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Originally Posted By Pam

It's been a little over a week now and the kids are all at a friend's house, which doesn't happen much (oh! this is excluding my 16 year old, who is out with boyfriend). The best word to describe it so far is "challenging." Rayon is not a difficult child at all (minus that one bad day). He is fairly easygoing and playful and does not exhibit any bizarre behaviors. What is tiring is the addition of one more child. That's one more child that the other kids can tease or tattle on or who tattles or who is hungry or who is tired or who is crabby or who decides it's his turn, etc. etc. etc. I'm very tired. Although Rayon has gotten the closest to my son Raphael, who is 12, and they get along much more often than not, they sometimes go back and forth at each other too. Rayon, who is mature in many ways, relates far more to my immature 12 year old than to my immature 7 year old (he is 8). It sort of sometimes seems to turn into two and two (Raphael and Rayon and Lucas and NIcole). Rayon is NOT looking forward to school and I'm looking forward to sending him to school. I homeschool the other boys. Rayon has a history of slacking off in school, not trying as hard as he could, etc. and I have a history of not liking to deal with angry teachers, etc. But for six months we can manage. Maybe, if Raphael and Rayon are seperated for six hours a day while they are still adjusting to each other, I will get a respite. At any rate, the school year is completely over in a month. In Wisconsin, you can not homeschool any child unless you have given birth to or legally adopted him, and Rayon is six months away from being adopted. When I look back at posts of people who are adopting sibs (sometimes multiple sibs) I just take my hat off to them....I always have a tiring adjustment to just one, if the child is an older one (didn't have a big adjustment with infant daughter, when we adopted her). I think Rayon is doing a great job adjusting, although I'd like to get him into counseling. He is convinced that one of his foster moms (whose house was closed to foster care) "got rid of me" and it is a deep scar within him. I guess nobody explained much to him. He doesn't believe that she didn't "get rid of him". He is sometimes prone to saying "I'm stupid." Sometimes if i tell him I love him, he says "No, you don't" if he is angry. Usually, he is pretty cheerful, although he did say it was hard to move to WIsconsin from Delaware. I would have to say that this child is probably one of the easiest kids we could have gotten from foster care and, with time, I think he will do very well. He is about on a par with how Raphael adjusted, and Raphael, at this point in time, is just an angel (and I mean it...a very special boy). Tomorrow we take Rayon to his new school to see it. He is not happy about it, but I think he'll be fine once he's going there. I remember being exhausted like this when Raphael first came, but I can't remember how long it lasted. At any rate, just a fast update....have a great night

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... hearing those who adopted talk about the additional work but like the experts on kids who don't have them always shuffled it off determined I/We would never get that way ... well feeding two extra mouths and the laundry and the squabble resolutions, etc. etc and we joined forces ... this means your good motherhood skills are activated and working great. Keep up the hard (and tiring) work and keep updating.

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Originally Posted By louise

when Raphael came home? I recall reading some of your posts back then and you were very tired. I know you know, this too shall pass but, man, it's tough when you're in the middle of it. Our littlest one, ds 7, arrived home to us 4 months ago. He's doing a great job adjusting and it's a work in progress for him and the rest of us. We just got through his birthday party [today!!] I'm exhausted. Ben and our other kids, however, are still enjoying the 'Fun Jump' apparatus in the backyard!!! Louise