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Originally Posted By Pam

Mine is probably when I brought my 6 month old Korean adopted daughter into a convenient store, right after she first arrived, and the lady at the counter (who knew me well) asked, "Does she speak chinese or english?"

LOL. Anyone else?

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Originally Posted By Keagan

My story isn't funny but scary....

One day one of my students, a Native American, (I don't know why I'm adding that part... just seems to fit) walked over to my son's picture on my computer wallpaper and stared at it. Not just your normal stared but mystically stared at it. Then she slowly walked away and said "I don't want to appear to be disrespectful, but I don't see you there."

I WAS DEVASTATED! Don't ask me why, I know (sometimes) that he is not my birth child. But he is... I felt like my masquerade had been uncovered. My face and countenance dropped. She knew I was disturbed. After I gather myself together, a couple days later, I semi-jokingly said to her... you really know how hurt a guy. This chick is pretty cosmic. She determined from my personality my horror-scope sign, and in the same breath my birth date.

I steering clear of her... ;-)

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Our first adoption was when we brought home our youngest daughter, Alia, from the country of Kazakhstan last spring. Alia is Kazakh, which is an Asian ethnicity (Kazakhstan is in Central Asia... a fact that I told everyone for several months before she came home because nobody had heard of the place before).

Comment (that startlingly came from not one person, but FOUR): "You said you were adopting an Asian baby, but I didn't think she'd be THAT Asian!!!"

-Susan C.

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Originally Posted By Shelley

When my daughter was a baby I was a proud momma as we all are. I dressed her in a PINK dress and PINK bonnet and I hate Pink! But was a happy momma. Two ladies walked up to me and said yours, I reply yes all smiley then one says what a cute BOY. *#@^%*! Go figure.

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Originally Posted By Pam

Susan, YOUR post was classic! Too Asian! Oh, I think my sides are gonna bust!!!!

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Here's another one, that happened just a week ago...

Adult stepson and his new girlfriend came out to pay a Christmas visit. While my husband and stepson were gone running errands, the girlfriend and I sat down in the living room for a little chat. My daughter Alia came over and started showing me one of her toys, and said, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy."

The girlfriend falls silent for a moment or two and watches the exchange between my daughter and I and then says, real serious-like... This is so stupid and awful and ridiculous at the same time, I can't even believe it... SHE SAID:

"DOES IT BOTHER YOU WHEN SHE CALLS YOU MOMMY??"

I think I was so shocked that I pretty much just said, "No... it doesn't bother me..." Of course, later I thought of a million better replies I should've given to girlfriend - everything from remarking on her blond hair to inquiring as to what she calls her OWN mother - but by that time the girlfriend had gone back to wherever it was she came from and it was too late.

-Susan C.

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Originally Posted By Pam

There have actually been too many stupid comments made to me in my 16 year adoption career for me to name them all, but here are a few more.

Son from Hong Kong is blind in one eye. He was taking violin and just couldn't see his fingers to be able to do it. So I called his orechstra teacher to pull him out of orchestra. The man said, in a shocked voice, "I've NEVER had an Asian student that wasn't a WONDERFUL violinist! This is a first."

Many people have said to me, about my one biological son, "Aren't you afraid that adopting all "THESE" children will give him the message that it's ok to marry outside of his race?" (Dohhhhhhhh. Like I care)

People asking me, "What will you do if their "real parents" want them back?"

I love this common one: "Don't you have any of YOUR OWN?"

Once, my daughter, then 14, who is Korean, was holding her little sister, who is bi-racial. A girl went up to her and said, "Is that your baby?" Puzzled us both. We just laughed.

Of course my 11 and 7 year old, who are african-american, are constantly asked, "So do you play basketball?" I love my 11 year old's consistent answer: "I hate sports."

Then, of course, we have heard "So why did you do this? Couldn't you get a WHITE child?"

