[lucyjoy]

Having a difficult time with my son's care of his baby.

He feels that at 18 months, his son should be able to entertain himself. Now, I agree that you can give them a toy and they'll play with it a bit but in my observation, it's a very short amount of time before they need more stimulation and interaction.

Now I'm grandma and use to attachment disordered kids, so maybe I'm just spoiling him?

[riverview]

my 18 mo old cannot entertain himself for more than 2 minutes, generally around 2 is a better guage for indiv play, IMO.

[zebramom]

You are absolutely right. He should not be expected to "entertain himself". He's just not old enough.

He needs to be taught how to play, and what toys are for and how they work.

B is being irresponsible!

[ajjhmf]

Most kids can't entertain themselves for more than a couple minutes at that age. Also, that is an age of key language development. A needs constant verbal stimulation right now. You are very right to be playing with him. Even when he is playing by himself, he needs someone talking to him and responding to his babbles and words.

[leenab]

At 18 months I would say no way. All of our kiddos have been young and they just can't entertain themselves at that age. K is about to turn 3 and still doesn't entertain himself for long periods of time. He'll play on the floor in what ever room I'm in, but every 2-3 minutes it's "Mommy, get elmo" , "help me", "want some juice", etc.

I agree with others, at that point children need a lot of interaction.

I don't think that big slef entertaining leap really happens until the late 3s and early 4s.

-Leena

[mrsred]

Even if he can entertain himself at 18 months, what does he learn? Toddler's need to have human interaction, they need to learn how to play and interact with other people. I am sure my adopted son "entertained" himself just fine at 18 months... he just didn't learn how to talk, or to interact with others. When he went into foster care at 3 years and 9 months he could talk, but not have a conversation. He learned to talk by imitating the sounds from the television, but had no idea how to ask or answer a simple question. At five, when we got him, he could parellel play, but didn't know how to play with someone else. And now, at almost 8 years old he is still paying the price of the lack of interaction when he was a toddler. He still entertains himself quite well, but his social delays are very apparent.
We have the greatest potential for neuron connections in the brain during the first three years of life. It is our responsibility to take advantage of this and stimulate these little brains!

[Barksum]

Ok, chiming in late. (Busy season in my life, what can I say? ...other than it is ALWAYS a busy season in my life, but we won't go there.)

18 month old children do need some time to play independantly. HOWEVER, independant play at 18 months old is never unsupervised and should be done with a parent in the room who interacts with the child as the child plays. Independant at 18 months old is way different than independant at 8 years old.

My 19 month old plays at my feet, usually putting things into something and then taking them out. Endlessly. (It's a phase.) Then she hands them to me and takes them back. This is independant in that I don't initiate what we play, she does. She picks the objects, she puts them where she wants, she gives them and takes them back.

I interact with her sometimes during this play, but often I am reading to other kids, cooking, blah blah blah. When I do interact with her it is still on her terms; I say, 'Thank you!' when she gives me something and she echoes me. I say, 'Please hand me the ___," as she is raising her hand to place something in mine, and she mimics that, too. So independant as in entertaining herself alone somewhere quietly without supervision or interaction, no. That, at this age, would not be 'independant', but 'neglect'.

Like Mrsred, we too have a child whom was mostly left alone. He came into foster care, then reunified with bio mom, then came into foster care and was eventually adopted by us. When he came into foster care the 2nd time he had totally shut down. I guess he was the ultimate 'easy toddler' at that point as he could 'entertain' himself very well. In fact, he didn't do anything. Quit walking, quit talking, no longer cried, etc. Just sat there. He was the perfect example of the Daniel Defoe quote, 'To neglect a child is to kill them.' (Happily his fm was savvy and worked CEASELESSLY with him, doing everything she could think of - and then some! - to stimulate his little brain back into human interaction. It worked, too. There are scars, though.)

I hate that quote because it is too true and too graphic for me to contemplate.

[momraine]

This is also an age where it's very, very important to be talking to the child. They are learning language really fast and so parents need to be constantly talking to them. They also can get into danger quickly, it's amazing the creative ways a little one can find to get hurt, so they have to be where parents can see them at all times.

[joskids]

My 17 month old can entertain herself -- picking up things off the floor that no one else could see without a microscope, unrolling the toilet paper, climbing on things that could get her hurt, pulling off her shoes and diaper. I prefer to spend all of my time with her unless she is napping. Life's too short and they're so worth spending time with at this age.