[Lylac]

I talked to FM today, apparently our son got in trouble at school today. According to FM someone either made him mad or they were mean to him, probably both. So he tried to spit on the teacher.
Now first thing is he's 3 y/o dev between 6 to 12 months. He can't walk, and can only say dada. And has NO business being in school all day (in his stroller)

But ya'll knew all this already, except the trouble at school today. Which I don't think really happened anyways. And like some of ya'll said before, I'm really beginning to think FM is trying to discourage us from this adoption.

I'll tell ya why. And you tell me what it sounds like.

After she told me about school , she said I noticed how mild mannered L is, I said yeah, she's like that all the time. She said, are you SURE you want a boy?
I said umm yeah, why wouldn't we? She said, well sometimes he can get very loud verbally (sounds) and makes alot of noise banging on his toys. I told her well thats just part of it. She goes on to say that the other kids play rough with him and sometimes he will try to scratch and bite her and them.

I know he fights them, we saw it, but it was to get away from them.

It's always something negative, not anything that would make us change our mind. It just seems like he's being aggressive with them because he has to or something. Because thats how they treat him.

When I don't say anything back to her, that would make her think, that anything she has just told me, affected me in the least. She goes on to say how sad she is to be giving him up, and that I needed to call our ICPC unit here and PUSH things along.

Still no word on ICPC yet, I called his CW and she hasn't heard anything yet either. But it won't be 6 weeks until Thursday. So hopefully one day soon.

Still no word from L's teacher yet.. and the sp ed classes started a month ago. Her teacher promised to call me 3 weeks ago, I've called every week. So tomorrow me & lil miss L are going to visit the school.

ok done venting for now.. what a day!

[Faith65]

Lylac,

Contuine being persistent. It sounds like to me that FM maybe very attached or wants you to have a very clear idea of what you and your family maybe getting into. As you already know each child is different and are being aware of that. You can even give her that statement and not go into it any further.

Go luck with L and her teachers today.

[SuzBerg]

Lylac - ((HUGS))! We just need that little boy to come home to you!

First of all I don't see how he could even "get in trouble" at school, if he's in a special needs pre-school (just my assumption), I'm sure the teachers have lots of kids with inappropriate actions. (My sweet little E hit the PPCD teacher last week because they made her get off the swings to get on the bus, and developmentally E does know that she shouldn't do that!). Second, I don't know why the FM felt she needed to "report" it to you. I think you are doing the right thing by trying to ignore her negativity. I will just hope and pray along with you that ICPC is done soon!

Good luck with L and the school today, hope that it all works out!

[ajjhmf]

Lylac!

It has to be hard waiting on paperwork to get your son and hearing the foster mom's negativity. Sending prayers your way for fast ICPC.

Blessings!

[dadfor2]

So he tried to spit on the teacher.
Now first thing is he's 3 y/o dev between 6 to 12 months. He can't walk, and can only say dada.

the poor kid, i know with my older son, even though he is delayed, the slighest thing can tick him off, and that is only because he is so frustrated.

I guess my reasoning for posting this, is just be aware, that chances are your son (soon to be) probably was frustrated and spit on her/him.

some people dont have the patience to work with our kids and then they just accpet, do to size, that they all 'get it'

as for FM, maybe she is really feeling the loss of her little one, at least thats how she might see it, so she is just telling you his behaviors in an attempt to scare you away. She might not even be aware she is doing it.

boys are TOUGH, especially with special needs, my job as a parent is to make sure they dont kill themselves. I mean that sincerly, from their anger out of frustration, they seem to go physical more then 'talk' about how they feel. They just dont have the words.

as for this school not calling you, i would report them to someone, that is TOTALLY unacceptable, you should of gotten call within the day when you called.

Unless of course you are not on the 'list', then they are not allowed to tell you anything.

i dont know your stituation at alll, i can totally be off wtih this whole thing. BUt is sounds like FM is having alot of feelings for the child she has been taking care and from the sounds of it, he sounds like a special kid, so no wonder.

[Lylac]

Dad, the FM has had him since he was 2 months old, he's 3 now. I'm sure she has alot of feelings about him being adopted. She didn't want to adopt him, nor let anyone else adopt him. She wanted him in LTFC with her. It's a $$$ thing.

My daughter & him have the same thing shaken baby syndrome, her at 4 months, and him at 6 weeks.

L was supposed to start sp ed pre school when she turned 3, The teacher never called me back, so I kept her at home another year.

She's 4 now (soon to be 5) and ready to go. The teacher has her file, but "hasn't gotten around" to her. Like my daughter has to wait because she's not importatnt enough!!! GRRR

[dadfor2]

She didn't want to adopt him, nor let anyone else adopt him. She wanted him in LTFC with her. It's a $$$ thing.

same wth my older child....even my older child, when he came to us, he use to say 'im expensive'...i had no idea on what he meant...until now.

his foster mom even told him on occassion that he was only there because he brings in money then the other child because of his speccial needs.....

as for the preschool....maybe if at all possible, find another one...i just find that so un-cool that they wont call you back, it would make me wonder how invested they are with the kids.

[Lylac]

I called the school, because I didn't want to disrupt anyone, to find out when she could talk to me. It's a good thing that I did, the class is out on a field trip today. And was told that they havn't started testing yet. HUH? What? Time for field trip, no time for new kids. Can ya feel the heat..I'm steamimg here.

I can't switch schools..it's the only primary school we have (in this county). No city schools, just county.

L has learned more by me keeping her out, when she was 3 than she would have, by going. She's 4 and knows, her ABC's , colors, numbers, shapes, and can identify them. Her name and how to spell it, can count to 30. She's smart, and learns fast. All this from a child that they said would never be more than a vegetable.

And it doesn't matter when she starts..we're not on any deadline. I just don't want her to fall through the cracks and forgot about (again). Nothing like a P'd Off momma to fill those cracks in real quick

[Lylac]

I'm even madder today than I was yesterday. L's teacher took the kids to the Zoo. And my SIL that works for West TN head start, told me today that they did evaluations months ago for the new students. And that L's old SP therapist now works for the school. So I call her and she confirms what SIL said. GRRRRRRRRR So tomorrow I'm calling The lady thats over the Special ED Program and have a nice long talk to her about this. L should have started school Aug 14th. If ya'll hear alot of LOUD noise don't worry, it will be me kicking *SS

[Grrltrouble]

You go, Lylac! Sounds exactly like that's what is called for.

[Faith65]

Lylac,

I just don't get the way the system or whatever you want to call it works or doesn't work for our children! This is just another pisser to add to my long list of messed up adults hurting or ignoring our children! I'm with you this week on kicking some @SS!!!!!!!!!!!

[zebramom]

Lylac, get Crick's stick to help with the beating that the school needs. I am so sorry you are going through this. It is so tiring to have to continue to fight for what your kids need!!!!

[ajjhmf]

Lylac, that is so agrivating! You actually have grounds for a lawsuit at this point as they are violating federal law. I'm not saying to sue but I would mention that in a letter to the school.

My advice is to make your calls today, then send a follow-up letter to the teacher, principal, special ed. director and the school board. They'll get moving then, I'm sure of it.

If not, find a lawyer that does specialize in these things and go get 'em!

[Lorraine123]

You go girl!!!! If we don't advocate for our kids, no one else will.

[SAHmom]

Lylac, any new developments with your situation with L's school? What a mess!

What is the plan for your son to come home?