[lucyjoy]

Not new that T wants a new family as we are not the one he wanted. I got someone from church to start working with him on independent living skills that he won't learn from us. T has talked to this man all of twice(man does know about T's issues). Today, T wanted to call him and see if he would adopt him.

Then, he asks me if I posted his picture on the internet so he could get another family.


This kid has been so nasty to me and caused so much trouble here with the other kids. I have worked so hard to help this kid and I so resent his attitude.

Currently looking for serious long term respite since I can't seem to get him moved. He really needs to be in a group home or situation with daily mental health care. I did look at places to live today as well where I can take the other kids and leave T with dh. I just have zero left for this kid and he's doing so much damage to everyone here.

He treats us like he did us a favor by letting us adopt him. He has zero interest in what families are suppose to be like. I am so angry at this kid right now.

[crick]

almost makes you want to respond with a "yes, I posted your pic on the website and a chicken poop farmer needs a kid to shovel for him all day, are you interested?"

Honestly...if you find it easy to move out until he turns 18, might be better than the stress and energy trying to find him a group home. You've done more than any parent should ever have to do. Time to focus on S & D and yourself....just my thought.

((HUGS))

[chrissy2]

I acted out as a late tean (I was really bad). I was not dealing with was was in my head. At 17, there was a family vote and I was told I had to write an essay stating why I should not be made a ward of the court. I said, go ahead. My dad, no matter how disappointed, disgusted and mad at me, stood up and said, no to the rest of the family, "I will not let your do this to her". It changed so much. I graduated and went on to earn not one, but two degrees. As a ward of the court, I think we can all agree that the outcome would not be the same.

I was that nasty horrible tean because I did not feel a sense of belonging or worth (no blame to my parents, here) - so, I was going to do my best at being disfunctional. I read your posting and want to scream NO - don't give T the final reason to believe he doesn't belong.

If my dad had not taken a stand for me than, I would have completely given up on myself. Again, I don't know what has lead you up to this. And, if I am simply projecting (as is probably the case), I am so very sorry!

[crick]

chrissy2...thanks for your input...

I don't know if you had reactive attachment disorder or other attachment issues, but Lucy's son does and is far more than just an "angry rebellious teen". If Lucy's son was just a rebellious teen she wouldn't be contemplating this kind of thing.

[momraine]

Chrissy, it's good for us to remember how the kids can feel sometimes. Though to be honest with you, there is way more going on in this case, and T's parents have more than once stood up for him and helped him more than you can know. Angry and rebellious doesn't even touch the surface. Lucy has already gone way farther than most of us would go for this kid. I know I would have given up a long time ago.

[Lorraine123]

Have you looked further into finding another therapist who will fill out the forms for the group home? to me, that seems a better alternative than split-living.

[lucyjoy]

Still working on the therapist angle as well. So far, no luck.

[ajjhmf]

Any chance the group that helped you find a placement for R can get you help for T?

Sorry things are so bad right now. Sending you thoughts and prayers.

[Indy]

Why not ask him if "you" can post on the adoption board that is looking for new kids? I know, it will probably escalate things. It just seems that T can say anything and get away with it AND you have to be "nice".

Just once, I would like to see you get the upper hand...just once!