[Cristi727]

I have posted before and explained about my AS. He came to us at 7, he is now 10, and was basically a feral child. He was severally neglected and abused the first 7 years of his life and has since been labled with Sensory Integration Disorder.

He have had him placed in public school since his placement with our family in Oct 2003 where we always worked side by side with the teachers and special needs department. Recently a new public school was opened, boundry lines were drawn, and my son was transfered to the new school. Here his needs have been ignored. He has daytime enuresis, pantwetting, because he can not feel when his bladder is full, or when he wets himself. This being said I let his teacher know on the first day of school he would have to be able to use the bathroom whenever needed and/or call me if he needed a change of clothing. I recently found out that if he leaves for the bathroom his points/grades are docked! Along with that the lunch room isn't acknowledging his adoptive name, and will not take lunch money from him because they are calling him by his birth name. He has had this problem for several months and I have even been to speak to the lunch cafeteria supervisor with his adoption order. They don't realize how determental this is to my sons identity. He has been working out these things in counsling for 3 plus years and adults, who are suppossed to be sensitive to his needs, are only hindering him.
Lastly he seems to be "labeled" and I recieve calls or letters daily regarding his "behavior". The things they are expecting of him on a disciplinary level are way off. He might be ten but he is socially the age of around a 7 year old, due to his history, and he should be held to those standards.
Noone has even bothered to read his records or files, and his homeroom and special needs teacher do not return our pre-emtive letters or calls. Teachers are litterally writing comments on his report cards saying he could, and must try. That he is just silly and immature, etc. This makes my heart hurt. They are just seeing a normal looking boy on the outside and mis-judging his behavior and educational needs.
We have no choice but to pull him out of the school, he has fallen even further behind, and now is dealing with be socially mislabled.
My husband is at his IEP right now. We decided it would be best for him to represent our family because I am afraid I will become too emotional when my son is once again blamed for their mistakes. Granted he is not perfect but they have never tried to help, even saying that his Sensory Disorder isn't mentioned in his files!
Luckily we are blessed that I am a stay at home mom who has 2 degrees and my CBEST, a ca. test allowing you to teach in ca.
I just feel that pulling him is allowing them to win, we just can't have them mistreating our son and using him as their out anylonger.

[kay]

The public school has to address his needs, by law, don't they? It sounds like it's time for a visit to the school board, and if they're not responsive, then to an attorney. Easily said, harder done, I know. Have you asked that he be returned to his old school? I am appalled that this is happening. And they're not accepting his adoption order for the name change? Unbelievable!!! Will be interested to hear what happens with the IEP meeting today, please keep us posted.

(As to homeschooling, while I know that many do that successfully, I too have the degree and the C-BEST card, and I could no more teach my son than fly to the moon! Extreme kudos to you if you can do this!!)

[JGarrick]

In Minnesota we have an advocacy organization called PACER that specializes in understanding education law. I haven't needed to work with them personally, but I've spoken with parents who have and have been told that they can get results with a phone call, apparently because they understand exactly what's required and know the buttons to push to get things to happen. They are at Parent Advocacy Coalition for Educational Rights. It's not CA specific, but has a lot of good general info. Their national links directed me to a CA organization called Exceptional Parents Unlimited. They seem to have a similar mission, and can be found at Welcome to Exceptional Parents Unlimited

[momraine]

This may not make you feel a lot better, but one thing to remember if you decide to fight. You are not just fighting for your son. You are fighting for other kids. I recntly made it a point to thank the mother of a boy in middle school for fighting when he was in Elementary school. He has a similar condition to my son, and paved the way and made life so much easier for my son because this other mother fought for her son. Other children have benefited from her fight. Others will benefit from yours too, but only you can decide if it's worth it. Sometimes, it's just not worth it if it will hurt your family.

[skirbo]

Is the old school in the current school system? Perhaps the prior teacher could write a letter. Either way, time to call the superintendent and the board and get something done.

Sometimes people won't do what they should do unless you hold their feet to the fire.

Do you work?? If the law still permits, you could sit in his classroom with him to 'observe' for a while.

Sarah

[qs mom]

Well, let me say, that I have 'stooped' to playing on the principal's sympathies. I was called into a meeting with the principal and my son's K teacher. They bothe adored him. But they weren't sure that he was in the right place. I told them a lot - right or wrong - about my son's beginnings. I really laid on the sad things. Both of them were on the brink of tears and thought my son was the toughest, bravest soul they've ever met by the time I was done.

We all decided to give him a few weeks to see how things worked out and he stayed.

I guess it doesn't hurt that I was working with 2 women.

When I go into an IEP meeting, I bring every IEP, every update, my son's communication notebook, my son's progress reports, dr. reports with me. I let them speak. Our group, stops for discussion after each item on the IEP. I don't sit back and just agree. I've really pushed on some things.

Get his special needs - bathroom breaks, name requirements, etc in the IEP. Really play up the negative effects of calling by the wrong name and 'possibly' this could be contributing to his behavior problems.

I think I would make it a point to call those people that get his name right by wrong name. Mrs. Jone, oh, I'm sorry, you're Mrs. Smith, I was just checking to see if you have my son's name correctly. Thank you Mrs. Jones. OH, gee, I did it again. I just don't know WHY I keep doing that. I'm sorry. Maybe I'll get it right next time I talk with you.

What about a private therapist or social worker that worked with you? Could you bring them as an advocate for you child?

Another thing that you should know - you can call an IEP meeting at anytime. The Committee for Special Ed (that is what it is here) must schedule an emergency meeting at your request. So, if you don't see his IEP being adhered to, or you feel you need something more written into - call a meeting. Get everything written into the IEP - call the teacher out for not following the IEP.