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A week has now come and gone with our new son. It's been a week of mostly ups, a few downs, and a lot of discovery, both for him and us.

As I write this, it occurs to me that essentially what we are giving this little boy is a "normal" life. Not necessarily the life that children imagine - there has not yet been a circus, or carnival rides, or cotton candy. We are not, by nature, an adventurous sort of family. What Demario has had for a whole week is this:

Sisters that he can play with and share with... Sisters that severely get on his nerves sometimes and take up a portion of each day bickering with him. Sisters who also don't always want to play with him, don't always want him to play with his stuff, but who will eventually seek him out once more if he leaves them alone long enough.

A dad that doesn't like arguments and makes him be kind to his sisters, but is happy to watch a basketball game, or help him do his multiplication tables. A dad that takes the time to teach him how to do the dishes and how to throw a baseball.

A mom that is cranky first thing in the morning, and that stands over him and makes him do his school work when he doesn't want to. A mom that calls him her sweet boy, smiles when he walks in the room, and falls more in love with him everyday.

Simple things... It's amazing to me that this little boy has lived nine years of his life and has never had some of the most simple experiences imaginable. Yesterday morning he held an earthworm in his hand for the first time. He was absolutely terrified, until he realized that this worm was not going to "bite him". This morning, he held a cat for the first time. He'd never held a CAT before! Once again, he thought he'd be bit or scratched or otherwise harmed, but relaxed once he realized that our cat will gladly and peacefully take attention from anyone at anytime. He felt a cat's purr against his hands and the smile on his face was priceless. On Thursday, it was playing "King of the Mountain" on a pile of hay in the barn with a new friend. Each day is filled with new experiences and his fears of things he doesn't know are slowly subsiding.

Discipline... saying sorry when he's offended someone. Saying "I forgive you" when someone offends him. Doing what is asked of him without complaining loud enough for anyone to hear it. Facing consequences for being argumentative. And realizing that, in spite of the consequences, he is loved.

Responsibility to keep his room clean, take out the trash, hang up his bath towel when he's done with it, and keep track of his own toys.

So this is what he's been given so far. And he seems to be - in spite of a bout with a cold the past two days - thriving in normalcy. When he's grown up, he likely won't say that we were the funnest family around... But he can say that he had sisters to fight with, strict parents, hay to play in, icky earthworms to mess with, a cat that appreciated his affection... and love that was evident and true.

And maybe that's what he's needed the most.

-Susan C.

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Originally Posted By Pam

It is amazing to me at what kids miss while in foster care (such as Demario having never held a cat before). Raphael (age 10) had never been on a bicycle or in a pool. IMO, love and normalcy are what they need the most, not craziness. WHile we do tend to do some adventurious things from time to time, we are also mostly homebodies. I'm glad things are going so well with your son. Ours is two weeks away from coming here (and counting down). God bless.

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Originally Posted By Kena

... and what all children should have! Somehow, I think stability is much more important than excitement -- especially now. It sounds like he is having fun!