[Eighty8Keys]

It has been a very long time since I last visited this board - we adopted our 3 and 5 year olds in February - woohoo! Their "weird" behaviors had been subsiding until this past week. 5 year old DD started stealing at school again, and our now 4 year old tantruming more violently than ever (spitting at me, kicking, hitting, etc. - plain refusal do to what I want unless he throws a tantrum although typically does anything for my DH. Thank God Dh is so understanding and supportive! I think we may have been getting too lax with our RAD parenting and they have been capitalizing on it. So it was back to hanging out with mom every minute yesterday...went pretty well until bedtime and then DD started the waterworks - I told to her to go ahead and cry as much as possible but she was still going to bed at her bedtime. Amazing how she turned it off when I gave her "permission" to cry...sigh...does it get better? Overall we have seen major improvements in their behaviors, but times like the past few days it is so hard to look at the big picture.

To top it off, I awoke at 2am with stomach flu - 4 year old DS awoke 20 minutes later with same thing. Dh had to go to work (he has missed so much the past few months due to the illnesses and deaths of his parents.) So, now here I sit struggling to get up and take care of 4 year old...(family friend took 5 year old DD to kindergarten for me) Gotta love it, eh??

I think the major thing bothering me right now is the 4 year olds tantrums - any advice?? I usually let him rage it out, but he has really directed the anger at me the past 2 tantrums. He will usually just cry and scream, and then when it is over I hold and rock him. He was actually so enraged Sunday night about taking a bath that his nose started to bleed! Once he calmed down, he clung to me and then took his bath and went to bed without incident...any RAD experiences with young kids for any of you folks??

[suburbanmomgw]

UGH! I hope you feel better! That's miserable.

As for RAD--It's nuts. My DS is almost 5--I haven't figured it all out... I have/am doing a lot of reading about it. Keeping the control YOURS is important... And keeping your tone even... THAT's hard!
Anyway, hugs to you! Mine is throwing a fit--gottat go!

[zebramom]

88, quick question for you. You said things were going along pretty well, and then they took a turn....

Are there any anniversaries around now that may have set things off? Birthday, adoption day, move in day?

Anniversaries tend to set our kids off, and they have an internal clock that knows when they are, even if they can't read a calendar.

Hugs to you, it's hard to backtrack when things were going well.

[Eighty8Keys]

Yes, Zebramom - Ds turned 4 on Easter, and April is the month they first went into foster care 3 years ago. (we are their 5th home including birthhome...) Our RAD therapist told us to keep a lookout for regressive behaviors, and boy was she right! Things had been going so well in fact the she reduced our appointments to every other week instead of once a week - guess we'll just see how long the regression occurs. And 5 year old DD wouldn't eat supper tonight...sigh...she had the flu last week so I'm sure it wasn't because she was coming down with that...oh well, tomorrow is another day!