[pprescott]

It's been a frustrating weekend for us.

We're in the "matching" phase of the adoption process. We've had some progress with a sibling pair (two pre-teen brothers) who look like a promising match -- we've met with the boys' social worker and had a great session, and even had a chance to meet the boys at an adoption event (although of course we had to play it low-key and not let on to the boys that we had been talking with their social worker earlier that week.)

That was at the start of March. Things have come to a crawl in the process. It's nothing to do with us as we are bending over backwards to be accomodating and could bring the boys (or any match) into our home at a moment's notice.

The boys' social worker felt obliged to ask the foster parents who are looking after the boys if they would be interested in adopting them. The social worker even gave them three weeks to decide (to the end of March.) She met with the foster parents on Friday afternoon to get their decision.

We hoped that we'd get a phone call from the boys' social worker on Friday about the decision. No call. We figured we'd hear on Monday (today) so tried to just get through the weekend.

I finally got a phone call from our social worker just after lunch to let me know that the foster parents DIDN'T make a decision and have asked to have until Good Friday (April 14th) to make their decision.

What I wonder is how will two more weeks make a difference if they couldn't figure it out in a month? Have they not thought about this in all the time they've been looking after the boys?

So it's more waiting for us. (Must remember to take DEEP BREATHS.)

[mamaF]

I'll keep you in my thoughts. How frustrating for you! Take good care of yourself in the meantime!

[wenrl]

Wow! You must be pulling out your hair! That just makes no sense all the way around. Why were you meeting them and talking to their social worker about being matched if the social workers didn't ask the foster parents already and foster parents? Hello! Either the boys feel like they are a part of their family and they can't live without them or not. It's a huge decision, but not really complicated. I really feel your pain!

I especially feel your pain because going on 3 weeks ago we were contacted about a child who would be a great match for us needing a new foster home (and likely adoptive) in a matter of a few days. Because this was an email and nobody called us, we didn't know until the day the child was being moved somewhere else and it was too late! On the plus, workers thought we'd make a great adoptive match since it looks like she'll be going that way. Then everyone seems to have gone on vacation. We keep wondering if now the new foster parents will also need to state their intent. On one hand, it will be great if the little girl doesn't have to move anymore, but on the other big bummer for us since we'd be a family of four now if I hadn't taken 3 days off work to do housework and go shopping! Frustrating -- I know!

Good luck! I'm going bald with you!

[wenrl]

Is anyone else annoyed by the ad pop-up links coming up under certain words or phrases? I can't believe "going bald" is one of them!

[Faith65]

Paul,

Keeping you in my thoughts while you do the waiting game.

[pprescott]

Originally Posted by wenrl

Why were you meeting them and talking to their social worker about being matched if the social workers didn't ask the foster parents already? Hello!

This is exactly what we've been wondering. Why are they wasting time on trying to match up kids who might already be matched with their current foster parents? There are so many kids out there who do need to be matched you'd think it would make sense for social workers to use their valuable time and energy more wisely.

It would certainly cause less heartache all around, and would streamline the social workers' jobs too I expect, if they would clear up if the foster parents want to adopt or not before they start looking to match waiting kids with other waiting families.

But I guess that's not how it works out.

[Lylac]

Paul we know how you feel. The CW shouldn't have said anything until the foster parents declined on adopting. And the foster parents SHOULD know if they want to keep them or not. At least we would know. It's not fair to the kids or to you, for them to keep sitting on the fench, they need to jump off on one side or the other ALREADY!

[Tudu]

How could they not know after fostering them? I am so sorry you are on hold while they get it together.

We have been matched since January and we had to threaten to decline before the SW to send the files. It can be very difficult waiting for someone else to do their job.

[Kerbchek]

Wow, that's crazy... As soon as I had my foster care license they called me and asked if I wanted an 8 yr old and a 10 yr old siblings...who were living in a temporary assessment level foster home in town... sounded perfect. I had almost everything ready anyway and was looking into after school care for them, I couldn't wait to meet them... they already attended an elementary school close to where I lived, then a couple of days later they found a relative that would take them... I was pretty bummed for a few days...or so...

You really would think they would research adoptive possibilities like current foster placements before soliciting other families... too crazy! Good Luck!!

[Lylac]

wenrl, these popup's are crazy, I always laugh when I see the unusual words they tag.