It is assumed by many that Asians don't speak English. I was shopping with my son, now 23, and a store clerk kept talking to him with exaggerated enounciation and hand gestures, even though he answered her in perfect English (he has lived here since age 6). Again, we laughed when we left (a good sense of humor helps).

Some of these stereotypical comments have come from people of my child's own race. Really makes me shake my head.

Of course, most of the time, everyone is great to myself, my hub, and my kids. But adoption is a very hard concept for many to grasp. Many can't imagine loving a child you didn't give birth to. Think of all the people who spend thousands to conceive a child that is genetically their own.

That so many people do not consider adoption a legitimate way to add to a family is probably why so many great kids still wait in foster care for loving homes.

Things that make ya scratch yer head.....(smile).....Keep the comments. I like to read t hem. Makes me feel less alone...lol

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... that was a question that was given us when our 18 year old son (who had been adopted at 8!) reunited emotionally (and eventually geographically) with his birth parents/family ...
We just reply with ... Heavens NO ... we love being the parents that say YES now!!! Stops them dead everytime!

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Originally Posted By Cheree

For those who don't know, I'm black. I have a friend and all three of her kids have the blondest hair and bluest eyes. Her youngest is a 7 month old girl and when we take our kids to school, many times I'll hold and play with her daughter. Well even with my friend, with her blonde hair and blue eyes, sitting right next to me, kids always come up and tell me how pretty "my" daughter is.

Cheree

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Originally Posted By Carla

I was in Wal-Mart in the baby section with our newborn twin African American fraternal girls. They were about 3 weeks old and probably weighed in at 5 pounds each. First of all I am definitely caucasian (blue eyes and brunette) and these girls are definitely not mixed, they are both very dark complected with black eyes and tightly curled hair. A lady who was also shopping in this section and was about mid 20's asked me if I nursed! This happened after I had told her that they were foster babies!

Go figure!

Carla

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I've met many women online who have nursed adoptive and foster babies... some even up to two years of age. Adoptive breastfeeding takes a lot of work and persistance, but it IS possible. Had considered it myself with my first adoption... but didn't have the ambition to keep up with supplemental herbs and a steady "pumping regime."

-Susan C.

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Originally Posted By Shelley

Pam you reminded me of the infamous "how can you love an adopted child" question that we got from so many relatives when we started our quest. I asked them "You mean to say you don't love your nieces and nephews, 'grandchildren', all 23 of them...hard to believe but it did shut them up! LOL. S

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Originally Posted By Alison

but my DH DID the dumbest thing. After we had our son, Chaz, I sent Tony (DH)out for diapers. Told him everything... you know, size 1 Huggies for weight of 10 - 17 pounds (whatever it was). Well, he came home with those... but for GIRLS. The package was all in pink! I said, "Tony, I didn't think I had to tell you we had a boy!"

Also, the first week I was back to work, when Chaz was 6 months old, Tony was keeping him. He actually call me at work and said "We are out of diapers, what should I do?"! I told him to go by them! HUSBANDS! Got to love them!

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Originally Posted By Carla

Susan,

A friend of mine who wanted to breastfeed a young foster baby was told that it wasn't allowed in this state. I was unaware that it was done in other places. I am aware that you can breastfeed a baby not born to you, I just wasn't aware that any states allowed you to breastfeed a foster baby! I probably could have done this relatively easily since with my singlet birth I made too much milk and had a difficult time getting regulated. I felt like a COW!

Carla

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How about just a funny comment from an adopted kid? Last fall we were visiting at my parents' house, and my adopted niece (5 yr. old Ellie) and I were in the hallway looking at the family wedding pictures. When we were looking at my own wedding picture, I made a comment about her not being in the picture, momentarily forgetting she hadn't been born yet (was born two weeks later) - that she was still in her mommy's tummy. Keep in mind that my sister's adoptions are all open adoptions, so Ellie does know her birthmother. Ellie's quick answer was that no, she was not in her Mommy's tummy, her Mommy's tummy was broken (my sister had endometriosis) - she was in Anna's tummy! Ah, wisdom from the mouth of a babe....