[lucyjoy]

The psych hospital does fill that my oldest son has paranoid schizephrenia. Not what I wanted to hear. I'm not coping with this too well and really just want to run from all the drama.

Son has been living in a basement apartment and the woman who lives upstairs kinda has taken a mother role with my son. She has 5 kids of her own. However, they lead a different life style then we do which includes her hubby smoking pot with my son. She said they do this to sleep. Told her it was a bad idea for that to continue.

Anyway, now they want us to attend therapy with son tomorrow night to help fill in the missing pieces. I don't want to but I know he needs me too, so I will.

So, tomorrow am I have to find someone to watch S after school, take M to the airport to leave for KY, attend therapy with my oldest and then Wed go to court with R. Sound fun? Didn't thing so either.

Can I throw an "it's not fair" tantrum? And what happens when I can't handle any of this anymore? Do I get a rubber room?

[tybeemarie]

Wow.

When I was in college, my college sweetheart used to call this brownie I liked to eat at this hipster cafe the Maximum Density Brownie, because it was so chocolatey.

I think you have a Maximum Density Brownie situation, but instead of being chocolatey, it is just beyond the pale and unendurable. I have no idea how you do this and live. And David Blaine thinks he's amazing! Please! For you, living in a plastic box suspended over the streets of Manhattan would be a Shangra La of relaxation and comfort.

I have no words of advice. What could I possibly say? What do I know about suffering compared to you? What do I know about chaos? I am a rank novice.

I can and do offer you my heartfelt sympathy and admiration. I join you in finding this to be all too much. I keep you in my prayers. I am really sorry this is so unbelievably hard. It's like a reality show without the prizes.

[AmyAnne]

Originally Posted by tybeemarie

It's like a reality show without the prizes.

Can i make this my quote, Tybee??

and Lucy... HUGS to you. Lots of hugs. I know this is a lot to handle.

[Lylac]

Exactly what Barki said!! Sending prayers & hugz (the hershey kind)

[Barksum]

Wait. Did I reply yet? I'm soooo lost.....

A couple of suggestions:

1.) Call in sick. Preferably with something that requires you to be quarantined to a hospital room with 500 chanels of tv, high speed internet, chocolate delivery service, and nurses.

2.) Paint the interior - and exterior if you want - of your home peptobismal pink. I've heard that this is calming for persons who have trouble regulating their emotions. (NOT YOU, silly, everyone else who comes through the door.) Seriously, there was some research suggesting...well, whatever.

3.) Make this week your "Meryl Streep in 'The Devil Wears Prada' Week". Whenever you give directions say them nicely and precisely, and then end them with a pleasant, 'That's all.' Practise your smile and unconcerned voice while watching the DVD.

Ok, I'm out of ideas. Will be thinking of you tomorrow, though, and pray that it all gets done with minimal fuss.

[Lorraine123]

paranoid schizephrenia - that is so scary, but I'm sure you aren't surprised based on his behavior. Somewhere in his mind, he knew you were a safe person. He turned to you. Don't know if that is necessarily good or bad, but you will always be his mom. Wish I knew what the magic was to make it all better. Hugs to you Lucy.

[skirbo]

Wow. If God doesn't give us more than he knows we can handle-he must really think a lot of you. At least as much as the rest of us do. As difficult as all of this must be to handle all at once, I'm confident that you have the strength to do it. You are an amazing woman.

But I second the chocolate anyway. Any excuse is a good excuse.

Sarah

[kburch]

Wow. Prayers and hugs and, well, wow.

[Lylac]

Whoops!! My mind was thinking tybee, but my keyboard was thinking Barki.. Shows ya what kind of week I'm having, and it's only Tue.

But the prayers & hugz are still from me!!

[Tudu]

Lucy, I would hide under my bed untl the storm passes. I know you will do the right thing, though.

[lucyjoy]

Okay-one down-M did get on the plane to go to job corps despite his "friends" many attempts to talk him out of it. He sees that their lives aren't going anywhere and he wants more for himself. Yeah M, hope he sticks with this. Was hard to watch my baby leave to go so far away but it will be good for him.

Got home to fine Ru waiting for me. He needs a ride to court tomorrow. He wanted to know what I thought would happen if he pleaded guilty(think Mr. kburch got through to him a bit). He says the other two will be mad if he does. Will be interesting to see what happens. While I hate to see him in jail, I would like to see him own up to his choices. He says RA wants to move with him to springfield. He told him he needed to get settled first and see if he could find both of them jobs and then he'd see if RA still wanted to come(look-logical thought!!!!) He also said RA was afraid to drive by here at all as he doesn't want to go back to jail. That's good. Not sure what sentence comes with his charges that are pending. He apparently got a pit bull that is at his bmom's house(they're illegal here). Dumb move.

RA was full of info. B is now actively selling drugs but not using. K is using daily. They are moving out of state as they think I have filed to take the baby from them. I didn't. B has a job lined up but his mom is dumping his 14 year old very disturbed younger sister on them as part of the deal for their rent. She's suppose to help with babysitting. Oh good. DH and are are hoping B's gma takes baby A with her. B is also planning to break into my house to steal my laptop, the xbox and mess up my wireless internet. Okay. Suppose if he needs to steal it, he must need it worse then me. I know better then to have "things" that belong to me.

S managed after school for the 15 min before I got here.

Anyone want to come visit? I need someone to impersonate me to make appointments, help me clean up the mess here, help me do a moving sale, and help me fix up the house to sell. DH needs a new resume and a line on some good out of town jobs. Doesn't that sound like a fun vacation? It includes walking and dodging flying bottles from car windows(does that burn more calories?), possible shootings, and crazy ranting from T. Any takers? Anyone?

I don't think the bible actually says God doesn't hand us more then we can bare. I'm way past what I can deal with. I believe it says that God will not leave us in our times of struggle. I appreciate the phone calls, emails, and people to answer my calls that interupt their days. It helps and it matters-thank you.

[Lorraine123]

I'm glad to hear that M got on the plane. That was the best thing for him. Obviously he knows that too.

Also glad Ru is seeming to take some responsiblity for himself. Maybe some small part of him is getting it. Maybe?

As for B, there is nothing you can do except worry. I can't tell you not to worry because I know you will. I hope that baby A gets what he needs.

I would come and impersonate you, but I don't think I would pass. What do you think?

[lucyjoy]

You can pass for me-on the phone. You can argue for services for T, figure out my dental insurance and make appointments for the kiddis, make doctors appointments, call real estate agents, write resumes, search jobs etc. I know that all sounds like fun. And you could tell T you were me and he just imagined I looked different. He'd fall for it.

And hey, for house maintenence, moving sale and cleaning, just look crazy and over tired and everyone will think your me.

(What, this doesn't sound as fun as wine and cowboys?)

[momraine]

Lucy I don't know how you handle all this! I keep you and your crazy family in my prayers, especially that baby and you!
Lorraine

[kay]

Can't come visit, unfortunately - and I don't think I'd do half the job of "being you" that you do! Sounds like there are baby steps of progress, just hard to celebrate in the mass confusion/insanity! M did get on that airplane! That's been a long time coming, and hooray for him and for you on that one! As for B, it sounds promising that he's moving, even if it's for the wrong reason (running away from you?) We just pray for the best for baby A. Sounds like a good conversation with Ru, too - maybe he'll be turning a corner. S managed unsupervised for 15 minutes? - that's a big deal, congrats to him! Just one little step at a time - and know that we're all pulling for you and praying for you!!