[Blackcat66]

I'll try to hit the most important points of this situation, so here goes.

We had an out of state adoptive placement with siblings that ended about a month ago. AS had major issues, so placment ended. AS is in an RTC type setting in sending state and most likely will be there long-term with maybe no potential for adoption or return to living with his Sister. AD returned with AS even though this was a great match for her/us. We didn't have any options presented to us at this point and didn't feel we had the right to make any type of decision about splitting them up.

We have been keeping in contact with the Foster Parents and just found out that AS is not living there, but in RTCm, so to us this changes everything. We just proposed to their SW on Monday that AD returns to us and we'll make sure contact is maintained, etc. as much as possible with her Brother which we would absolutely do. She was v. receptive to this proposal and jumped on this immediately. She said she would have our AD speak with her Atty/GAL. To make a long story short, our AD was never told that we want her to return and given that option, but yet asked in an abstract way by her Atty. if she wanted to come back to our 'state' or adopted 'near' or 'far'. IMO this is not the same as outright asking the question to a child.

This was discovered from my conversation with the Foster Mom after I told her that the SW e.mailed me and said AD didn't want to return to us after all. I told her that I was disappointed, but that I respected her wishes. Foster Mom didn't say anything to me at that point, but later that day she initiated the conversation with AD and asked her outright if she was told by her Atty. that we had called or that we wanted her to return? AD was beside herself with happiness that we wanted her to return and said that her Atty never mentioned anything about us or this option for her. AD then called me later and we talked at length. She told me how badly she misses us and wants to be with us and adopted by our Family and that she never wanted to leave. This child doesn't have a problem telling the truth, so I believe her. She is fine with being away from her Brother as long as they can have phone calls.

AD is 10 and SW told me she has a choice as to whether she wants to be adopted by someone. Foster Parents are getting a meeting together with GAL/Atty, Director, SW and AD to get things straightened out. Someone is blatantly not telling the truth and I'm wondering how much power the GAL/Atty. has and if they would really deny the wishes of a 10 year old? Is it possible that they are trying to keep her and do a wait/see if Brother/Sister can be adopted together in the future if he is ever ready? (which I doubt, personally).


The FP are done fostering in Dec., so our AD would be moved again at that point. They are desperately in our corner and SW was always in our corner and supportive of this placement. I even offered long-term Foster Care to the SW for our AD until she is 18 if that was more in line with her placement plan although we preferred adoption. We just desperately want our Daughter.

Do you think we should seek legal counsel and find out our options? I believe my AD, that she wasn't given the choice. This is a crazy situation and we are just in limbo until at least this meeting takes place.

Your thoughts are appreciated.

[savannah2]

I would wait and see what happens at the meeting. Talk to the fm and see what she thinks. then i would talk to the gal,if you can get him on your side you will be all set, they carry alot of weight and are listened to.

[Blackcat66]

Thanks, Savannah for your thoughts.

The GAL/Atty are one in the same and I think she feels this matter is closed, which is what the SW is conveying to us as her mouthpiece.

The Foster Mom is calling the meeting, so I don't think anything we say is really going to change the GAL's mind at this point and I don't want to push too hard yet. It will likely be this meeting that will be the turning point and I would be astounded if they could overlook the wishes of this child. You never know though in this crazy system. Both the Director and Foster Mom believe this placement is in the best interest of our Daughter which it definitely is.

This is just so hard to deal with...

[savannah2]

I meant call after the meeting . Maybe ,hopefully, there is some miscommunication going on.

[LeighM]

Can you attend this meeting? Happen to be in town and thought you would drop by? Just an idea.