[lucyjoy]

I don't know, should I be bothered when the therapist gets scared during sessions? He wasn't quite sure what to think about my little darling and said he was quite frankly, a little shocked. Dear son had to write a report on stalking. I asked him what he learned and he told me that he'd done lots of the stuff. Therapists asks what.
Kid procedes to tell him about his treatment of woman. This is not shocking to me because I am well aware of my sons sociopathic thinking. He told the therapist about threatening a girls boyfriend because he wanted to date her and he didn't care what she wanted. Told him some other such incidents. Therapist asked how far he would go if a girl wanted to leave him. Would he hurt her? Son said he didn't think so. Therapist says would he scare her real bad. Son says he already did that(and he did to the poor girl he managed to call from inside the RTC)

We had a lovely conversation about an author whose name a can't recall who wrote a book about scary sociopaths and how my son appeared to be living the book chapter by chapter. Welcome to my reality, Mr. therapist.

[ManyTimesBlessed]

Wow. It think I would look for a therapist who is a little more familiar with this kind of behavior. It does seem weird that he was scared by your son!

[lucyjoy]

Oh, my sons very scary. He's seen lots of therapists all over the country. He's scared quite a few. I really think he's kind of enjoying himself at this guys expense. He's just calmly and coldly describing his view of life. I think he likes the attention.

[kay]

So sorry to hear more about your reality, Lucyjoy. But isn't it kind of good when somebody actually sees what you've been dealing with? I wish there were a magic wand to wave over your son to help him think more clearly - more humanely. I am so sorry.

[Lorraine123]

I was kind of thinking the same as Kay. Its a little validating when the therapist sees things the same way you do.

[numbr1dbcksfan]

Is this deoderant boy??? ( )

So did he have any suggestions?

[ajjhmf]

I have to agree with Lorraine and Kay. It sure would be nice if there was a fix for this. I doubt even the RAD curing inhalant would work in this case.

Atleast this therapist 'gets' it and appears to be on your side now. So there is some good here.

Blessings,
Jenny

[lucyjoy]

Not the deodarant kid.

No one has any suggestions accept that I should not be near this kid when he's released.

The therapist has been pretty shocked by how cold my son is. My son figured out he's stuck there and his plan to get released didn't work so he's decided to have some fun. He really did do all these things and is enjoying the therapists reaction. Unfortunately, no one has much hope that he will not do something to someone and land in jail in his future. There will be victims to his pathology-likely women. He's also very sweet, polite, and incredibly charming. Scary combination.

[aspenhall]

If he's a minor, could you drug him and tatoo the word SOCIOPATH across his forehead??

I guess perhaps they may be cooperative now huh??

[Tudu]

I am glad they are validating you after all this time. Perhaps now they won't suggest locking you in a room with him.

[aspenhall]

Authorize a lobotomy perhaps?? OR Electro shock therapy....I dunno...what other personality altering surgeries are there?

Get all his therapists to write you a written reports on his current behavior and eexpected future behavior in society. Then take them to the local police to try to get a restraining order. That will establish a history and they will be quicker to respond and prosecute, should he get released...

[lucyjoy]

I have lots of reports. What am I suppose to do with them? Sell them to the Enquirer in 10 years when they dig up the bodies he's buried? I can say-"Yes, I knew" and everyone will wonder how I could have let this happen and nobody did anything. At this point, I'm just hoping that since he's told so many people he liked trying to kill me that he won't be able to. If I disappear, he's the first person anyone's going to look at so maybe it buys me time.(which is somehow not terribly comforting) I don't want to be that mom that has to explain to some innocent girls grieving family and friends why I didn't stop my son from killing her. And I can't stop him. I often wonder how the families of killers move on with their lives. Where are the parents of the Columbine kids who killed? What kind of life do they have? What about siblings? And then I think how incredibly selfish that thought is. The families of the dead lost people that they love. Truth is, I never had my son. I spent 9 years trying to reach his heart and never got there. It's a loss I grieve for everyday.
I've come to watch the anger towards families of those that kill. That's not where my compassion should be but it tends to find it's way there-fear, I suppose. If I didn't have other kids, I don't suppose it would matter so much. I will feel responsible for whatever damage my son does in society, even if I have no control. I am his mother and the what if's will always be there.

[Lorraine123]

I think as parents we always feel responsiblity for the actions of our children. I mean, we feel pride when they succeed, and we feel responsiblity when they don't. And I too have wondered about the families of killers. Society says that the actions of children are the result of parenting. And in general, I would agree with that. But society has no exception for the cases where that isn't true. You did not cause this, you are just trying to pick up the pieces that were caused by others. I think most of the world doesn't want to know about the dark part of child abuse. And then, people want to think that children are resilient. That love will cure it all. Well, I look at all the school shootings and violence in schools and I wonder what the cause of it is. How many of those children were older adopted children? How many had been through the foster care system or grew in orphanages? Even the best of parents can't cure what ails some children. And going over the "what ifs" is just part of mothering. Lucy, I would sit right there beside you while you explain what your son did if that would help. I really feel for you. Unfortunately, sometimes our best isn't good enough.

[Kerbchek]

I've followed this thread but didn't respond because I have no advice... but the whole parent responsbility for kids' actions kinda freaked me out... it is true - what a kid does reflects back on what kind of parents the kid has... I hear it all the time at school - it torks me off when I hear teachers in the lounge talking about this kid or that kid and it must be the parents fault... sometimes perhaps, but not always... and many parents out there weren't the kids parents since birth and even have less influence... but the feeling of responsibility is still there...

I'm trying to send as many positive vibes your way I can since I have to pay the insurance deductable for my Jeep and can't afford the Hawaii tickets right now... no voodoo dolls please...

[lucyjoy]

I'm not looking for advice, just need to talk. It's pretty overwhelming on my own. I don't really think there are any answers.

I'll take all the good vibes I can get and I'd never make voodoo dolls of someone who wants to send me to Hawaii-only for people who go without me.