanks for the suggestions and help. I don't do well with too little sleep, so I was ready to go back to bed and make all the kids stay in theirs. (As if!)

Ds played and tantrummed intermitantly this a.m., then when he was winding up for, but not yet having, another tantrum I told him it was nap time and popped a bottle in his mouth and plunked him into bed. (I know, I know, baby bottle tooth decay...but his teeth are fine THAT way, just bucky.) He's been blissfully sleeping for almost an hour, so should have 2 more hours of nap...we'll see!

[momraine]

We did the gradual transition too. We did only water in bottles, good stuff (juice, milk, chocolate milk, etc) were all in sippy cups and the child would have a choice for the first week or two of the water in the bottle or the whatever in the sippy cup. Then once we had established that bottles were for water only. (I think with one of the boys he screamed when water was in the bottle so I started by watering down his milk, 2/4 milk and 1/4 water for two days and then half and half and then 1/4 milk and then finally we ended up with all water. Anyway, once they were drinking water out of the bottle we made the rule that bottle was for bed only. (we did the same with the pacifier, it was only for bed) so they could go sit on the bed with the bottle if they wanted it, but had to leave it on the bed, so if they wanted to play or watch TV or be with mom they had to leave the bottle in the bed. Later we started putting less and less in so soon there was only an ounce. Eventually it was easier to take away. I do seem to remember we used a birthday and putting a cute character cup of water by the bed. Since they were now a big kid.

[GCS]

You have got to do this cold turkey - you can not give him bottles for naps (from my experience). I kept my youngest on a bottle way too long and was getting yelled at by drs and dentists. I used it for attachment issues and then getting her off was murder. I tried to wean - made her more angry. So I went cold turkey. I tried the softer nubs sippy cups and she would throw them. Usually at me. It was 5 days of me hoping she was not going to dehydrate and then just like that it was done.

I told her I threw the bottles away and that they were gone (which I really did because I was afraid I would weaken from the screaming and just give in!)

You obviously can not do that since you have a younger child. My suggestion is do everything you can to hide that childs' bottles from his sight until the time has passed. Its been 9 months since shes been off the bottle now. Just last week we were out and saw a toddler with the same bottles we used to use and she started crying for it. I think out of sight is out of mind as much as you can at first.

I feel for you!
Christina

[DebCsMom]

Our DD is almost 5. She has PDD, an Autism Spectrum Disorder. Having a bottle is how she calms herself down. It usually just sits in her mouth, not drinking it much. Now though she rarely has it. She has it at bedtime to fall asleep. She drinks a couple ounces & thats it.

Yes, she does have dental problems. They can be fixed. To put her through taking the bottle away would have been too much for her to handle. It's her security, how she calms down. She is #4 of 5 children, all who were off the bottle before a year old but who also do not have mental health issues.

If it is possible to make the transition easily, without causing more stress on a child then needed, then go cold turkey. If not, do it slowly. Our DD is taking herself off, at her pace & readiness.

GOOD LUCK!

Deb

[mrsred]

I'm with momraine on this one. The bottle gets water only, and I would let him have it as often and when ever he wanted it... but only with water. It is njot nearly as apealing that way and he will eventually wean himself.
I would be more worried about what the milk and juices do to his teeth (have done dental screening at schools, and it is not a pretty site. Even if baby teeth are healthy, it weakens the permanent teeth). Besides... I have two in expanders right now in preparation for braces. don't know about dd as she was adopted at age 10, but know that ds (bio son) was a beast fed baby, and only took water in a bottle at night for a few months after being weaned off breast, never sucked his thumb, never took a pacifier. So sometimes they need braces no matter what.

[tvs4]

Our daugther and FS were a little over two and we decided they needed to kick the bottle habit. I'm not sure how this will work in your family but with ours we talked about the "bottle fairy" who would come and bring you a toy when you left out your bottles. We even drew out a little story so they could imagine this happening. I said, "tell me when you are ready" for the bottle fairy to come and you will get a new toy.

A few days after letting this sink in, one night we did a little ritual where we left all the bottles on the table for the bottle fairy. I asked what toy they wanted from the bottle fairy (at that point I was willing to go out that night and buy just about anything) but their requests were very simple. So, the next morning the bottles were gone and they got a new toy. They only asked about it a few times and I would remind them the bottle fairy had come and left them a new toy in place of the bottle.

It seemed to work for us. I'm not sure it will work for everyone.

Maybe you could wait a few months until the 18 month old can also quit bottles and then all bottles can be gone from the house.

[Barksum]

We are making progress - slowly, but progress. We tried the soft tip sippies again, but he doesn't want those at all. We got the other sippies out and he'll tolerate those, for the most part. He gets 3 bottles a day with water mixed with milk. He doesn't do juice, but he gets real milk and his herbal 'tea' drink in the sippies.

We still have a few tantrums per day, but not the constant screaming. I really did think I was going to go crazy. I was contemplating making reservations to go to the Galapagos or something! The rest of the family was having trouble functioning amidst the constant screaming as well, so we were probably going to have to call Nanny 911 and let her take care of Ds while the rest of us went camping in the silent wilderness somewhere.

Additionally, Dd now wants sippies when brother has sippies, so she drinks from those now more, too, in addition to her 3 bottles per day. She was actually drinking from real cups, but I'm not going to be too uptight about that.

They'll both be drinking from real cups by the time they head off to college, right? (That wasn't a rhetorical question. I'm really asking! )

[momraine]

I let my kids use the sippies for a longer time because they were leakproof! I loved not having to deal with spills! Then one year for christmas both boys (my older boys are 19 months apart) got cool regular cups with characters of some sort on them, then they started wanting those at every meal. Now, none of my kids uses a sippy and they are 7, 7, 12, 14.

[cherrymom]

I have an almost three year old who still takes a bottle (I know boo, hiss yell - I've heard it all) She has severe reflux and cannot drink from a cup and the only sippy she'll use are the soft top nubby kind - which is essentially a bottle. The dr was flipping out at me until she lost two pounds when I took her off. She needs her bottle, it's that or tube feeding so I'm sticking to the bottle. She never gets it to go to bed and she only gets it with her formula in it, three times a day after meals, unless I need to rehydrate her. But boy do you get the looks, people think your crazy, a negligent parent and all kinds of things. I even had an older lady come up to me at Walmart and tell my dd that she was too old for a bottle that they were for "babies". She looked at her, then at me and said "I'm mamma's baby". Like "so there" It was great. I think you have to do what's right for your child and not lose your sanity because of it. Good luck!

[Barksum]

ROFL, Cherry. My older Ds had reflux so we were pretty used to having to be careful and do things at his 'tummy's' pace, so with the younger one I didn't care that he still had a bottle...until the whole flipping out dentist visit. The older Ds had his bottle until he was almost 4. He also has had developmental delays and I think that emotionally he wasn't really ready to give up the bottle. He still would like one, but we make do with a sippy for him before bed - and he's almost 6.

So taking the sane approach with our younger Ds makes life so much better. I get perfectionistic about things and have to be reminded to chill.

I just love your daughter's response! LOL And we've had looks...upon looks...upon LOOKS because we have various kids who are in various stages of maturity, and these don't all line up with their chronological ages in many areas. People really wig out about bottles and potty training in particular, though. A 3 year old who isn't potty trained and has a bottle?! OH MY WORD!!

[Lylac]

HA!! Both of my kids still drink from sippy cups. L drinks from a regular cup when we eat though. And both still wears diapers. I don't care what folks say.